JULY 14, 2014: “We Train Others How To Treat Us” …


“We train others how to treat us”, said a wise teacher and mentor of mine this afternoon in a real estate class I’m taking. Ironically, I had already heard these exact words from a colleague I’d called upon for some advice a year ago in dealing with a buyer transaction that I just couldn’t get a hold of. She probably has no idea of the impact those six powerful words she spoke while coaching me through “the buyer from hell” ordeal had on not only my professional life, but my personal life as well. Ever since she said it, I’ve repeated them to myself often on a daily basis.

I am so grateful to be living in a time, not only geographically, but socially and economically as well, that I can choose to further not only my education, but my wisdoms of life in general and feel completely supported by my environment in doing so. You see, I am a woman who was first a daughter, then a wife, then a mom, and then a real estate agent and home stager. Honestly? A career in real estate wasn’t a natural choice for me, and in fact, if left solely to my former self’s complete lack of self-confidence, awareness and subconscious “fear of succeeding”, I suppose I’d still be hiding somewhere in a perfectly manicured palace of oblivion on a road I have since left behind. I would never have fully realized not only my potential, but my true love and appreciation of life, learning and people in general. But alas, I turn to yet another one of my favorite all time mantras, “everything happens for a reason”! Yes, this is truly the edict I have chosen to adopt over the course of many lifetimes, loves and tragedies, and the one voice inside my psyche that faithfully pulls my little train down this ever rambling track I ride. That being said, even that “buyer transaction from hell”, brokerage colleagues and real estate teachers “happened for a reason”.

On my way home from school this afternoon I kept thinking about how much I wanted to literally jump out of my seat in class today when I heard my teacher say those words I now so fondly relish and yell, “Yes, yes, YES! This is what I’ve been saying to myself almost every day since Debbie G said these words to me during my buyer transaction from hell!”  Wow, do you think they would have thought I was nuts, or what? During that same ride home I couldn’t help but notice that I was smiling from ear to ear, richer still with yet another treasured light bulb moment! My point here is that I am inspired, on fire, and completely elated with my new found freedom to take every opportunity I can to absorb every shred of wisdom from those who have gone before me through doors I am constantly preparing to go through. Of course I will take and apply this principal to my real estate practice, and most especially where my buyer agency is concerned. But more than that, I am practicing this principal in my every day life as well, and gotta tell ya, it sure feels good to know what I know and why I know it, and further, to daily permit myself to “just say no” now and again, rather than letting some people run me over with their big ole busses to chaos. Boundaries are superb my friends! They send a smokescreen out into our atmosphere that reads …

No thank you, I’ll pass. I wouldn’t do that to myself, a loved one, or quite frankly even a stranger, so you may NOT do that to me.

What a coincidence that two people I have grown to respect in the fledgling state of my career have both said “these words” to me. Perhaps I should tattoo them in reverse on my forehead so I see them every time I look in a mirror. This is me folks, like it or not:



Respect for human boundaries of any shape or form is implicit in the survival of our very souls. And for the record, with this post I do hope that “agent colleague friend of mine” now properly realizes the impact her words had on this girl. Thanks “Debbie G”. And thanks wise and wonderful favorite teacher of mine “Coach Smith”.

Six. Simple. Words!