MARCH 9, 2021: “They Walk Among Us” …

Some say forgiveness is for us and us alone, and I agree whole-heartedly, with the exception of this one little caveat as far as the full extent of grace I am capable of extending to the TRULY evil “Devil’s Own” that walk amongst us. Yes, I have forgiven my husband’s “mother“, and his “brothers and sisters“, and even that pit viper “nurse” who in her 100% stable, not mentally ill mind, set out to decimate not only my life, but my children’s.

I made the mistake of sharing some things I’d been through in my life with her, including my battle with mental illness. Trust me when I tell you, she knew exactly what she was doing, and exactly why her threats would work. In PURE EVIL style, she used my once paralyzing fear of “what people would think of me” as the power and control in her “I’M GONNA TELL EVERYONE YOU’RE NUTS” game of chicken.

You see, at that point Zack and I were just barely getting on our feet. So, the constant “see you in court” threats, Zack and I were foolishly convinced that with my extensive mental health history and lack of financial resources to fight them, if they did take me to court, not only would we most certainly be “bled dry” (as my ex-husband used to famously say), but we’d risk losing Gia in the process.

Knowing what I know now, and after everything was said and done, a court battle probably would have turned out in our favor. Was I a perfect mom? NOPE! Was I battling a mental illness? YUP! But was a “danger to society and other people’s children like she called all the moms to tell them? NOPE! Not so much! Meanwhile, I’m here to tell you, it takes a SPECIAL kind of “evil” to just wake up one morning and say, “Let me destroy her for sport because she GAVE me all her cards AND I CAN!”

Perhaps the worst part of what she did was how she even managed to turn Gia’s own father against her in the middle of one of her darkest storms. She had him convinced that, NOPE, Gia wasn’t really “being bullied, shunned and ostracized at school”, but that she too was just making things up as she went along. As a result, her dad believed that she, “like me”, was a lying, manipulating, “story-teller” who was simply jealous of his new girlfriend and her daughter. He refused to protect her! He refused to believe her! He refused to validate the sobering truths and realities about what was happening to her at that school, which to this day is a deep source of trauma to my daughter. She has “forgiven” her dad for the many ways he chose to stand in the corner of that “thing” and her daughter instead of hers, but trust me, she has never forgotten, nor will she.

This is what PURE EVIL looks like:

It depends on where you are in your journey, whether or not you’ve fortified your mental wealth, and to whom you’re disclosing your illness. After my clinical diagnoses and still in the early stage of my process, I made the grave mistake of sharing it with my ex’s girlfriend. Not only was she a nursing student at the time, but she claimed to have had a background in clinical psychology, as well, so, I really thought I could trust her. “First do no harm”, right? Well, just as sure as you’ve heard it said that “the devil will often appear disguised as everything you’ve ever wanted or needed”, she befriended me from out of the blue at a time when I was both mentally and physically down and in need of a friend. On the surface, she was kind and thoughtful, quickly availed herself to my process, and was eager to lend an ear and “support”. What I didn’t realize, however, is that what she was REALLY doing was collecting information to use against me at a later time, which, in fact, SHE DID!
Quite early in their relationship (which, for the record, I set up), things began spiraling between her and my ex. My kids couldn’t stand her (and STILL can’t to this day), as it was beginning to appear that there were ulterior motives behind her intentions. Within two weeks of dating, she all but moved her things into their home, and her vapid “indiscretions” within earshot of my son and his girlfriend (who were living at my ex’s at the time) didn’t help her case at all. Lol! “That” was five years ago, but her “loudly moaning and screaming” as they would say, and the headboard banging against the wall are STILL fodder at many of our family dinners. Long, sordid, and disgusting story short: Once things stopped going the way she’d hoped, she used the weaknesses and vulnerabilities I’d shared with her to bludgeon me. She began threatening to tell everyone at our very small private school about my “institutionalized nervous breakdown”, and that I was a “Girl Interrupted borderline”. She’d convinced herself that I was the one responsible for turning my kids against her, as well as many of the moms at our school, and assured me in no uncertain terms that “if I didn’t stop causing her problems”, SHE WAS GONNA TELL! She’d even threatened to contact the Texas Real Estate Commission and my brokerage and attempt to have my real estate license stripped from me.
Fast forward to that day on the school playground where a group of fourth grade girls (who this hooker’s daughter incited to shun and socially ostracize my daughter) surrounded my already fragile baby girl in a circle and asked her: “Is it true that your mom is a sociopath, was in a mental hospital, and dangerous to be around?” Yes, this is a verifiable reality! That pretty little pit viper and PIG had, indeed, called all the moms and spilled my beans. For the record, that day on the playground was the catalyst for my daughter’s suicidality, which in an extreme turn was one of the lynch pins in my husband’s ACTUAL suicide.
So, with that, I say to you this: Be careful who you share your illness with unless and until you are prepared for the potential backlash. Find a support system you can “trust with your life”! YOU NEED TO HAVE “SAFE PEOPLE” YOU CAN LEAN ON! You CANNOT and SHOULD NOT make your mental health recovery journey alone, but remember that there ARE people out there who prey on other people’s weaknesses in order to make themselves “God”. I call them “the Devil’s Own”!
Thank you all for listening, and for the record: “Hi everyone! It’s me, The REAL Cat Williamson! Yes, I am a recovering Borderline! Yes, I’ve had a nervous breakdown! No, I’m not ashamed of it! Yes, I’m a BADASS! Nope, I don’t care “who knows”! It took me a very long time, a lot of hard work, and a handful of unconditionally loving “safe people” for me to get here. I will pray for any of YOU who are still searching for the other side of your storm.
{“Should You Disclose Your Mental Illness To Others?“}


For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
{MATTHEW 6:14}
There will be times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self and of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.

{TIMOTHY 3:1-5}

I really can forgive anyone for just about anything, and as God is my witness, I HAVE! But I’ll just keeping taking people on a case-by-case basis. The Devil’s Own really do walk among us, but I’m not even sure they’re “people”. They’re a different kind of breed “thing” altogether. I’m not quite sure I’ll ever get to the point that I stop avidly praying that God really DOES sort us all out in the end. I’m just a mortal human, not a god or Jesus Christ, so I’ll just keeping asking for “forgiveness” for not being too excited about the idea of “mercy for the merciless”.



Wipe that smile off your face you immaculate disgrace, ’cause Heaven knows a prayer won’t save you now. You wear the halo of a saint to hide the venom of a snake, built your kingdom on a lie, so watch it all come crashing down! Now! You prophet of hate. You profit from faith. Truth-less, two-faced, two bit fuckin’ hypocrite, how does it feel? How does it feel? The day has come to pay for what you’ve done. Sinner revealed. Tell me how does it feel? So pure within your soul. Pure evil if your blackened heart believes in the righteous words you speak. You know Heaven will send hell for you and bring you to your knees … pray as your throne burns slowly. Now how does it feel? {Like A Storm}

MARCH 1, 2020: “Fight On Fighter” …

As you may know, long before August 22, 2019 when Zack turned our world upside down with the most egregious exit possible, Gia had been on a downward spiral of her own. It was November of 2018 when during a random a spot check of her phone, Zack walked into our room with a look of fear and panic on his face like nothing I’d ever seen before. He’d found that she had searched “I don’t want to live anymore” and “I think I want to kill myself”.

Our world came to a halt!

Prior to his suicide, Gia had been fighting a darkness of her own for years, at the heart of which was the depression, anxiety, and PTSD from the unsettled relationship with “real dad” and the subsequent fallout His girlfriend and her daughter bestowed her. “Girlfriend” is the highly skilled, calculated and manipulative woman with an agenda that is seeing it’s way to fruition even as I write this. They did a number her, which by the way, is still a source of unrest for her to this day, as not only is he still with her, but he’s planning to marry her.

Meanwhile, her years at St. Mark’s were spent toggling on the in and outskirts of a tribe of girls that only perpetuated her depression. “The Squad”, as they called themselves, were and still are clustered together like herpes blisters to bolster these infectious beliefs:

🔪 That being popular is the only power available to them.

🔪 That said popularity and power are directly linked to the societal insinuation that: “In order to be popular, and therefore powerful, you MUST be pretty and thin, have JUST the right shade of skin, and oh, yah … you gotta have LOTS of STUFF!”

🔪 That the most desirable and valuable sources of the power they seek are the truly feminine attributes: “The more physically developed, naturally gifted, talented and intelligent another girl is, the more dangerous her threat”.

🔪 That cruelty is a necessary evil in pursuit of “the power and position” within the hierarchy of a group.

🔪 That shunning, ostracizing, mocking, and humiliating any female whose naturally powerful attributes pose a threat to their own popularity and power by exposing, via comparison, their LACK of naturally powerful attributes, is the most effective way of reducing the other girl’s power.

🔪 That the “lower status” girls are typically the kindest ones, with the most effortless demeanors, and, therefore, most likely to just stand back and be trampled on by a pack of desperate loser TRASH.

LONG story short …

“The Squad” could neither stand NOR tolerate her lingering presence, much less allow her to enjoy any security within the group. Her genuine likeability, kind heart, natural beauty, intelligence, effortless athleticism, more developed physique, and “affluence” by virtue of her family were threats to the popularity and power they so desperately craved amongst their bottom-feeding, loser selves. THEY WERE JEALOUS LITTLE ASSHOLES WHO COULDN’T HANDLE HER SHADOW, SO THEY HAD TO FIND A WAY TO LEVEL THEIR VERY SPARSE PLAYING FIELDS BY LEVELING HER!

Let me stop any of you who may be saying:

Wow, that’s kind of harsh Cat! They were probably just young girls who didn’t know any better.

NOPE! Wrong answer! By this point in their lives, they most certainly knew better, and likewise, knew exactly what they were doing! For the record, a few of their pig-like, “let’s relive our school daze vicariously through our daughters” white trash, day-drinking, pot smoking, pleather wearing, TITTIES HANGING OUT ALL OVER SOCIAL MEDIA, “making out with other moms in the dark corners of nightclubs” mothers actually supported, if not instilled the “do what you must to ascend to the top” mindsets into their daughter’s psyches from a very young age. Lol, one hasn’t lived until they’ve actually heard a sixth grade TWOT of a girl say to the carload of other sixth graders packed into your SUV on the way home for a Friday night sleepover:

My mom said that the new girl’s family is VERY rich, her grandparents live in a mansion, and that I should try and make friends with her so that SHE can make friends with her mom so my DAD can try and get their business.

Umm, really? That’s so beyond pukeworthy, but also? IT’S ABSOLUTELY TRUE! These are the kind of “white-collar” trash bag families my daughter was associating with.

But I’ve digressed …

Yesterday, I finally got to the bottom of something that’s literally been eating Gia alive. As it turns out, her stunningly beautiful face and very developed physique had become more of a problem for “the Squad” than we’d suspected. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen your already broken daughter just staring at her plate and fighting through that mental gauntlet so many of us fall prey to: “I’m hungry, but maybe I shouldn’t eat this, because after all, I’m just a huge cow with gigantic legs.” That’s right people, turns out Gia has had a dragon of her own circling her fragile heart.

Fortunately, Gia talks to me about everything, some days more than others. Now that I think of it, both my kids talk to me about everything, and eventually I get to the bottom of their truths. With each day that passes, I’m learning more about the self-sabotaging voices she’s been fighting inside her own mind, and as we talked through the war she was having with her breakfast yesterday, she finally spilled these sobering words:

Mom, the thing is, I hate the way I look. I hate my curves and hate being so tall. And Mom, I never told you this, but last summer when I was at a Squad sleepover, we were upstairs, and Taylor started making fun of how much bigger my legs were than hers. She said, “Look everyone! Two of MY legs equals ONE of Gia’s!” Then she pointed out how much bigger my legs were than EVERYONE’S, and they all started laughing. THEN she started talking about my big, huge chest, and they started laughing even harder, and I felt like dying inside, and wanted to cry, but I couldn’t. They were supposed to be my friends Mom, but NO ONE stood up for me! Not even MJ! I wanted to call you to come pick me up, but I didn’t. I HATE MY BODY! Why DO my legs have to be so big? Maybe I just need to eat less?

And there you have it folks! It was a cruel and heartless CUNT bitch move! After all that my daughter had done for worthless, sewer rat, the only way she could make herself feel “big” was to cut my daughter down to her “giant” knees. When I imagine my beautiful Mona Lisa sitting there surrounded by “her tribe”, the girls who were supposed to stand up for her, not only against the world, but against each other, if necessary, in yet another “circle of abuse”, it makes me literally want to puke. It was her very own “Day Of The Spic And Span” and it was unacceptable!

I was infuriated beyond comprehension at first, but quickly remembered that I needed to keep calm and control my reaction. So, I took a deep breathe, thought things through, and this was my response:

Gia, I hear and understand you. I have been where you are and felt these same feelings, and I’m sorry that happened to you. It was unacceptable, BEYOND untrue, but damaging, nonetheless. But going forward, if you are to rise above this, you CANNOT worry about other peoples’ opinions. Remember: What other people think of you is none of your business! Any cruel disregard for your heart, emotions, and feelings is about THEM, not you, because in all their pathetic weakness, those “words” are ALL they have to slay you with. THEY HURT YOU BECAUSE THEY FEAR YOU! And remember this: You’re a queen, too, my beautiful little girl – a lioness perched on a hill! You DO NOT and WILL NOT consider the opinions of pitiful, insignificant, irrelevant, weak herding sheep that laugh at, mock, or torment you just to gain power, because you are MY daughter, and you are stronger and better than that! We can’t change the past, but we CAN change the future, so here’s what: Finish your breakfast, go get changed, let’s hit the gym today and do the work! Deal?

And so with that, we WILL keep working towards our soul destinations. My daughter is that fighter who willkeep on fighting on“, because she is mine, and that’s what GOOD queens do. Goodnight everyone!


I was there on the day that you were changed. You were scared and prepared for the heartbreak. Everything you knew faded out of view. Stole a piece of you. If I could, oh, I would be a hero. Be the one who would take all the arrows. Save you from the pain, carry all the weight. But I know that you’re brave. Fight on, fighter! Don’t let anyone steal your fire. Fight on, fighter! The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah. There’s a part that you hold that you lock down. Let it breathe, give it wings, set it free now. Time to make ya walk, break the prison bars. Show them who you are. Fight on, fighter!  Don’t let anyone steal your fire. Fight on, fighter! The Spirit is alive inside ya, yeah. Stronger than you than you ever thought. I know you’re stronger. Braver than you were before. You know you’re braver. Oh, no, you don’t have to be afraid. Together we’ll face it. So don’t ever stop no matter what. ‘Cause you’re gonna make it. {for King & Country}