NOVEMBER 21, 2019: “Secrets Make Me Sick No Longer!” …

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~ by The Phoenix Collaborative Project ~
Truth

No, but seriously … NO APOLOGIES WHATSOEVER for my “breakout verbal vomit” moment of truth here. As you can see with the creation of The Real Cat Williamson YouTube Channel, my many “secrets” will make me sick no longer. I’m gettin’ ready to get ready. I’m a beast! I’m a warrior! I’m a motivator! I’M A SURVIVOR! From this day forward, I’m GOING to be showing up and living a life of use to others! And oh, yah, by the way …

Dear Angelina Jolie,

THANK YOU for inspiring ME to “live a life of use to others”. I listen to your Jean Hershold Humanitarian Award acceptance speech every single day of my life now and have made my daughter listen to it as often as possible as well. Nothing will have meant ANYTHING if I leave this planet without having done just that, so that’s what I’m gonna do. You truly are one of my hero’s, and not because of “who you are” – because of “what you are”: A “Warrior. Motivator. SURVIVOR!” just like me. It is my sincere hope that before my lifetime is over, I will be able to thank you in person. ~ CAT WILLIAMSON: Warrior. Motivator. SURVIVOR;

NO APOLOGIES

Holding your breath. Holding your tongue. You’re only holding yourself back. So much to say. So far to run out from the shadows you have cast. Girl the best days of your life have yet to come. It’s okay, it’s alright, to open up. You don’t owe anybody anything. Life is yours to live anyway you please. No apologies. No promise left for you to keep. You can be whoever you want to be. No apologies. Closing the door. Closing your eyes. You’re only closing yourself off. So much to see. So much to try. Don’t be afraid of what you want. Girl the best days of your life have yet to come. It’s okay, it’s alright, to open up. {Trapt}

Secrets

NOVEMBER 11, 2019: “American Woman” …

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DEAR AMERICAN VETERAN,

There have been very few people in my half a century of life who have been worthy of the title “hero”, as that word tends to be overused a bit and I aspire to be “impeccable” with my words. If I don’t mean it, I won’t say it, and “hero” must truly be earned. Anyone who chooses a path that involves walking out the door each day not knowing if they’ll be coming home? Now that would be a hero!

I have long been thankful that I wasn’t born a man and have prayed incessantly for the men I’ve known and loved. Generally speaking, men are birthed to an existence wherein everything is literally expected of them. The entire weight of everyone’s world, including the weight of their own, is laden upon their shoulders from the cradle to the actual grave. Whereas generally speaking, American women have choices. Society allows us the freedom to be whoever we choose to be. Go to college, don’t go to college. Get married, don’t get married. Be a full-time wife and mother, opt to have a career, or maybe do a little of both. We aren’t “expected” to be anything other than what we were created for, and yes there’s a double standard.

Perhaps one of the best things I’ve ever heard in my life is Angelina Jolie’s Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award acceptance speech:

I have never understood why some people are lucky enough to be born with the chance that I had, to have this path in life, and why across the world there’s a woman just like me, with the same ability, and the same desires, same work ethic and love for her family … only she sits in a refugee camp, and she has NO voice. She worries about what her children will eat, how to keep them safe, and if they’ll EVER be allowed to return home. I don’t know why this is my life, and that’s hers.

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been handed some pretty rough cards as of late, but guess what? So have we all! Meanwhile, I do have too many options to count as a blessed and extremely privileged woman. Though my future may not be what I was planning 81 days ago, it can still be anything I choose, because you signed up to pay in part for my American dream!

It’s Veteran’s Day 2019, and some of us don’t take our freedom for granted. As a woman who’s often been chastised for my antiquated views on gender roles, today is especially important. I’m an American woman in my American home with an American voice bought and paid for by an American soldier. Please know that you are held in the absolute highest regard on not just this, but every day. Indeed, you have lived “a life of use to others”, and indeed YOU ARE MY HERO!

OCTOBER 25, 2019: “How Did I Not Know About This?” …

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I CANNOT BELIEVE I never knew about this until now, and CANNOT TELL YOU the infinite number of times I’ve had this similar conversation with my SO much better, stronger and wiser version of me daughter. I CANNOT WAIT until I begin to reveal all the missing chapters here in The Diary very soon, especially when it gets to the most important entry of all: Gia, at age 2, sitting at Jason’s Deli in Allen, on the day she became the death of every ugly thing my farce of a life used to be and the beginning of all my truths. She is the reason I decided to turn myself inside out and my life upside down once and for all because I was so afraid of her becoming “sick” like me, which is how I finally came to realize that “nothing would mean anything if I didn’t live a life of use to others”. This is the legacy I want to leave for my children. If I keep giving this all that I possibly can, one day, whether I’m here or not, I’ll be the luckiest woman that ever lived when they BOTH stand strong and proud amongst the crowds and say something like this about me:

My mom lived a life that was of use to others!

I. Love. This. Speech.

Thank you Angelina Jolie!