Tonight after “Batman” lit up our roof for the holidays Gia and I went to Walmart to get more lights for the shrubs in our pajamas, slippers and messy buns, looking quite ridiculous! We were “play arguing” over whether to get “all white”, “all red”, “all green”, or multi-colored. Before we knew it we were giggling up a storm and I said,
Man, this is tough. Do we match the shrubs to the roof, do a contrast, or what? What would Jesus do?
… to which my ever the consummate smartass daughter replied …
Well duh, mom, He WAS Jewish, so I’m thinking He’d go blue.
She meant no disrespect by the way. Gia loves her Jesus! Meanwhile, this couple standing nearby started giggling, too:
You two are so sweet together, like a mother daughter comedy act! You just made me miss my two girls who are on their way home from school right now and I can hardly WAIT to hug them even tighter. I miss those days when it was us being silly at Walmart. Thank you for lighting up this aisle with holiday spirit!
That was, perhaps, the greatest compliment either one of us could have gotten, especially under the circumstances, and as they walked away from us she turned to hug me and said, “Mom, I think we’re gonna be okay!”
Then I looked up at him and whispered, “Yes, we are!” Those people didn’t see it … all our pain, grief, and sorrow. There’s no way they could have imagined that just three months ago she was in a psych ward, and I was laying in bed barely breathing and begging God for the strength to walk, yet again, out of living hell.
We are gonna be okay! We won’t ever be the same, because life without him in it going to be so different, but that doesn’t mean it won’t be okay. In the meantime, we’re allowed to be excited and play argue and giggle about Christmas lights at Walmart.
Zack always insisted on nothing but the best for “his girls”. Did he throw us one HELL of a curve ball that was anything but “the best”? Umm, YUP! God’s grace has that covered, though, and he’s received both mine and Gia’s grace as well. I’m so thankful for those people tonight … and my daughter … and my life … and the King who helped build me into the divinely punctuated Light I am today who’s still able to “shine” through all this darkness!
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