HOLY SHIT!

Is this what’s really happening out there in the “looking for love” world today? Not that I’m looking for love or even to just start dating again at the moment or anytime in the forseeable future, but I’m getting messages and texts like this on an almost daily basis now, and just woke up to this one.

At first I was disgusted, but have since decided to cling as tightly to The Four Agreements going forward in this regard:

1. I’ll be impeccable with my words.

2: I won’t take anything personally.

3. I won’t make assumptions.

4. I’ll do my BEST to navigate through this abundant absurdity in the future.

Especially in that because of what I want to do with my life now, hiding myself away is not optimal or fair, and I won’t. Putting myself out there for all the right reasons is clearly going to come with a cost. So, with that …

DEAR MR. “LOOK AT ME!”:

I think I speak for many women in my season of life in saying that NOPE, I don’t wanna see your abs. Or your tattoos. Or your ass. Or you at a bar doing shots on a stripper’s stomach, or on a “guy’s trip to Vegas” smoking cigars with some 23 year old on your lap! I don’t care how many times a day you’re at the gym, or how much you bench press, and DON’T need pictures of you “taking pictures of you” at the gym bathroom in your ripped up shirt flexing an arm that is likely steroid injected, which means your testicles prolly look like grapes, so, NO! Me personally? The only abs, arms, ass, chest, tatts, or “LOOK! I’m at the gym!” pics I’ll EVER need to see will be of the man I marry IF I ever marry again.

Presentation is EVERYTHING, so here’s what’ll catch a GOOD woman’s eye …

Tell us what you believe in, what you fight for, and who you pray to AND for. Show us your kids, your mom, grandparents, sisters, brothers, and pets. Show us what you do to make this world a better place. Show us the world through your eyes … your sunrises, sunsets, and rainy nights at home alone. Show us where you travel (but NOT to Vegas with strippers)! And yah, show us a picture of yourself now and then, but with your shirt ON, please! Cover up all that yummy stuff so we can be surprised to find out what we’re REALLY getting someday and that not EVERY random woman has already seen it. Your smile and “presentation” as noted above will do your best advertising and prevent SO many of us from either laughing at you OR throwing up in our mouths.

Yours truly,

Every Single Woman With Brains