NOVEMBER 25, 2019: Dear Mr. “Look At Me” …

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So here’s my rant for the day :: HOLY SHIT IS THIS WHAT’S REALLY HAPPENING IN THE “LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP WORLD”? NOT that I’m looking to start dating at the moment or ANYWHERE in the forseeable future, but I’m getting messages and texts like this on an almost daily basis now and just woke up to this one.

At first I was disgusted by the entirety of it all but have since decided to just keep clinging as tightly as humanly possibly to The Four Agreements going forward in this regard: 1. I’ll be impeccable with my words; 2: I won’t take anything personally; 3. I won’t make assumptions; and 4. I’ll just do my BEST to navigate through this abundant absurdity in my future. Especially in that because of what I want to do with my life now, hiding myself away is not optimal, or fair, and I won’t. Putting myself out there for all the right reasons is clearly going to come with a cost. So with that …

DEAR MR. “LOOK AT ME!”:

I think I speak for many women in my season of life in saying that NOPE, don’t want to see your abs. Or your tattoos. Or your ass. Or you at a bar doing shots on a stripper’s stomach, or on a “guy’s trip to Vegas” smoking cigars with some 23 year old girl on your lap! Don’t care how many times a day you’re at the gym, or how much you bench press, and DON’T need pictures of you “taking pictures of you” at the gym in your ripped up shirt flexing an arm that is MOST LIKELY not natural, so, yah, just NO! Me personally? The only abs, arms, ass, chest, tattoos or “LOOK! I’m at the gym!” pics I will EVER need to see will be of the man I marry, IF EVER I MARRY AGAIN. Thanks though.

Presentation is everything and here’s what will catch a GOOD woman’s eye: Tell us what you believe in and what you fight for. Who you pray to and for. Show us your kids. Your mom, grandparents, sisters, brothers and pets. Show us what you do to make this world a better place. Show us the world through your eyes – your sunrises, sunsets and rainy nights in. Show us where you travel (AND NOT TO VEGAS WITH STRIPPERS)! And yah, go ahead and show us a picture of yourself now and then, BUT SHIRTS ON PLEASE! Cover up all that awesomeness so we can be surprised to find out what we’re really getting someday and that NOT EVERY WOMAN HAS ALREADY SEEN IT! Your smiles and “presentation” as noted above will do ALL your best advertising, I promise, and will prevent SO many of us from either laughing at you OR throwing up in our mouths.

Signed Truly … “Every Single Woman With Half A Sack Of Brains Everywhere“!

That’s all folks. Sorry, but I just had too!

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