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SEPTEMBER 17, 2026: “The FOUND Realist!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

DID YOU KNOW …

… that 21 years ago this week, back in 2005, Trapt released its “Someone In Control” album, which in turn gave birth to one of its most powerful songs, “Lost Realist”. This is its second appearance in this Diary. Meanwhile, I dunno who needs to hear this right now, BUT:

Your independence is calling your name, but a doubtful voice divides your faith.
Your independence only hesitates, an unsure choice you can’t embrace.

You’re gonna have to carve YOURSELF from stone … right to the bone, or you’ll end up alone … playing the role of someone in control.

(“Lost Realist” Lyrics Adapted)

Well? What are you waiting for? Grab yourself a chisel, Michelangelo, and get to carving! The YOU who is waiting for YOU to reveal YOU to the world is waiting for YOU to start playing the part of found realist TODAY! Oh, and by the way?

YOU … ARE … A MASTERPIECE!

Oh, yah, and HAPPY 56TH BIRTHDAY to me, me, me, me, Jean-Claude Van DAMN masterfully, albeit somewhat agonizingly designed and SCULPTED me! I’m widowed, retired, empty-nested, locked, loaded, and finally ready to go back into humanity and let the unsuspecting world and anyone brave enough to stand in the line of the darkest, brightest burning ball of fire I’ve forged MYSELF to be either catch my glow or see themselves in the mirror of my divinely punctuated Light, toils, traumas, and TRUTHS! And by the way? NOTHING divides my faith!

🖤

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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AUGUST 8, 2026: “The Unknown Soldiers!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

Twenty years ago today, Breaking Benjamin released this song with the birth of its mother album, “Phobia“. I’ve since pondered the meaning of this literal masterpiece, but finally settled upon it being an interpretation of what it’s like living with a mental illness in the wake of trauma of any kind. In my case, specifically, I’ve likened it to the battlefield of my father’s psychologically abusive warfare and the eggshells our family has been forced to tiptoe around on a daily basis. So, yeah, the scene at this family dinner table pretty much sums up the entirety of my childhood. With that, I would now like to offer up this ‘lil nuggie on behalf of every “unknown soldier” out there like me and my daughter—people who, through no choice of their own, were forced to step into the ring with their own effing parents and lived to tell about it:

Hey! YOU! All you ‘lil wrecking ball “parents” out there with “dinner tables” like this who think their kids AREN’T gonna either:

(a) End up in lifelong therapy;
(b) End up with a rip-roaring mental illness;
(c) End up hating and making cryptic posts like this about you;
(d) End up completely SEVERING you from their lives; or
(e) ALL OF THE ABOVE!

DO BETTER, YA JEAN-CLAUDE VAN DAMN EFFING JACKWAD! If, however, you either can’t do better or simply refuse to even try because it makes you feel like a much more powerful human being thing than you actually are, then don’t you DARE ever let any of us Unknown Soldiers out here catch you crying yer “Oh, poor me! Nobody loves me … not even my own kids!” effing eyes out! It was never ANY of our responsibilities to become the living bandages to soak up the blood you’ve let from the cuts you never healed from. Capiche? K, bye now!

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JULY 22, 2026: “A Few Good Men!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

Few are the men I could honestly say are or were truly good men. My paternal Grandfather and his namesake, my cousin Ernie (better known to me and all as “The General“), top the list of the fewer than two handfuls I’ve kept in that category for years:

His father, Ernie, was one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever known. He was loving and kind, caring and thoughtful, and all about his family. The man was a saint by even the harshest standards, and I’d be hard-pressed to find a single shortcoming in his character. In the 18 years I knew him, I never once heard him raise his voice or a fist, and never once heard him speak an unkind word about another. Which is not to say that he never ever said them; it’s just that if he did, he never let his impressionable grandchildren see it. To this day I smile when I remember the “worst word” I ever heard him say: “Garl darnit!” This was his version of profanity, and it took a fair amount of anger or frustration to get him there. My Grandpa was the polar opposite of any man I’d ever known until the day I met my late husband, but I’ll get to that much later. Suffice it to say, my beautiful Grandpa was and remains one of the brightest stars that has led my pathway from the sky. His legacy is one of love and kindness, and the memories he left are unsoiled in my mind. Of course, he was but a mortal man, and with that, it’s certain that like all of us, he’d had his moments, grievances, “grudges,” and maybe even “yelling, screaming and profanity.” As any good man and father should have, however, he was wise enough to shield the younger eyes that were watching and ears that were listening from anything less than impeccable words. Little did I know that he’d set the bar by which I’d judge all men impossibly high, and that it would be years before I understood why.
(“Phoenix Rising“)

Meanwhile … CUE the arrival of my “number Five” kid, the young man who’s captured my daughter’s heart and made it to the very top of my list. For reasons I can’t really say, it became clear to me fairly early in their relationship that he … is … THE ONE FOR HER! [SEE ALSO :: “The Day Of The Lululemon Zippy Jacket” … a story that shall remain between Abd, my daughter, and me.]

And so, with that, I would like to wish my “Number Five” child (in order of appearance in my atmosphere) a very Happy 23rd Birthday today! Abdil-Rhaman, there are no words to express how thankful I am that you showed up for our girl at the precipice of her either “falling backwards” into the abyss of all she’d been prior to “August 31, 2023” or “pushing forward” into every beautiful thing life has in store for not just her, but me as well because of YOU. I love you, kiddo, and so would have my Grandpa! Though you’ve yet to meet The General, when that day comes, I know he’ll love you, too. With that, and in keeping with the tribute my cousin made to my Grandpa years ago, here’s my tribute to you:

A REMARKABLE MAN, MY NUMBER FIVE: As a teenager, he left behind all he knew about life back in Jordan to seek the promise of the USA. He had only his determination, integrity, and a pocket full of dreams to lean on when that plane touched American soil, but that was more than enough upon which to build a future for not just himself, but his family, which thankfully now includes not just my daughter, but all of us! Because of his example, his values and his love, I’ll get to witness my daughter living out a fairy tale that most girls will never truly know! The attached photo is of what I wish could have really happened … that is … his having gotten to hang out with my beloved Grandfather and one of my favorite humans, my cousin Ernie!

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JULY 18, 2026: “When HER Seasons Change!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

There are seasons in a mother’s life when loving her daughter means holding on, and there are seasons when it means opening her hands. Gia is standing at the edge of one of hers, and I am learning that my job is not to hand her every answer – or every wound I inherited – but to remind her what belongs to her and what never did.

May she inherit the love, the strength, the humor, the stubborn hope, and every beautiful thing that came before her. But the chains? Those end with me. My daughter gets the crown. She gets the freedom to become. And when HER seasons change, I hope she remembers that becoming is not a betrayal of who she was; it is the fulfillment of who she has always been.

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JULY 14, 2026: “Bee Nice To Bugs!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

“Faces” …

Teeny, tiny, ‘lil bug-eyed FACES!

In my humble opinion, macro photography and videography of insects are among THE most important windows into the animal kingdom, and what better day to acknowledge that than on “National Be Nice To Bugs Day“! Not only are they beyond useful in scientific study and identification, but they allow us laypeople to truly connect with—and marvel at—the magnificent little beasts that live above, below, and all around us.

I’ve often said that “if we could just put a face with it, we can overcome it,” because when we can’t “see it” with our naked eyes, we all too often fear, abhor, and misunderstand it—not unlike the other nameless, faceless, and invisible “monsters” in our lives. I once wrote these words in my “Diary” about my former battle with mental illness and my now-lifelong advocacy in the wake of my late husband’s suicide after his heartbreaking war with it:

“It was so much easier to kill the monsters living in my head once I could see all their faces.”
(“Faces”)

… and such is my newfound appreciation and affection for all the creepy, crawly, googly-eyed little creatures that once haunted me as both a child AND an adult. The closer I look, the less monstrous they become—and the more extraordinary. Maybe that’s the lesson hiding in those tiny faces: understanding has a funny way of shrinking fear.

Thank you SO much, Malbafont Macrophotography, for your tireless and tedious work. Yours was the very first work to open my eyes to the pure magic “above and below us” and put my fear of “bugs” to rest!

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JULY 6, 2026: “In The Eye Of A LEGACY!”

The Diary Of My Perfection

I must admit, it took me some time to find the right words to honor this post by the man today. After quite a bit of processing, however, here’s what I’ve come up with …

Of all the words he’s ever said, sung, or written, for me these may be the most powerful yet. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: he’s a tuning fork of cosmic alchemy, being used by The Powers That Be to crack open the hearts of anyone in his atmosphere—whether we’re watching him rip his soul open onstage and spill it onto the floor, or simply listening to the songs that have helped so many of us find the broken pieces of ourselves scattered across our own floors. He’s not just leaving a legacy … he’s helping so many of us find the words, energy, and courage to write our own.

2 Kings 3:15 over the eye of a storm.

Yah. It’s like THAT! There are no words big enough to describe how deeply I love this man for who he is. Ivan, I’ll be eternally grateful for everything you’ve done for not just me, but for the entirety of your faithful and beloved Death Punch family.

Oh, and one last thing …

To my kids, their kids, and hopefully even their kids one day: PLEASE listen to everything he’s saying here. Then turn those sentiments back toward your own hearts and hear them as my words to all of you. I love you! ~ Momma

Eye of the storm quote about legacy by The Real Cat Williamson.
About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JUNE 20, 2026: “(This Is A Post ‘Bout Somebody Else)!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

If you know, you KNOW … and by the way, I know you’re stalking this Diary! So, have a nice day all alone on the island you’ve built just for YOU tomorrow, and cheers to me for having a big fat yellow onion on hand at any given time so I can make myself “cry” when this war you created is finally over! Sorry. NOT sorry! Good job, bruh!

🖤

By the way, this same sentiment applies to all you “things with wombs” running around out there who went and sledgehammered those cradles you were supposed to rock and either physically or psychologically FUCKED your babies to their graves. Got it? GOOD!

HAPPY FATHER’S DAY to all the rest of you!

“The GOLDEN Ticket!”

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JUNE 19, 2026: “Leaving The Castle (AND All The Rest)” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

🐸 517 days have passed since we vacated The Castle in favor of a much more mentally wealthy place for us to think, breathe, live and exist … free from the memories of the literal Hell you reigned down upon us in your twisted-beyond-belief brokenness, sick as you may have been … until we were finally ready to let it go and hand over the keys to another family, who will hopefully be able to fill it with love, laughter, joy and happiness—and write a much better ending to their own fairytale. In the meantime …

“Now the time’s come to forget the wrong that you’ve done and hold on to the reasons you are truly missed. I don’t resent you, and when I’m feeling empty, I’ll keep you in my memory and leave out all the rest.”

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JUNE 19, 2026: “Empire Of Ashes” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

… and now, a cryptic word from our sponsor on THIS most illustrious of days … “National GRUDGE Day“, which message, by the way, needs no further dissertation. ENJOY!

🎶

I see your need … your greed … your disease. You’d crush the world just to hold it in your hand. So, take your place in the kingdom you to crave. You’ll destroy it all ’til there’s nothing left to save.

Who’s gonna save a soul that never had a heart? So, you can say your prayers, it won’t redeem your past. Bury the truth ’til the Earth begins to break. You’ll destroy them all ’til there’s no one left to hate.

Tell me now, do you feel the weight of your crown? Of all the lives you take? Was it worth the price they paid to sit alone and watch your throne decay?

I see the world burn in your eyes! Scorch the Earth tonight!Bring the world down to its knees! Smash open the sky! Fire falling down like rain!

Down your kingdom crashes … all alone in your empire of ashes!

Bye everyone, it’s me, CAT!

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JUNE 13, 2026: “The Net Force!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

Well, folks, June is Men’s Health Month once again. Oh, how I love it and hate it at the same time, especially because on a day like this, all I can think about is the mental warfare that must have been happening in my husband’s fucked-up-beyond-recognition, broken mind in the very last moments before he ended his own life. The conversation he must have been having with both God and the devil who’d taken up residence in his body may very well have sounded something like this:

Tellin’ myself it’s the last time. Can you spare any mercy that you might find if I’m down on my knees again? Deep down, way down, Lord, I try to follow Your Light, but it’s nighttime, Please, don’t leave me in the end. Oh, there’s darkness in the distance … I’m begging for forgiveness. Oh, but I know I might resist it! Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time. You and I drink the poison from the same vine. Oh, I love it and I hate it at the same time … hidin’ all of our sins from the daylight. From the daylight … runnin’ from the daylight.

Truth be told, though he was, indeed, the consummate loner whom the good Dr. Peterson spoke of above when I found him, in my heart of hearts I know that I did everything in my power to build him up into the magical Superman he became during our season together, despite his “mommy issues.”

With that, please let me implore you all once again that although a man’s mental-health journey begins long before adulthood, we should protect that journey in our homes, too:

In all honesty, I’ve been on both sides of the “how to treat your man” coin, and admittedly—and ashamedly—have not always offered “king treatment” to the men who were in my halo. Although I always strive to live with no regrets, I’d be lying if I said that I don’t often look back at the many ways I failed as a queen, failed to “build him up,” actively “broke him down,” and was another war he faced when he stepped over the threshold of our home. By the way, in case you didn’t know this already, June is Men’s Health Month—and that absolutely includes men’s mental health. If there is a man in your life, be it a husband, son, brother, or even just a friend, please remember not to forget that “men have feelings, too“.
(“The Crowning”)

If you have a man of any age living in your home today, please remember that, yes, they do have feelings, too. Treat them kindly, give credit when it’s due, and for God’s actual sake, be impeccable with all your words. Whether you want to believe it or not, it’s a pretty tough gig out there for those among us born with a penis. Sorry, NOT sorry to be so frank. Bye everyone, it’s me, Cat.

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JUNE 1, 2026: “Hush Little Baby, Don’t Say A Word!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

It’s “World Narcissistic Abuse Day” once again, and perhaps the best way for me to memorialize my thoughts is to reiterate ones I had on this day three years ago:

… for me, growing up felt mostly like constantly falling out of a bloodied and blackened sky as a million tiny shards of glass. My parents had all of my pieces in their hands, but courtesy of their own toxic childhoods, were unable to see or catch my scattered pieces, much less put them back together. Lol. “Generational trauma” … the gift that just keeps on giving. As a result, I was given no choice but to find a way to pick up, make sense of, and mend my shards alone.
(“The Shardsman, The Hammer & The Glue” … from The Diary Of My Perfection) 

With that, and again to all you walking trash bags out there reading this right now who reproduced before getting your broken pieces in order such that your cuts ended up bleeding out onto your babies, here’s a ‘lil nugget for you to chew on while you’re still alive … Why not at least try to find a way to give your “loved ones” (lol) a reason to cry at your funeral instead of having to sit up in the front row feeling awkward as holy FUCK while the people sitting behind them are wondering, “Who da fuck doesn’t cry at their own parent’s funeral?”
(“Cutting The Cord“)

… and so, with that, I say to you THIS:

Get yourself into therapy all you “mom things” runnin’ around out there flipping over them cradles you were entrusted with! For Christ’s actual sake, have yourself exorcised, if necessary, all you malignant excuses for “dads” out there breaking human souls for sport such that they end up choking on the endless stream of sugary piss water YOU brought home for their mothers to serve!

Just … do … SOMETHING to heal your damn self before it’s too late, because your kids never asked to be born or signed up for a lifetime of your fucked up beyond comprehension “parenting“. They deserve so much better than having the people who brought them into all this bullshit bleeding their open wounds all over their innocence and childhood! Dare I say that THE worst prison in the world is a childhood “home” filled with parents who are at war with themselves. Don’t sentence your kids to one!

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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MAY 28, 2026: “Catherine In Wonderland!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

Walt Whitman once said,

“If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wanders”.

Well, if that’s true, it would seem as though I’m only ever anywhere but “here”. I mean, am I “present” when I need to be and “in the moment” when I’m with my loved ones, animals, and responsibilities? You bet, I am. The rest of the time, however, I’m flipping back to all the best parts of my journey … like all the times I’ve been blessed enough to gaze upon gothic cathedrals, castles, cobblestones, and every other epic place I’ve wandered through … in this life and all the others … and dreaming ahead to all the places I’ve yet to see. I’m like … “Real Cat In Wonderland” just Peter Panning my way through THIS spin around the marble and marveling at all the epic wonders that are tattooed across my heart, mind, and soul. It doesn’t suck to be me, by the way. It’s a charmed and whimsical life I live in the space between my ears, and I wouldn’t want to live in anyone else’s head but my own … “crazy” and “nonsensical” as it may be. Just sayin’.

What are some your heart wanders off to? Leave a comment and let me know!

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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MAY 17, 2026: “5:47pm, And Cinderella Has Left The Castle” …

The Diary Of My Perfection
Cinderella-inspired memorial artwork marking 5:47 PM on May 17, 2026, the moment Gia left home.
“Oh, I danced with Cinderella! I didn’t miss even one song. Then all too soon the clock did strike midnight, and she … was … gone!”

Meanwhile, although I’m going to drop this here tonight, I’ll have to circle back around to the words I’ll need to properly memorialize this bittersweet day my nest officially emptied. I knew this day was fast approaching. I just didn’t know it would actually be this soon.

How ironic is it that only hours ago I dropped a comment on a fellow squirrel mom’s post about her preparing to slowly begin letting go of her rehabbed fur babies?

Granted, and as you can see from my Life360 screenshot, she’s only 3.5 miles away.

Life360 screenshot from May 17, 2026, marking 5:47 PM and showing Gia 3.5 miles from home.

But nevertheless …

the clock has indeed struck midnight for this widowed and now empty-nested momma.

Here’s to the next open pages and chapters for us to write in separate—but also very much not separated—castles.

As for now, I think I’m going to allow myself to sob myself to sleep uncontrollably … because even though this is the way it’s always supposed to be, that doesn’t mean it can’t rip my actual heart out momentarily.

Goodnight everyone, it’s me, CAT!

Gia on a country road at sunset, with a distant castle behind her, symbolizing a new chapter after leaving home.

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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MAY 15, 2026: “Slacktivism!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

“Thoughts and prayers.”

… but let me ask you THIS?

DO you actually? Pray, that is?

Be Impeccable With Your Word placard from The Four Agreements series.

If you write or say the words, “thoughts and prayers,” PLEASE actually think about this shit and pray. Let your words, thoughts, and deeds MEAN something, whether or not you ever get to see the fruits of them.

Look, I’m not claiming to have all the answers, people. But although I do have quite a bit more than just a mustard seed of deaf, dumb, blind, and possibly even “pointless” faith, what I do know for a fact is that nothing bad has ever happened to me as the result of hitting my knees like the 5-year-old FAVORITE daughter of God at the foot of this divinely punctuated and never-forsaken “panic chair” that has seen far too many heartaches, joys, triumphs, pleas for mercy, and endless tears of gratitude to count.

Win, lose, or draw, the world news these days does its best to keep me on an effing roller coaster of the highest highs and lowest lows. So? Imma just keep on keepin’ it REAL and make my intentions as bold and impeccable as possible, considering my otherwise innately putrid human condition.

I mean, what’s the worst thing that can happen, right?

There’s either Someone listening …

… OR there’s not …

… and just like Pascal said, there’s a 50/50 chance that Someone IS.

I’d rather err on the side of caution … JUST IN CASE!

For the record—and lest I remind you—yes, we do all die young, relatively speaking, especially considering the bittersweet fact that we start dying the second we are born.

Memento mori clock with a candle, skull, and antique books in a dark candlelit still life.

So say what you mean.

Mean what you say.

THINK about your thoughts.

And make every moment in between really count.

Just SAYIN’!

Oh, and ONE last thing …

I may be a little late to the Horizon Theory music party—but I’M HERE TO EFFING STAY! If you don’t already know this band, do yourself a favor and give them a listen and a follow. Keep on keepin’ THAT shit real, Josh!

  • If you write or say the words ‘thoughts and prayers,’ please actually think about this shit and pray.
  • There’s either Someone listening, or there’s not. I’d rather err on the side of caution, just in case.
  • Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Think about your thoughts, and make every moment in between really count.
About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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MAY 10, 2026: “Dear Moms: YOU Can ‘See’ You, Too!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection
(Voiceover Credit To “Sharny And Julius“)

Besides, nothing I’ve ever been, done, or given for them has been a sacrifice. Being their mother is what I was created to be, and I don’t need a Macy’s Day Parade thrown in my honor to feel honored! Guess what, folks? I have, can, and will continue to bestow that seemingly elusive recognition upon myself like only a true queen can by continuing to walk in my “Power + Grace”! It’s who I am and what I was built for!
(“Apples & Martyrs“)
… and so, with that I lovingly remind all you unsung heroes and “unseen” mommas out there, perhaps even “alone” on this Mother’s Day 2027:

Yes! Yes, you CAN! You CAN “see yourself” for all the things—big and small—that you’ve been, done, given, and sacrificed for the sake of not just your babies, but so many others along the way. Sing your own praises today and ALWAYS! Whether or not anyone else ever noticed, acknowledged, or celebrated you as the true GIFT to humanity you are, bask in the light that adorns your head like a halo atop one of THE most powerful forces on Earth. The rest of your sisters “In The Hood“—seen and unseen, heard and unheard, known and unknown—know the truth of who you are and what you’ve given to everyone who has been in your care, including the children you’ve mothered who never came from your womb. And your God “sees” you, too. One sweet day, we’ll all walk arm in arm as we finally get to meet Him and lay our beautiful tiaras at His feet. “Well done,” He’ll say … mistakes included.

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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APRIL 28, 2026: “GOOD Luck BLOOMS!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

🖤

Na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na.
Na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na.
Na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na.
Na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na.
Na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na.
Na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na.

🖤

“But maybe all the days that cut so deep … and maybe all the pain that no one sees? They’re all my scars, my GOOD luck to keep … and you can’t take that from me!”

🖤

Up until a certain point, I really had “spent all my life wondering why the bad luck always came so easy”, ever so painfully aware that the worst things in life really did appear to be free. Then one day I opened my eyes, stood back up, picked up my bloodied sword and scratched, dented, and exquisite tiara off the ground, and walked out of the ashes like the risen QUEEN I have become!

So much love to my son, Christian, and his WIFE, my beautiful daughter-in-law, Alexandra! Cheers to the beginning of an extraordinary new BLOOM on both our family trees!
(“With Love From Italy!)

As LUCK would have it, all those days that cut so deep and pain that no one sees? They’re all MY scars and GOOD luck to keep, and no one can ever take them from me! They’re out loud and living proof through my children that we’re all still alive and well here to talk, laugh, cry, support one another, and sometimes even rage about our former lives in the once ass-backwards and crumbling “empire” that was laid out before us all in this shit show of a “family”. The pain was our lesson to learn and let go so we can make new paths of our own, one bold step at a time. Pray God!

“With Love, From Italy!”

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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APRIL 26, 2026: “When In Rome” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

… because you know you’ve done at least one thing right when you’ve raised a boy into a man who “when in Rome” on a highly secretive special ops mission with his beloved … while tracing the footsteps of our great, great, great, GREAT “Uncle Marcus” (Aurelius) and countless other survivor ancestors in the shadow of the epicenter of what I believe is the most important living symbol of the rise and fall of civilizations, military strategy, and civic administration … stops … to take time … to notice a frigging CROW! 

THAT’S my son, friends, and he is his mother’s child! Despite his kinda rough and tumble appearance and how he’s decided to build his own empire, has the heart and soul of a true animal-loving empath that runs far deeper than any human eye will ever see or mind will fully conceptualize. Oh, and by the way? I MADE HIM! Just thought I’d share. Bye everyone, it’s me, CAT!!

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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MARCH 22, 2026: “The ‘Bits & Pieces’ Cloisonné!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

One year ago today, Daughtry released this most powerful tribute to what I believe is the most beautiful form of human existence there is:

“BROKEN INTO PIECES!”

Meanwhile, can I just tell you about this vase you see pictured here? My beautiful Mother gifted it to me from The Smithsonian Store catalog over thirty years ago, and it’s been one of my most prized possessions ever since. If you didn’t already know, “cloisonné” is a decorative art form in which thin metal wires are applied to a metal base to create little compartments, which are then filled with colored enamel and fired to form intricate, shiny designs. The reflective metal becomes part of the picture itself, woven between all that color. It’s a mosaic MASTERPIECE … kinda like ME:

None of you will EVER know what really lies beneath my surface, what you’d find there, or how much it’s REALLY worth! When I’m losing ground now, I don’t get nervous, ’cause I know there’s only so much I can control! Oh! But even with all the cracks in the mirror, my reflection couldn’t BE any clearer. I’ve GOTTEN to learn to cope … even at the end of my ropes … while doing the best that I can to live with the broken pieces of me that were shattered! I can’t stop the bleeding that I’ll never “get over”, and it was, indeed, hard to move on, but I’m living to LOVE all the pieces of me! I’ll NEVER know who’s coming for me into the storm without a warning, and like the cold of the morning, oh, how it will cut straight to the bone again. But it was the silence in the battle that made me no longer afraid of my own shadow. Now, I simply reach for hope when I’m at the end of all my ropes and just do the very best that I can. I can’t change the past, so I HAD to let go to learn how to live with these holes in my soul.

Dear GOD, I really am the luckiest girl on this Earth and surely Your most FAVORITE daughter! Thank You for breaking me over and over and over. There’s LITERAL gold woven in between all the pieces that are ME. Just sayin’!

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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FEBRUARY 19, 2026: “Famous Last Words” …

The Diary Of My Perfection
“The funny thing about facing imminent death is that it really snaps everything else into perspective.”
~ James Patterson ~

This bittersweet and powerful Netflix Famous Last Words interview of Eric Dane, featuring a final message to his daughters, was meant to be released and aired after his passing from a battle with ALS.

Well?

Sadly, he did, indeed, pass today.

Ugh.

Look, if you know anything about me by now, you know that I’m a ball of sometimes extremely polarizing emotions that I wear out loud and either proud or not so proud on my sleeves.

And if you know me even better than well, then you know that while it doesn’t take much to bring tears to my eyes—especially when it comes to tender, sweet, and bittersweet moments involving my children and animals—getting me to cry tears of actual pain and suffering is becoming harder and harder as the days pass by.

Perhaps I’m numb.

Perhaps I’m not even alive anymore and I’m just a vagabond soul with a disheveled shell and really questionable, err, “outfits.”

These “famous last words,” however, literally wrench my soul. It took me all of about 120 milliseconds to drop them here in the Diary—which is, by the way, nothing more or less than a virtual love letter to my babies … and their babies … and their babies.

I’m not gonna lie: I never watched the show he was on, wasn’t a fan because I didn’t know his work, and didn’t know a thing about him.

Lol.

I was “yesterday years old” when I realized he was that “Dr. McSteamy” I’ve oft heard about from other women.

What I do know, however, is that he was a husband and a father, and these final words to HIS babies are impeccable.

Godspeed, Mr. D.

Godspeed.

Black-and-white tribute poster for Eric Dane’s Famous Last Words documentary.

Memorial artwork asking what you would do if you knew you had ten minutes to live, paired with a cross, Bible, lily, and the number 365.

Starry black-and-white memorial journal artwork with a cross, white lily, and the words about writing in case tomorrow never comes.

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FEBRUARY 7, 2026: “Back Home To The Son” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

Each day that passes is drawing me closer to something spinning hopelessly out of control. My day of reckoning is fast approaching and may be just around the corner. I can feel the ripples just beneath my skin as my realities are boiling to the surface. The unrelenting knot in the pit of my stomach and heart is getting tighter with each day that passes and it’s getting harder for me to breath. I am shaking, anxious, and, oh, yeah, a total fraud!  Just up ahead, I think I can see the front of the proverbial bridge, but how can I make my legs actually move across it? If I actually make it across, what there will I find? Are there secrets about myself and even my “seemingly perfect childhood” that are still yet for me to discover? We shall see. Dearest Catherine, “Queen OfPerfection”, surely you can perfect this dance?
(“The Real Life” … April 8, 2008)

Well, then how about an angel? Can You send me another angel? Preferably one who’s more than two feet tall and older and wiser than 15? Someone I can talk to. Someone who will listen. Someone who wants to hear what I have to say. Someone to hold me and remind me that I’m alive. Someone who will look beyond my surface and find the broken little girl hiding inside my soul. Someone who doesn’t think I’m whining, or dramatic, ungrateful, and pathetic. Someone who doesn’t think I’m just a crazy fucking bitch, or that all the “things” I have should preclude me from feeling pain. Someone who’ll accept my broken heart and all my darkness and not hold “me” over my head. I NEED A HUG! Can You send me a hug? Or a kiss? Or a touch? Will anyone ever want to touch me? My perfection is a grand illusion and I the master illusionist! YOU AND I BOTH KNOW IT’S TRUE. I’m wandering aimlessly here, God, behind the walls of my beautiful castle, with my hands pressed hard against the windows. I’m still looking for that sign, and I still believe there’s a chance. Hey, I’m leaving for France tomorrow. Maybe I can just leave some of my baggage there?
(“Away From The Son” … May 30, 2008)

… and, in the spirit of keeping accurate, sound, and truthful accounting records of my life, I misspoke. June 28, 2008, was the first time I’d heard of either 3 Doors Down OR the song “The Real Life.” Although I’d written my “Hey, God? It’s me, Cat” letter on May 30, 2008 — just a month before running away to France — when I first heard “The Real Life,” I later went back and paired “Away From The Sun” with that Diary entry. Either way, this man, this band, and his multitude of powerful lyrics and beyond-faithful testimony are, indeed, why I’m still hanging on here today.

🖤

Dear Brad,

Well, you’ve done it, man. It’s your time. You’ve made it back Home, CLOSE to The Son! Now, we’d love for YOU to keep US lifted up in prayer every chance you get. GOD loves you … WE loved you … SEE YA!

~ The Real Cat Williamson ~

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JANUARY 11, 2026: “22” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

Dear Diary (and Subscribers):

Unfortunately, I simply didn’t have the bandwidth to write something “fresh and new” for Gina Marie’s 22nd birthday. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t having a really, really, really hard time these days. This is the first of all her birthdays when I’ve missed a beat so completely that I don’t even have a basket ready to take to her grave. Truthfully, I’m not sure I’m going to her grave today. I am not a “steel magnolia” at the moment. I am beyond fragile, especially as I sit here writing while the familiar “January 11th” waves crash over me again. I know this feeling will pass. I know that because it always has. But right now, I am letting myself be exactly where I am.

JANUARY 11, 2004: “Hello, Goodbye” …

“When In Rome”

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JANUARY 3, 2026: “Craig” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

To My Grands

(… even though you’re not even here yet):

“I’m writing this in case I’m gone tomorrow“, because although you may have never met me, I want you to know that these are the kind of things that brightened up my greys and mattered to me the most. They’re amongst the many Earthen treasures “I’ve borrowed” (as they were never mine to keep in the first place), so, I’m sharing them with you in this “virtual love letter” I’ve been writing to you for years now. I hope you’ll enjoy reading about not just him, but the many other beautiful beings I’ve truly loved, enjoyed, cherished, and admired along the way. And remember … “Animals are people, too”!

Craig was an Amboseli National Park legend, one of Africa’s last great super tuskers, and one of the most photographed elephants in the world. He was known world-wide for his magnificent, ground-sweeping tusks, and calm, majestic presence, and lived a long, protected life before passing away of natural causes today. His legacy will live on through his calves, beloved caretakers, all who were lucky enough to witness him in person, and everyone else like me who had the privilege of getting to know him through social media.

A Kenyan elephant believed to have been one of Africa’s largest male tuskers has died of old age. The pachyderm, fondly known as Craig, died of natural causes on Saturday morning at Amboseli National Park in southern Kenya, conservationists confirmed. “Craig had just turned 54 years old. He led a long life and no doubt fathered many calves,” said the Amboseli Trust for Elephants in its farewell message. Famed for his long tusks, Craig the elephant was a major attraction at the park near the Tanzanian border. In 2021, he was named an ambassador for the popular Kenyan lager brand Tusker – a name also used for adult male elephants with tusks. The Kenya Wildlife Service described Craig as an “icon” of successful conservation.
(BBC.com)

“The Fall Of A Gentle Giant”

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JANUARY 2, 2026: “Me, The OTHER Me & Our EPICALLY Flawed Design!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

In honor of “World Introvert Day” today, please allow me to once again remind you of what an epic level WEIRDO of “flawed design” MAGNIFICENCE you have floating about your atmosphere …

me:

“I’m an introverted extroverted INFJ enigma! I don’t like drama, conflict, chaos, or stress-filled places, and I don’t need too many friends! I just want to linger AT MY DISCRETION in calm and peaceful spaces with a FEW good people who are authentic, REAL, trustworthy, safe, and understand that sometimes I’ll just BOLT! I want simplicity, warmth, love, and people, places, and things that feed and heal my soul.”

also me:

… but MOSTLY me:

To know me is to love me or sometimes even hate me. Wait! Scratch that! To know me is to love me … or hate me … and only think you know me, but no, you actually don’t, ’cause for Christ’s actual sake, NO ONE really does (sometimes not even me), and also, I don’t really give two FUCKS whether you love me or hate me ’cause I LOVE ME enough for both of us! Bye everyone, it’s me, CAT!

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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DECEMBER 31, 2025: “My Monsters Are REAL!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

Not only are my monsters real, indeed, and trained oh, so very well, I’m not sitting here trying to fool anyone into believing they’re not right beneath my skin and pulsing through my bones. Am I proud of them? NOPE! But am I fucking proud that I am NOT like the mass of “others” walking the face of this planet wearing “sparkly, shiny, beautiful ” masks and disguises? YOU BET YOUR EFFING ASS I AM!

Me, myself, and all my pets have found THE safest home we will possibly ever know in this sanctuary I call “I”! As a matter of fact, we’ve even hung pictures and curtains in here and decorated with flowers and skulls! Besides, we don’t ever fall in love with people because they’re “good”, now do we? No! We only ever truly fall in love with people whose monsters from the dark side we can clearly see, recognize, and even walk beside of as they’re taking them out for a stroll. So, as for now, I guess I’ll just have to keep on loving all of me … the good, the bad, and the ugly! Guess what, people? IT’S ALLOWED! Happy Birthday, Sir Anthony, by the way, and shout out to this epic song that has become the voice of so many of the voiceless adult children who grew up in haunted houses and no fucking clue as to how to go about repairing the shattered MESS their parents left scattered across their floors.

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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DECEMBER 22, 2025: “FLOWERING (From The Inside)!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

me:
“It’s turning out great, right? My homemade ‘kitchen flowers’ make me so happy every week!”

her:
“It’s really pretty this time, mom. Plus, it’s hydrangeas AND lilies, BOTH our favorites! But I have a question. Daddy always sends you flowers, so why do you need to buy your own?”

me (heart SWELLING):
“Because, daughter, WHY NOT? I decided years ago to stop waiting for the world and people in it to “bring me my happy” and get out there and start bringing it to MYSELF! It’s especially important for moms to treat themselves kindly when they can, because it’s a very hard job and sometimes the things moms do and give tend to go unnoticed or unrecognized, often unintentionally. Life happens and people get busy—ESPECIALLY most daddies—so moms have to remember to appreciate and value themselves regardless of who else remembers. You’ll always be able to make and find your OWN joy in life, as long as you’re willing to search for it. So, I want you to promise me that when you grow up you’ll treat YOURSELF to flowers often … because … YOU CAN and you DESERVE IT!”

her:
“Mommy? I am SO gonna do that AND have this same talk with your granddaughters one day! We’ll start a trend in our family called ‘get yourself some flowers, girl’!”

me:
“You just made my day, Gia! I’ve been WAITING for you to notice that I buy myself flowers and finally ask me why! Now that you know, I really, REALLY hope that someday when you have a house of your own and I stop by to visit I’ll see ‘homemade kitchen flowers’ on your counter from YOU to YOU!”

(“The Day Of The Homemade Kitchen Flowers“)

🌸

… fast forward to today:

YES, her Prince Charming brings her flowers constantly … but YES, she either buys or picks them for herself, too … and YES, making sure there are fresh flowers on my kitchen counter at all times will always be one of my favorite and most powerful mental wealth hacks and ways to continue “stealing The Sun from the sky” and staying in perpetual flight!

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DECEMBER 14, 2025: “Born Yesterday!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

… and that was the day I met the first, last, and only man I’d ever truly love for the rest of my days on this Earth …. to infinity and beyond … and The Moon and back.

In the meantime …

“If you ask me, he’s walked on water since before he could talk. One look at him, and I forget the miles he drove me up a wall! Each first day, ’til he was driving, I’d see him off and start to cry. Even though he’s all grown up, some things never change. Every time that he falls down, I’ll be there to carry the weight. If you ask me, he’s done made it. I swear he’s a superstar! To me, those AK’s that he’s making might as well be Fenway Park! I love to tell my friends about him and show ’em pictures on my phone. I’d say that my favorite one is the day I brought him home. I’ve bent God’s ear for him until it breaks, and any time he goes through hell, yeah, I’ll gladly take his place. Yes, I still dream for him … pray for him … want more than the whole world for him … forget all the hell he ever raised! I only ever see him one way … like he was born yesterday.”

{… Eric Burgett Lyrics Adapted}

[DISCLAIMER]:

Unlike the lyrics to this song, however, my son has never really “driven me up a wall or put me through that much hell”. He’s been an absolute JOY to raise. Truth being told, he’s my doppelgänger, and win, lose, or draw, and come hell or highest of waters, to know us is to love us, but we are who we are and make no apologies for it! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Christian Peter! Momma loves you! Thirty-three years ago LITERALLY to the second this is being posted, you were “born yesterday”! Keep working on your Fenway Park, by the way! Momma’s got your six all the while! Actually? No! I have your entire CLOCK!

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
A dark-haired woman facing a dragon-like creature in a gothic fairy-tale scene for Cat V. The Creature.
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DECEMBER 6, 2025: “Cat V. The Creature [(ps) … Cat WINS!]!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection
The Real Cat Williamson’s original Mirror Mirror sketch, displayed on aged paper under a warm spotlight.

We want everybody to be safe out there because we are getting reports of … it’s going around! It’s eating people’s faces and souls! He’s a crazy creature!

One year ago today, Sick Puppies released what I believe to be their most powerful song since “White Balloons“, “Odd One“, and “Creatures“. With that, I feel it only fitting that we take a good, hard look at these impeccably written lyrics:

PAIN! It’s come alive! It’s pouring out of my veins! I’m drifting in and out, turning insane. At the edge … I’ve kept it in until now … I’m afraid it’s too late! I feel it coming out!

STOP! Before I take your mother fuckin’ head off! I’m seeing shit that I don’t wanna speak of! Bottled up everything up until now. This is it! Fuse is lit! So, get the hell out!
Rage that won’t subside … eating me alive … look into my eyes … I’ll scream until I spit blood! I would stop myself if I could! Get away! It’s too late! I’m changing!

Oh my God, what have I done? I can’t believe what I’ve become! I can’t stop hurting everyone! What’s this creature I’ve become?

Far be it from me to break the news to ya, my friend, but this “creature” you’ve become can look an awful lot like the living embodiment of emotional dysregulation: difficulty managing your emotions and the way you react to them, which in turn can lead to extreme or inappropriate outbursts. It’s not a diagnosis, by the way, but rather a description of how our emotions are managed—or, should I say, MISmanaged.

A person’s inability to regulate emotions can, however, show up alongside a number of mental health conditions. Do you have trouble calming down when you’re upset? Do you experience rapid mood swings or struggle with impulsive behaviors and thoughts? My advice? Reach out to a mental health professional. With the right help—and the willingness to face your ‘lil monster in the mirror—you CAN take it down!

“But, Cat! I can’t afford to call a mental health professional!”

YES, YOU CAN!

Just CLICK this pic:

Perhaps one of my favorite things about myself is that I haven’t become the monster I probably should have after all the trauma I’ve survived in my life. I mean, could I have used it all as an excuse to rage against humanity? Yes, I suppose so. Actually? Now that I think of it, there was a time in my life when I did! “It was kinda like a storm!” … and by “it,” I mean THE CREATURE I once WAS! One thing we all need to understand about extremely kind, nice, and loving people, however, is that their other side is just as extreme. It’s the hell they survive that makes them gentle, so don’t mistake their self-control for weakness. The beast in them is merely sleeping, not dead.

  • Friedrich Nietzsche quote about thanking the monster that did not succeed in swallowing you alive, designed with dark roses and a gothic creature motif.

“My Monsters Are REAL!”
About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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OCTOBER 31, 2025: “A Sky Full Of Bats!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, FOLKS!

Here’s hoping you either have a spookTACULAR and cozy night in with all your people (or even with just you and yourself), or a spookTACULAR and SAFE night out with all your people (or even just with you and yourself)! Okay, that’s all I got!

Bye everyone, it’s me, BAT!

(I mean, CAT!)

~ Gus Fink ~

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OCTOBER 23, 2025: “I Carry On” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

… and I can honestly say with every ounce of my shredded yet abundantly blessed human being that I wouldn’t have changed a thing. All that pain really was my greatest gift, because in case you didn’t know by now, you simply CANNOT know The Light without first having known the darkness.

By the way, my scars aren’t only beautiful, but they’re mine to keep eternally and PROOF POSITIVE that I’m still alive inside this body and mind that should be good and dead by now. I’m such a lucky woman and always grateful for all I have and all I went through just to still be sitting here “carrying on” and walking through my fears with the “Power + Grace” of the risen queen and most favorite daughter of God I’ve become. Pray God.

@TommyVext2.0
  • Pain quote poster, redesigned
About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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OCTOBER 4, 2025: “What If?” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

What if there WON’T be mercy for SOME?

Today is World Animal Day, and my question to all of you is really IS, “What if”? What IF all of this really IS just a test from The Powers That Be and ALL of the animals, no matter how big or seemingly minute and valueless are angels in disguise? Where will YOU be standing on your Final Judgement Day? At The Bridge or The Slide?

For instance …

If you abandoned, starved, and neglected an animal, will YOU be eternally “abandoned, starved, and neglected”? If you tied some helpless creature to a tree out in the backyard and just left it there with no food, water, or shelter from the freezing cold or burning Sun, will YOU be eternally tied to a tree trunk that way and forced to watch “your family” through a window all alone? If you burned animals alive, ran them over for fun, hunted, trapped, and shot holes in them for sport, or caged them for entertainment, will YOU be trapped, caged, burned alive, and shot in the head over and over and over again with no chance for reprieve or escape? Hmm? I wonder.

By the way, by no means am I saying that those THINGS that mistreat, abuse, neglect, abandon, torture and kill the helpless humans amongst us such as infants, children, the elderly, and disabled aren’t also, hopefully, and most importantly going to be avenged in that good ole “eye for an eye” fashion both The Bible and every other religious transcript speaks of, but treating other human beings humanely is a given that should just go without saying, right? But the treatment of animals? Hmm? I just can’t help but wonder!

Look, I’m a God-fearing, Jesus-loving woman who wouldn’t wish merciless “eternal harm” on any human being, but as I’ve oft said before, maybe not all of us are really even “human“. The Bible also says “they walk amongst us“, soooo. Meanwhile, here’s to all the rest of us who literally wouldn’t even hurt a fly, much less set out to torture one of God’s creatures without at least thinking about the consequences of those abhorrent actions and play Russian roulette with our souls!

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SEPTEMBER 27, 2025: “Back To The Beginning Of The Fire!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

To heal a wildflower, you must first go to her roots. To get to her roots, you have to go back to the beginning.

Let’s go back to the beginning!

(“Letters To Anna“)

Oh, to be a flower that blooms after a wildfire! “Dear Me”: Just keep blooming in a perfect circle, going forward by continually going backwards to the very beginning of the fire! Then, if as I’ve long known I truly am the most favorite and beloved daughter of this God I adore so much, they’ll never know they’re the children of a cursed woman:

But you see, the flip side of this bittersweet, double-edged sword of a living love story I’ve become is that I’ve gotten to learn the very hard way that my heart is love and my hands can rest because my soul has learned to happily exist in the blissful peace of my own solitude unless and until I decide to let anyone near me with a hammer again, much less be forced to just stand there and watch some mother fucker with a hammer continually annihilate my children.
(“The Shardsman, The Hammer & The Glue“)

Wait! Let me rephrase that: They’ll never know they’re the children of a woman who once thought she was a cursed woman. For as long as I shall live, I’ll keep shattering myself like glass, breaking every one of my bones, tearing out my heart, and scourging my own soul just to keep that that kid who lives inside of me free to bask in the glow of my own wildfires!

Breanne Randall once said,

I can dress in black and hang my head and mourn the loss of the life I longed for / or I can set it all on fire and build new dreams from the ashes / where are the matches?

So, with that, and in honor of this “Ancestor Appreciation Day“, I’m gonna keep lighting everything and one around me on fire! Here’s hoping you will, too! YOU CAN DO THIS, “ME”! I mean, really? You have no other choice! WE have to keep healing the broken little girl inside us … for THEM … and by “them” I don’t just mean the kids. I mean the strangers who walked through fires of their own so that we could find our voice!

In the meantime, pray GOD that the broken little girl who is now a part of our family finds the strength, courage, and brutal self awareness to “see herself” in the next generation of wildfires she’s now torched our family with so that she doesn’t burn and destroy my grandchildren.

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
Healing & Resilience

SEPTEMBER 25, 2025: “Oh, Poor YOU!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

That’s right … YOU HEARD ME!

YOU created the cesspool you’re drowning in, which, (ps), is making you kinda stinky! You can’t really expect to run around breaking every person, place, and thing you touch and not have to fuckin’ pay for it, now can ya? Meanwhile, “if” by chance you’re in the wake of what seems to be the war to end all wars, there are cold, dead bodies lying all around and you’re the only one left standing, perhaps it’s time to reexamine yourself, or, God forbid, examine yourself for the very first time EVER!

No one seems to like you?

Can’t hold on to relationships?

Don’t get included in family functions, ’cause …

You always RUIN family functions!?

Constantly getting fired?

Constantly in trouble with the law?

Constantly have your ‘lil ears BURNING?

People can only show up to the places where you are drunk, stoned, or otherwise highly medicated?

Welp, ya toxic ‘lil monkey …

the problem just MIGHT be YOU!

One of my favorite lines from a song of ALL times is by a band even a ginormous shithead like YOU might have heard. (It’s Def Leppard! 😉):

And then in conversation, I love the way you mention ‘nothing’s ever gone your way’ with a hammer in your hand. You spell out a master plan.

(“To Be Alive“)

YOU NEVER LEARN!

Steve Maraboli once said,

The problem that we have with a victim mentality is that we forget to see the blessings of the day. Because of this, our spirit is poisoned instead of nourished.

Lookit, your victim mentality isn’t serving you very well, so why not just go ahead and FIX IT! Own some things. Account for some things. Apologize for some things. STOP SOME THINGS! Make amends with those prolly very few people who are somehow still willing to let you in their atmosphere. Start taking responsibility for your bullshit actions and for fuck’s sake, GET INTO THERAPY!

While I’m sorry that I’m not sorry for the rough around the edges delivery here, know that I only aim to help. Yes, I know that the truth really hurts, but I am here to tell you that I, too, used to cry “victim” after the consequences of my own bullshittery. Guess what, though? I’ve lived, learned, and have since accepted the errors of all my formerly fucked up ways and all the people I broke along the way … not the LEAST of whom were my children. Then? I forgave myself, walked forward with “Power + Grace“, and my life is just so much more … BETTER!

YOU CAN DO THIS!

You can stop whining and crying over all the stuff that YOU broke! Ga head and give it a try! YOU GOT THIS! Oh, and one last thing. This post is being published on “National Day Of Remembrance Of Homicide Victims” today in honor of those who have been truly “victimized”, which (ps), in this regard isn’t you!

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SEPTEMBER 24, 2025: “Hold On To Your Tunderbolt!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

… ’cause remember, and Epictetus said it best: Any person capable of angering you really does becomes your master, so don’t let anyone disturb you and make you their little bitch! Keep that thunderbolt in your own hands as much as humanly possible and don’t let anyone grab it away from you!

… but (ps):

Don’t you dare beat yourself up too bad when in the past you have in the future you do fork over your lightening bolt to some fool who angered you! It happens to the best of us, up to and including me, ’cause we are only human after all. Oh, and by the way, as is par for the course with me, I tried to find the perfect “day” to post here in The Diary, but couldn’t find a single trace of a “World Anger Awareness Day” to save my life. So, instead, I’m posting this now in honor of the release of this epic if not most recognizable AC/DC songs was released thirty-four years today!

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SEPTEMBER 11, 2025: “Do YOU Remember?” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

DO YOU REMEMBER?

Where were YOU at “8:46am” on Tuesday, September 11, 2001? I was standing in my then 9 year old son’s room watching the news, folding laundry, and literally glued to the screen. When the South Tower was hit, I vividly remember clenching the bath towel that was in my hand, pressing it to my chest, holding on to it for dear life, and being paralyzed by an adrenaline dump that at the time l’d only ever felt once before, which was at the moment I realized I was about to be raped in a parking garage in downtown Dallas on March 5, 1992. I couldn’t stop staring at the TV and was physically sick and numb. A few minutes later, my ex-husband called me:

Catherine! America is under attack! Get in the car and pull Christian out of school NOW!

AND I DID! I sped to his school in sheer panic and daze in nothing but my pajamas and a bathrobe only to be met by countless other parents (many of whom were also in pajamas and bathrobes) standing in line at the door in tears. Christian was attending Canyon Creek Christian Academy in Richardson, Texas, at the time which was just a few blocks away from The Islamic Association of North Texas that unfortunately and WRONGFULLY experienced immense backlash from the attacks that I wholeheartedly believe were an inside job and not the international terrorism the powers that were and accompanying media outlets so vehemently wanted us all to believe.

How little did I know on that day that I would henceforth become all too familiar with that very same “paralyzing adrenaline dump” with each of the life, psyche, and neurologically altering traumas I’d then go on to experience MANY times after that day … not the least of which was yesterday as I was glued to the screen once again at the moment Charlie Kirk was pronounced dead. By the way? Guess what I was doing at the exact moment I heard the words, “We have breaking news for you. Charlie Kirk has been pronounced dead”?

I WAS FOLDING BATH TOWELS!

For those of you reading this who weren’t yet born when “September 11th” became our new reality, it is my most sincere hope prayer that you’ve since educated yourself about what REALLY happened that day. Also? I just wish so badly you “kids” could have known what it was like to live in THAT America … where we were still “ONE Nation under God” and relatively free from harm in our own homes and public places. I’m haunted by the ghost of her and miss her terribly.

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JULY 22, 2025: “Life Starts Now!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

I find it no coincidence that on this day exactly 22 years ago, not only was the love of her life and my Number Five child (in order of arrival in my atmosphere) born, so too was the BAND of her lifetime, “Three Days Grace“! With that, and in keeping with the epic love story they’re already writing, I’ll just drop the words to her “soul song” … “Life Starts Now”:

Dear Daughter,

You used to say that you felt so down every time I turned around, and you’ve said you should’ve been gone by now. You used to think that everything was wrong, would often ask me how to carry on. Still, we’ve both made it through so many dark days and just … held … on! But LIFE STARTS NOW! You’ve done all the things that could kill you somehow, and you’re so far down, but you will survive it somehow … because life starts now. I’ve hated it every time I watched you fall down, then tried the best I could to pick you back up off the ground. I watched the weight of your world come down too many times to count. Now it’s your chance to move on and change the way that you’ve lived for so long. You’ve found the strength you had inside all along … and LIFE STARTS NOW! All of that pain? Take this life with that boy God blessed you with on the same day this band of your lifetime was born and make it yours! I love you, Daughter! And I love you, too, Number Five! HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I thank God every day that you showed up in all our lives not just in “this time”, but twenty two years ago! What are the chances that two of her FAVORITE things would be born on the same day? IT WAS WRITTEN IN THE STARS!

~ Mom

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JUNE 26, 2025: “STILL Seein’ The Gold!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection
STILL Seein' The Gold! — a weathered gold bar glowing through smoke, ash, and refining fire.

It was January 1997 the first time I heard it. I was sitting in the first Bible study I’d ever attended, in a dear friend’s living room, after I’d finally met the REAL Jesus—the One I’d never really known beyond seeing the 30-foot-tall crucified version of Him hanging over the altar at my Catholic elementary school.

Sadly, this was during a very fragile time in my life, when I was still tortured by my abhorrent reflection in a mirror. I was only a couple of months removed from an unsuccessful attempt to end my own life on November 8, 1996, after a toxic entanglement with the second undiagnosed DSM-5 textbook malignant narcissist of my life—straight from literal Hell. The first, of course, was my “father,” whom, for the longest time, I correlated with God. So, of course, I was scared to actual death of Him AND about as far as a person could get from feeling truly “lovable” by anyone, much less myself. During that Bible study, the lights went down quietly so we could immerse ourselves in “the song of the night.” It was a moment that still gives me chills and reduces me to tears when I think about it, and I will never forget the first time I heard those MOST impeccably strung-together words:

These lonely hours like a fire refining, something that’s precious, something that’s shining. There in the darkness surrounded by coals, it’s starting to glow … and I think I see gold!

IT WAS HIM!

It was GOD singing those words to me that night. And although it would be almost two full decades before I finally came to terms with EXACTLY “what, who, when, and where” I am when I look into the glass, I eventually found the answer: “Nothing, Everything, ALL OF IT!” … fearfully, wonderfully, and IMPERFECTLY made in the image of the MOST magnificent Father any child could ever belong to.

I’ve been listening to this song for nearly 28 years—even on my good days—as one of my “survival” tools. I’ve actually already Diaried it. So, if you’re reading this right now and you’ve let some mortal man or woman’s deflection convince you that you’re anything less than an actual brick of gold, please listen to it in a dark, quiet place and REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE! All that fire you’ve had to walk through was never meant to destroy you … it was meant to BURNISH and REFINE you! YOU’RE His favorite, too, by the way. You see, God’s kinda cool like that, and no one gets left in the ashes on His watch!

~ The Real GOLDEN Cat!

“The Divine Apostrophe“
About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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JUNE 11, 2025: “Say What You Will” …

The Diary Of My Perfection
Say what you will to me … still I dare to be more than what you are. I will not concede ’til my destiny is etched in the sky with the stars.

A very Happy Birthday to this epic Myles Kennedy song—its official video was released one year ago today!

… meanwhile, here I stand firmly in the fire of others’ opinions – yet seduced by their prideful games no longer! Who da fuck do they think they are with the turns of their knives, slips of their tongues, and bitter, blind judgment juries of one? Lol! Keep on speaking your minds, but don’t waste too much time speaking them to me, because I AM MY OWN VOICE IN THE DARK – and to you, I pay NO mind at all! WOWSER! Now that was some cryptic Diary entry, right? Bye, everyone. It’s me, CAT!

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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MAY 25, 2025: “The Anchor” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

When this question was posed on Quora today, “What is the biggest burden of your life?”, my answer was instantaneous and all but jumped out of my skin:

Perhaps amongst the heaviest burdens in my life is the one that as an empath I feel compelled, if not psychologically hardwired to bear when it comes to all but SCREAMING to others I see carrying all the heavy stuff that they refuse to just PUT DOWN!
{See Also :: “Heavy“}

You can say it all fades away in time, but this grave is a ladder that I must climb! Since the day that you left, I can’t seem to move on. All the weight that I felt, will I sink ’til I’m gone? THE ANCHOR!

Look, I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but truth being told, although the lifelong effects of grief in every form do tend to fade away in time … be it grief for the dead, the living, or all the tangible things a person can lose … just six feet beneath every grave is the first rung of a ladder that you must climb up before you can move on – BUT – you’ll never make it up that ladder and out of the endless amounts of burial plots we humans dig for ourselves unless and until you CHOOSE to let go of the chain that keeps you anchored to that unhallowed ground below.

Remember …

No weight of any kind can just jump into your hands, wrap itself around your neck, or straddle itself across your back. YOU have to agree to either pick it up or allow yourself to be burdened with it. Do you understand this? It is CRUCIAL to your human survival, mental wealth, and growth that you understand this! Make the choice to drop that anchor and unburden yourself!

I have long believed that the truth of just about anything can be found in all the questions you aren’t allowed to ask. A more sobering truth, however, is that often the person who is refusing to allow “the questions” we so desperately need the answers from is the one we face in the mirror. With that being said, I cannot encourage anyone who’s searching for the reasons they’re sinking to the abyss strongly enough to do that most important work of all, which is to sit with yourself in solitude and have what just may be the most important conversation of your life.

Who, what, when and where do I need to let go of so that I can finally learn to breathe again?

(ps)

IF I CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT! Trust me – I’ve have had my share of burdens in my head, heart, and soul, but it wasn’t until I DECIDED to do the work, ask myself “the questions”, then drop all the weight that I finally started living freely and became my OWN “master“. No one else could have done it for me … not even God Himself! It’s called free will for a reason, people, and one will only ever be “anchor free” when they CHOOSE TO BE! Just sayin’.

– Tyson Liberto –
About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.
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MAY 23, 2025: “It’s Been A Mad Season!” …

The Diary Of My Perfection

Understand me. I’m not like an ordinary world. I have my madness, I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that have no soul.
~ Charles Bukowski

Twenty five years ago today, Matchbox Twenty gave birth to this song via its Mad Season album release. Although I’ve always been a fan of both the band and this song, how little did I know back then that it become a permanent part of my playlist for an entire quarter of a century! If you’ve never heard of either the band or the song, I cannot recommend looking them both up highly enough. Meanwhile, the words have taken on an such a twisted and rebirthed life of their own in the years since I first heard them. Back then, I really did feel “hopeless, lost, stupid, broken, and undone“. [SEE ALSO: The the words in bold below:]

I feel stupid, but I know it won’t last for long. And I’ve been guessing, and I could have been guessing wrong. You don’t know me now. I kinda thought that you should somehow. Does that whole mad season gotcha down? And I feel stupid, but it’s something that comes and goes. And I’ve been changing. I think it’s funny how no one noticed. We don’t talk about the little things that we do without when that whole mad season comes around. So, why ya gotta stand there looking like the answer now? It seems to me you’ll come around! I need you now. Do you think you can cope? You figured me out … that I’m lost and I’m hopeless. I’m bleeding and broken, though I’ve never spoken. I’ve come undone in this mad season. I feel stupid, but I think I’ve been catching on. I feel ugly, but I know I still turn you on. You’ve grown colder now … torn apart, angry, turned around. What? That whole mad season knock you down? So, are you gonna stand there or are you gonna help me out? We need to be together now! I need you now. Do you think you can cope? You figured me out … that I’m lost and I’m hopeless. I’m bleeding and broken, though I’ve never spoken. I’ve come undone in this mad season. And now I’m crying, isn’t that what you want? And I’m trying to live my life on my own, but I won’t, no! At times I do believe I am strong. So, someone tell me why, why, why do I, I, I feel stupid … and I’ve come undone? Well, I come undone!

These days? The words to this song are amongst my top “songs of myself” mantras! I mean, don’t get me wrong … even as impossibly strong and “put together” (it sometimes only seems) that I’ve become, there are still many a days I wake up feeling stupid, but never “hopeless and undone”! As a matter of fact, dare I say that in true Matchbox Twenty style, happily staying “BENT” is a preferred and celebrated way of life for me! Carl Jung believed that true understanding of the sacred comes not from sanity, but from experiencing the depths of madness. I couldn’t agree more.

Welp! That’s all she wrote! Well, except for this ‘lil last minute nugget: As far as I’m concerned, there is literally nothing more attractive to me than an unabashedly authentic human soul speaking passionately about their passions … win, lose, or draw … with a glimmer of absolute insanity in their eyes!

MUAH!

[SEE ALSO: “Hi everyone! It’s me, CAT!”]

About The Real Cat Williamson — Warrior, Motivator, Survivor.