… because if you you’re a women who’s given birth and sleeps well at night knowing that, NO, your heart does not live inside your own body anymore, and NO, it will never will, I’m sorry that I’m not sorry to say that you’re probably not doing it right. Dare I mention, most ashamedly, those countless times in my foolish youth when my own mother would say those words that are impossible for anyone to understand unless or until they’ve given birth:

I can’t sleep until I know that you’re home safe.

When I was a teenager, then off to college and on my own, I’d just roll my eyes and think she was being dramatical. Now that I’m a mother? Those words hit pretty hard! No momma worth her weight in love rests a single day in her life unless she knows her babies are “safe inside“, even when they have their own babies.

Regardless of how strong my faith in God has been, is now, or will ever be, there has yet to be one single day as a mother that I haven’t incessantly worried about my kids. This includes the waking and sleeping hours of all my pregnancies, and even worrying about “my other kids“. Motherhood changes you permanently, and is, perhaps, the most beautiful of all double-edged swords. Studies have shown that:

Mothers around the world say they feel like their children are still a part of them long after they’ve given birth. As it turns out, that is literally true. During pregnancy, cells from the fetus cross the placenta and enter the mother’s body, where they can become part of her tissues.

(Smithsonian)

I am here to tell you that yes, it is true, that we mothers really do “feel” our children long after they leave our wombs, which is why I believe that when they say, “a mother is only as strong as her weakest child”, said weakness isn’t just psychological … it’s physiological, too.

“The Hood”.

It’s the single most important job in the world:

Still, the sobering truth is that it’s the woman’s hand that was meant to rock the cradle. We’re the Earth, the Sun, the Moon, the stars and the entire effing COSMOS to the babies we bear, and even wild animals know this to be true and often do much better jobs of raising their children than some of the “things” with wombs.

{“Mamas Boys“}

If you were blessed to have been hired for “the job” that simply ain’t for the faint of heart, be proud, HANG TOUGH, and cut yourself some slack when necessary, because walking around the face of this often wicked place with your own raw heart in shaking hands on a ground covered with broken glass isn’t easy.

To all my mom friends out there: I SEE YOU! Just because we don’t all speak out loud about how we all spend every waking and sleeping hour fending of the nightmares we have about the things that can hurt our kids – EVEN WHEN THEY’RE 30 – it doesn’t mean we don’t all understand this unspoken bond of “The Mother HOOD”. This beautiful little “Hood nugget” moment from late last December between my own mother and all of us posted below is but a prime example of exactly what I am saying. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, MOM! We all love you … “food-pushing” and all!

To My Babies On This,

My 30th Mother’s Day:

If for some reason I forget to tell you this today: THANK YOU FOR THE GIFT OF BEING YOUR MOM! It has been and will always be my utmost and highest calling, privilege, and honor. I love you both to The Moon and back!

ONE HEARTBEAT AT A TIME

You’re up all night with a screaming baby. You run all day at the speed of life. And every day you feel a little bit less like the beautiful woman you are. So, you fall into bed when you run out of hours, and you wonder if anything worth doing got done. Oh, maybe you just don’t know, or maybe you’ve forgotten … YOU … you are changing the world one little heartbeat at a time. Making history with every touch and every smile. Oh … YOU … you may not see it now, but I believe that time will tell how YOU … you are changing the world one little heartbeat at a time. With every, “I know you can do it”, and every tear that you kiss away. So many little things that seem to go unnoticed … they’re just like the drops of rain, over time they become a river. And YOU … you are changing the world one little heartbeat at a time. Making history with every touch and every smile. (Steven Curtis Chapman)