Few are the men I could honestly say are or were truly good men. My paternal Grandfather and his namesake, my cousin Ernie (better known to me and all as “The General“), top the list of the less than two handfuls that I’ve keep in that category for years:
His father, Ernie, was one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever known. He was loving and kind, caring and thoughtful, and all about his family. The man was a saint by even the harshest standards, and I’d be hard-pressed to find a single shortcoming in his character. In the 18 years I knew him, I never once heard him raise his voice or a fist, and never once heard him speak and unkind word about another. Which is not to say that he never ever said them, it’s just that if he did, he never let his impressionable grandchildren see it. To this day I smile when I remember the “worst word” I ever heard him say: “Garl darnit!” This was his version of profanity, and it took a fair amount of anger or frustration to get him there. My Grandpa was the polar opposite of any man I’d ever known until the day I met my late husband, but I’ll get to that much later. Sufficed to say, my beautiful Grandpa was and remains one of the brightest stars that has led my pathway from the sky. His legacy is one of love and kindness and the memories he left are unsoiled in my mind. Of course, he was but a mortal man, and with that, it’s certain that like all of us, he’d had his moments, grievances, “grudges” and maybe even “yelling, screaming and profanity”. As any good man and father should have, however, he was wise enough to shield the younger eyes that were watching and ears that were listening to anything less than impeccable words. Little did I know that he’d set the bar by which I’d judge all men impossibly high, and that it would be years before I understood why.
(“Phoenix Rising“)
Meanwhile, QUEUE the arrival of my “number Five” child, the young man who has captured not just my daughter’s heart, but mine as well, became made it to the the very top of the list, of course. For reasons I can’t really say, it became beyond clear to me from a fairly early point in their relationship that he … is … THE ONE FOR HER! [SEE ALSO :: “The Day Of The Lululemon Zippy Jacket” … a story that shall remain as just between Abd, my daughter, and me.]
And so, with that, I would like to wish my “Number Five” child (in order of appearance in my atmosphere) a very Happy 23rd Birthday today! Abdil-Rhaman, there are no words to express how thankful I am that you showed up for our girl right on queue when she was at the precipice of either “falling backwards” into the abyss of all that she’d been through in the years before “August 31, 2023” or “pushing forward” into everything beautiful this life has in store for not just her, but me as well because of YOU. I love you, kiddo, and so would have my Grandpa! Though you’ve yet to meet The General, when that day comes, I know he’ll love you, too, especially inasmuch as although he’s an Italian by blood, he’s a Kurd by heart, and Kurds and Jordanians have historically gotten along very well thanks to King Hussein and Mustaf Barzani! At any rate, and in keeping with the tribute my cousin made to my Grandpa, here’s what my tribute to you looks like:
A REMARKABLE MAN, MY NUMBER FIVE CHILD: As a teenager, he left behind all he knew about life back in Jordan to seek the promise of the USA. He had only his determination, integrity, and a pocket full of dreams to lean on when that plane touched American soil, but that was more than enough upon which to build a future for not just himself, but his family, which thankfully now includes not just my daughter, but all of us! Because of his example, his values and his love, I’ll get to witness my daughter living out a fairytale that most girls will never truly know! The attached photo is of what I wish could have really happened … that is … his having gotten to hang out with my beloved Grandfather and one of my favorite humans, my cousin Ernie!
The Diary Of My Perfection 