DEAR AGONY …
I have nothing left to give. I have found the perfect end. You were made to make it hurt. Disappear into the dirt. Carry me to heaven’s arms. Light the way and let me go. Take the time to take my breath. I will end where I began. And I will find the enemy within ’cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin. Dear Agony: Just let go of me. Suffer slowly. Is this the way it’s got to be? Dear Agony. Suddenly the lights go out. Let forever drag me down. I will fight for one last breath. I will fight until the end. And I will find the enemy within ’cause I can feel it crawl beneath my skin. Dear Agony: Just let go of me. Suffer slowly. Is this the way it’s got to be? Don’t bury me faceless enemy. I’m so sorry. Is this the way it’s gotta be? Dear Agony: Leave me alone. God let me go. I’m blue and cold. Black sky will burn. Love pull me down. Hate lift me up. Just turn around. There’s nothing left. Somewhere far beyond this world. I feel nothing anymore.
~ Breaking Benjamin
Although his death certificate says “FOUND AUGUST 23, 2019”, I “felt him leave” at just before midnight on August 22, 2019, when in that moment I became physically ill with a sharp pain in my stomach, and literally could not breathe. When the police notified me the next morning that they had found his body at 8:30am, he confirmed that my physical manifestation of his death the prior night was indeed correct: The coroner estimated that he’d been dead approximately 8 to 10 hours.