SEPTEMBER 8, 2020: “Thankfully Shattered Into Pieces” …

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within.

{Elisabeth Kübler-Ross}

…. when it’s 365 days later and your formerly “shattered heart” has healed in ways that are still yet to fathom, such that now, as you’re sifting through the “9 years of joy in his eyes”, you are simply and unspeakably THANKFUL!

Thankful for the adventure!

Thankful for the laughs!

Thankful for the gifts!

I’m thankful for the honor of getting to be the ONLY two girls he ever gave his heart to, and that we were his first and last of EVERYTHING:

After realizing how I really felt about Gia as my child and realizing that no one in my life ever felt that for me it hit me that you were the first and only person in my life that ever truly loved me, chose me as THE top priority in their life and fought to help me get over myself but also fought to protect me from anything and everything harmful or defamatory including myself. Even though you didn’t do it for me you brought my daughter in to this world and promoted that relationship that I didn’t even know that I wanted and needed so bad until now. You made me a parent and it turned out that was the greatest thing that ever happened to me next to falling in love with you and your daughter. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for fostering my relationship with Gia and being there for me even when I was impossible to live with. I don’t deserve a lot of the things you have done and been for me and I will always owe you for everything.
{“Back To Us“}

This has been all but impossible to digest and nope, I will never turn a corner or look in any direction and not hear the sounds of their laughter, the traces of their smiles, or feel the bond that they shared in my atmosphere.

He was our miracle, but the joy in his eyes was the only true joy he ever had, so WE were his miracles, too! Despite how it ended, it was still a real fairytale, and we will wear the crowns he left behind for us with a smile for the rest of our lives. He was ours, we were his, and that’s the only truth we need to know. I believe with every shred of my being that God gathered all the Shards that were once my beautiful king’s heart, made him whole again, and took him Home where they’ll be waiting for me on The Brighter Side Of Grey.


I’m here again, a thousand miles away from You. A broken mess – just scattered pieces of who I am. I tried so hard. Thought I could do this on my own. I’ve lost so much along the way. Then I’ll see Your face – I know I’m finally Yours. I find everything I thought I lost before. You call my name – I come to You in pieces so You can make me whole. I’ve come undone, but You make sense of who I am. Like puzzle pieces in Your eye. Then I’ll see Your face – I know I’m finally Yours. I find everything I thought I lost before. You call my name – I come to You in pieces so You can make me whole! I tried so hard! So hard! {Red}

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