APRIL 1, 2023: “Scars & Souvenirs” …

And yet another “On This Day” …

On this day in 2008, Canadian rockers, Theory Of A Deadman, released their “Scars & Souvenirs” album. On that album is a song of mine and Zack’s, the powerful words of which he’d spoken to me over the phone one night while I was away tucked at The Meadows having my nervous breakdown:

Now don’t you be afraid. We can always talk about it. No need to medicate, ’cause I know you’re strong without it. You got me through the days when I thought I couldn’t face it. Oh, let me count the ways. The love we have you can replace it. Just hold on … I’m not that strong. There’s a little piece of Heaven right here where you are. The fact that you keep trying is what sets you apart. Help me find the reason, and I’ll help you find the way to get rid of all your pain … little by little … day by day.

Bittersweet, poignant, and ironic, dontcha think, considering that he was the one who ended up not being strong enough to just hold on an stay. With that, I finally release these words into the atmosphere and back to him, only tweaked in my kinda way:

Now, you’re far away, and I’m alone to cry about it. It’s not a better place since you died and left me here to say: “Hold on … I was never that strong.” But I’ve gotten STRONGER, so, if you need me, I’m not far away. Now, I’ll just keep holding on, so I can help them find their way, ’cause there’s a little piece of Heaven right here where you were. The fact that I keep trying is what sets me apart! You helped me find the reason, so I can help them find the way to get rid of all their pain … little by little … day by day.

I love you, Zachariah.

~ Me

Those words are amongst my most treasured scars and souvenirs. Nope! No one ever DID say that this living gig was gonna be easy. Yup! I really HAVE gone through Hell on Earth too many times to count. Meanwhile, I’m just sitting here thinking that all of this pain suffering was, indeed, “the point”, because how would anyone ever really know what Heaven is unless they’ve been to hell?

I’m so honored to have been the one God chose to bear it all with the power and grace I wield. I guess He needed an apostrophe … not a semi-colon … because there is no easy way out of this, only the strongest survive, and He needed to use me to show my kids and this world how it’s done.