MARCH 31, 2021: “Broken” …

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

Let this be a friendly reminder to let yourself feel all the cuts, bruises, and painful jagged edges from being “broken”. Let them be your greatest GIFT! More so than that, don’t EVER let anyone (including yourself) make you feel bad for “feeling bad” or “feel bad” because someone may be feeling “worse”!

Trauma comparison” is not only gross and unacceptable, but it perpetuates trauma itself. Guess what? IT’S NOT A CONTEST! “Broken” is subjective, and assuming that another person’s pain and suffering is somehow worse than yours is not only highly assumptive, but one of THE cruelest self-tortures of all! It belittles you. It invalidates you. IT SAYS THAT “YOU” ARE NOT WORTHY OF COMPASSION!

How many times have you heard words like these, or worse yet, said them to yourself:

Others have it much worse than you.

Haven’t you been paying attention to everything that’s been happening in the world lately? Maybe you should change just your perspective?

Just look around at all the things you have. So many people have much less than you do.

Just be glad that you’re okay. This could have been much worse than it was.

REALLY?

Mmmkay.

Believing that someone else’s trauma is somehow bigger or worse than yours is unfair to both you and that person, because while you are wondering how they survived theirs, they may be wondering how you survived yours! It can also lead you down a self-sabotaging rabbit hole of “trauma shame”, guilt, and self-loathing. Worst yet, believing that “what you’ve gone through” isn’t as bad as what someone else has can gravely hinder or negate the external help and support you need, thus keeping you locked inside a prison with what’s literally eating you alive. Trust me – THIS I KNOW! Have you read anything I’ve written? Do you know the story of my king? For years we both suffered in our respective former lives. Me? I spent a lifetime being chastised and told that I should just get over myself because nothing was ever really so bad:

You’re SO lucky Catherine. Just look at all you have! Beautiful children. A beautiful husband. A beautiful home with SO many beautiful things in it! And oh, yah, YOU’RE JUST SO BEAUTIFUL. Why don’t you stop feeling sorry for yourself and just start being more grateful?

... and HIM? OMG! Don’t EVEN get me started! No one gave a FUCK about his “feelings” of abandonment and being thrown away by his mother! Literally – NO FUCKS WERE GIVEN! Through it all, he’d somehow managed to convince himself there was nothing wrong with his childhood, and didja see how all that ended?

Allow yourself the healthy space and time you need to convalesce your wounds, but don’t wallow in them for too long. “How long is too long?” We move about our cabins in our own personal way, because each person’s reality is based upon their own unique point of view, the different life experiences they’ve had, the values instilled in them from a very young age, and how they may be feeling at any particular time. Everyone feels things differently. At the end of the day, the more you try to convince yourself that it’s not okay to complain because “some people” have it much worse than you, the more all those feelings are going to weigh on your shoulders to the point that they actually break your back.

But know this …

Once you’re done grieving the “you” who you were before “whatever it was” happened to you, you have to move on and overcome! YOU ARE ALLOWED TO MOVE ON, OVERCOME, THRIVE, AND RISE ABOVE! Believe me when I tell you that all that pain inside your mind and body is 2,000% ready to be set free – not stored, ignored, but still breaking you.

I saw a quote posted by a friend of mine on social media that speaks to this so well:

Maybe you’re not healing because you’re trying to be who you were before the trauma. That person doesn’t exist anymore … there’s a new you trying to be born. Breathe life into that person.

No. Truer. TRUTH!

One day you’ll wake up and find yourself standing in front of a mirror with the Light that’s pouring through all those cracks shining like a halo around YOU! When that day comes, it is my greatest and truest wish that you will fall to your knees and thank GOD for having ever been broken, no matter how little or how much!

Keep the faith my friends. “Chin Up! Knuckles Out!” Though I may not personally “know” all of you, I do so love EVERY single one of you! You are my people! My broken “PHOENIX” people. Actually, now that I think of it, it’s only the “broken people” I truly understand. Together our shards are manifesting the MOST magnificent mosaic this cosmos will have known!

WHAT IF?

What if I told you it’s okay to be broken, scared and confused, because those scars and bruises are your medals of honor? Well, I’M TELLING YOU! Not only do I speak to you from a place of formerly “broken”, I speak to you from a place of TRULY LOVED! It just so happens that I personally know The Guy who wrote the language of “broken” in the red letters that fill the cracks in my soul with the divinely punctuated Light that’s inside of me every single day! These days, when I hear this song, I pretend it’s HIM singing it just to me …

BROKEN

Why are we overcome with fear? What if I told you that fear isn’t real? Why are we overcome with death? What if I told you my friends your doubt you could live without? There is a question I want to understand – Why can’t everyone tell the truth and learn to love again? Do you know what it feels like to be broken and used? Scared and confused? Do you know what it feels like to be broken and used? Scared and confused? Yes, I know. One more question … I know time is dear. Is what the world speaks of love really? The answers not of this world but very clear. Look above to find love and you found eternal life. Street corner preachers you’ve heard before friendly advice just gets thrown out the door. There is a question that I want to understand – Why can’t everyone tell the truth and learn to love again? Do you know what it feels like to be broken and used? Scared and confused? Yes, I know what it feels like to be broken and used, scared and confused. Yes, I know. Yes, I know. I’m broken! {Scott Stapp}