Understand me. I’m not like an ordinary world. I have my madness, I live in another dimension and I do not have time for things that have no soul.

~ Charles Bukowski

Twenty five years ago today, Matchbox Twenty gave birth to this song via its Mad Season album release. Although I’ve always been a fan of both the band and this song, how little did I know back then that it become a permanent part of my playlist for an entire quarter of a century! If you’ve never heard of either the band or the song, I cannot recommend looking them both up highly enough. Meanwhile, the words have taken on an such a twisted and rebirthed life of their own in the years since I first heard them. Back then, I really did feel “hopeless, lost, stupid, broken, and undone“. [SEE ALSO: The the words in bold below:]

I feel stupid, but I know it won’t last for long. And I’ve been guessing, and I could have been guessing wrong. You don’t know me now. I kinda thought that you should somehow. Does that whole mad season gotcha down? And I feel stupid, but it’s something that comes and goes. And I’ve been changing. I think it’s funny how no one noticed. We don’t talk about the little things that we do without when that whole mad season comes around. So, why ya gotta stand there looking like the answer now? It seems to me you’ll come around! I need you now. Do you think you can cope? You figured me out … that I’m lost and I’m hopeless. I’m bleeding and broken, though I’ve never spoken. I’ve come undone in this mad season. I feel stupid, but I think I’ve been catching on. I feel ugly, but I know I still turn you on. You’ve grown colder now … torn apart, angry, turned around. What? That whole mad season knock you down? So, are you gonna stand there or are you gonna help me out? We need to be together now! I need you now. Do you think you can cope? You figured me out … that I’m lost and I’m hopeless. I’m bleeding and broken, though I’ve never spoken. I’ve come undone in this mad season. And now I’m crying, isn’t that what you want? And I’m trying to live my life on my own, but I won’t, no! At times I do believe I am strong. So, someone tell me why, why, why do I, I, I feel stupid … and I’ve come undone? Well, I come undone!

These days? The words to this song are amongst my top “songs of myself” mantras! I mean, don’t get me wrong … even as impossibly strong and “put together” (it sometimes only seems) that I’ve become, there are still many a days I wake up feeling stupid, but never “hopeless and undone”! As a matter of fact, dare I say that in true Matchbox Twenty style, happily staying “BENT” is a preferred and celebrated way of life for me! Carl Jung believed that true understanding of the sacred comes not from sanity, but from experiencing the depths of madness. I couldn’t agree more.

Welp! That’s all she wrote! Well, except for this ‘lil last minute nugget: As far as I’m concerned, there is literally nothing more attractive to me than an unabashedly authentic human soul speaking passionately about their passions … win, lose, or draw … with a glimmer of absolute insanity in their eyes!

MUAH!

[SEE ALSO: “Hi everyone! It’s me, CAT!”]