Last night while I was in the closet pondering the idea of tackling Zack’s clothes and personal belongings (which, PS, are all still either hanging or sitting completely untouched and exactly as they were the last time he walked out of this house at 8:00pm on August 22, 2019, I stumbled upon the little box of all the trinkets and baubles my son has given me over the years, not the least of which is the Godiva Chocolate box itself! You see, it was empty when he secretly pulled it out of the trash at age ten, only to put a handwritten love note from him to me inside it. My favorite thing, however, is the Circa 1999 “Valentine Stick” that he wrapped in a napkin a few years before that at age seven.
With this, I was joyfully reminded of the many wonderful gifts this boy has brought to my life over the years, not the least of which is the only unconditional love from a human I’d ever known prior to Zack, and then, of course, the inspiration to LIVE, fight and change a very broken and toxic family cycle.
No matter what “things” I have or never have, have had and then lost, or have otherwise been given or not given, I am still a woman who is blessed beyond measure with EVERYTHING!
I was also reminded of the true and sobering fact about life itself, that sometimes when someone “gives to you”, they may be giving all they have, so to never take “gifts” for granted, no matter how big, small, or even tangible.
Dare I remember the night that Frog Prince of mine promised to build me “a castle of stone and brick“. Lol, if only he’d known that regardless of the material gifts and “things” he’d given me, I could happily have lived with him anywhere, so long as I had that giant heart of his.
Perhaps the best part of finding this little box of goodies last night, especially in light of what I was mentally tackling in that closet in the first place, is that finding the “little box of trinkets” literally STOPPED me from falling apart in the midst of all Zack’s “stuff”. I’m serious people, THIS is how my life works. It’s all good. It’s all God. It’s exactly as it needs to be. Just sayin’ …