JUNE 9, 2020: “Everything” …

Last night while I was in my closet “thinking about thinking about” tackling “Zack’s stuff” (which, PS, is all still either hanging or sitting completely untouched and exactly as it was the last time he walked out of this house at 8:00pm on August 22, 2019), I stumbled upon the little box of trinkets my son has given me over the years, not the least of which is the Godiva Chocolate box itself! You see, it was empty when he secretly pulled it out of the trashat age ten, only to put a handwritten love note from him to me inside it. My favorite thing, however, is the Circa 1999 “Valentine’s Day stick” that he wrapped in a napkin a few years before that at age seven.

With this, I was joyfully and HOPEFULLY reminded of all the wonderful gifts this boy has brought to my life over the years, not the least of which is the only unconditional love from a human I’d ever known prior to Zack, and then, of course, the inspiration to LIVE, fight and change a very broken and toxic family cycle. No matter what “things” I have or never have, or “have had and lost”, I am woman who is still blessed with literally EVERYTHING! Perhaps the best part of finding this little box of goodies last night, especially in light of what I was attempting to do in that closet in the first place, is that finding the “little box of trinkets” literally STOPPED me from “thinking about thinking about” falling apart in the midst of all Zack’s “stuff”. I’m serious people, THIS is how my life works. It’s all good. It’s all God. It’s exactly as it needs to be. Just sayin’ …

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