Indeed, it is true that Superman really has left the building. But guess what, people? The Wonder Woman he left behind is still doing A-OK! Yes, I know, this video is SUPER long, but I PROMISE that it’s well worth watching!

Meanwhile …

I seriously DO love my incredibly absurd but insanely beautiful life, up to and including every single jacked up and twisted thing that has happened FOR me, not TO me!

Exactly how many girls do you know who can legitimately say they had a real life superhero step off of an elevator and help her save her own life? Yup! I CAN! Jean-Claude Van DAMN, I’m one hell of a lucky woman. As it turns out, though, it wasn’t actually Superman who carried me in his arms to get me where I am today. It was MY own divinely punctuated strength, power, and grace that carried me here today.

Superman did, however, help me find all those gifts I already had hiding within me. As it turned out, he had someplace else he needed to be, like maybe “stuck at the five and dime”, but NOT before making sure I had this cape and crown of my own. He must have gotten stuck at the five and dime.

Ah, and now THIS is where I get to the BEST part of this hero’s tale:

Hi everyone! It’s me, CAT! I’m a miracle, the REAL Wonder Woman, and God’s ACTUAL favorite daughter!