In honor of National Ancestor Appreciation Day, and in true keeping with the trajectory of this Diary …

🎶

“Laying in the silence, waiting for the sirens. Signs? Any signs I’m alive still? I don’t wanna lose it, but I’m not getting through this. Hey? Should I pray? Should I pray to myself? To a God? To a savior who can unbreak the broken. Unsay these spoken words? Find hope in the hopeless?

Pull me out of the train wreck. Unburn the ashes. Unchain the reactions now. Not ready to die. Not yet. Pull me out of the train wreck. Pull me out, pull me out, pull me out, ah. Pull me out, pull me out.

Underneath our bad blood, we’ve still got a sanctum: Home. Still a home … still a home here. It’s not too late to build it back, ’cause a one-in-a-million chance is still a chance, and I would take those odds.”

(James Arthur)

So, here’s the dealio. I pulled my own SELF out of the train wreck, and nope, I don’t want to unbury all the ashes or unchain the reactions now. You see, those ashes are the very ones I’ve risen from into this beautiful creature of dark and Light I’ve become.

Yes, I’m ready to die, but no, I don’t “want to” anytime soon. You see, THIS momma is still cleaning up all the blood that’s relentlessly being shed at the hands of a “man” (lol) who takes immense pride and joy in destroying the sanctum we keep trying to make out of the nothing he ever provided us in the first place.

I’M still “home” to my babies, no matter how old they ever get, and I’LL be the one standing at the station for as long as I’m allowed so that I can keep helping them unstrap all the luggage that DISEASE I once called “father” strapped to all their backs.

For those of you broken adult children of the malignancies in this world, trust me when I tell you that it’s NEVER too late to build it all back, but you don’t have to stand there and WAIT for the chance to take those odds. Just TAKE your chance and make your OWN! Put down your luggage, friend. The brighter side to all this grey is patiently waiting for you at the end of this dead end track. So, honor your ancestors’ survival via YOU with a legacy of LOVE, not scars!

Pray God.