Okay, so I lied. There aren’t just “32 Sketches” in both my closet and in my mind, there are actually quite more than 32. This one is called “Where Torment Looms”, Circa 1990. I vividly remember sitting at the kitchen table of my campus apartment when I sketched it while listening to a good ole fashioned Iron Maiden cassette in a boombox over and over and over! “Can I Play With Madness“, one of my top three favorite songs from their Seventh Son of A Seventh Son album (alongside Infinite Dreams and Moonchild) was born this day 37 years ago, by the way!
Am I Pablo Picasso? Nope. I’m I Salvador Dali? Once again, that would be a NOPE! Does this picture clearly embody the torment looming in the cobwebs of my soul which was par for my course during that season of my life? Umm … THAT would be a yes!
Yet, I sit here gazing at it 33 years later, it’s not just torment I see looming in my just beginning to “beautifully break” mind.
I see a touch of LIGHT!
How little did I know that almost three decades later I’d look back and find the crystal ball just glowing like the Sun smack dab in the middle of the madman’s “diary” and how that ‘lil burst of yellow would divinely punctuate my story!
If only I’d known that one day I’d look back and find the crystal ball glowing like the Sun hiding in plain sight smack dab in the middle of the madman’s “diary” and how that ‘lil burst of yellow would divinely punctuate my story!
The late, great, possibly insane, and beloved to me Franz Kafka once said:
By believing passionately in something that still does not exist, we create it!
So yes, INDEED it is true that being delusional absolutely IS necessary! We cannot survive this bullshit “reality” otherwise!
Meanwhile, another MAD ‘lil Hatter I have always adored is the personification of the chaos and confusion in not just Wonderland, but life in general. His often nonsensical if not satirical commentary and roller coaster riddles with absolutely no answers IS often the answer to the topsy-turvy world that both Alice and myself exist in.
He said,
“Have I gone mad?”,
to which Alice replied,
“I’m afraid so. You’re entirely bonkers! But I’ll tell you a secret … ALL the best people are!”
So far as I can tell, all the best people I’ve ever been lucky enough to know are bat shit effing MASTERPIECES of insanity standing in the darkness but touched with the MOST beautiful light a human soul could ever be litten with. Wait! “Litten”? Is that even a word! Welp! IT IS NOW, BITCHES!
Bye everyone, it’s me, CAT!
The Diary Of My Perfection 
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