Dear Garrett:

This is an EXTREMELY powerful message and I hope to GOD it wakes some people up ASAP! It’s the same exact shit I’ve been screaming from the top of my VERY lonely mountain for years (because most women think I’m a misogynist with my “ass backwards” views on “roles” in marriage). Nope, I’m NOT a misogynist, BTW. I’m an ecumenical abuser who sees BOTH sides of this effed up like a country duck huMANity coin. Lol. I’m was actually in tears listening to you, Garrett, and feel like I just got out of a sermon where the pastor bitch slapped his people with hell, fire, brimstone, and TRUTH, which we all know most people can’t effing handle anymore. This was brutal but NECESSARY! I’m messaging you something I wrote a couple of year ago about this. I hope you’ll read it. Much love, Garrett … and for Danielle, too.

… and to whoever needs to hear this right now (and by hear it, I mean “hear it” like I’m screaming at you):

… and by the way, don’t forget where we came from: THEIR RIB! I’m an ecumenical abuser! What’s good for the gander IS good for the goose, so let’s all stop deflecting and pointing the finger at the other gender and stay focused on doing better jobs managing our own business, “roles”, and the expectations. The last time I checked, most people don’t even know what the fuck they want or need from the opposite sex, and God FORBID a man tries to tell a woman what he needs, lest he be dubbed weak and emasculated for having … HOLY SHIT … “feelings”! I just puked in my own mouth! Anyhoo … Anything MEN can fuck up, we can fuck up BETTER!

(“Mama’s Boys“)

… or rather should I say,

“Uno momento, por favor“:

Sorry, NOT sorry, but ours are the arms that were meant to embrace the world, up to and even more so including the men that BUILD IT for us. Sorry, NOT sorry once again. Lemme ask you this: So, when’s the last time you drove by a construction site, road crew, or farm that was chock full of women? Nope! I’m not even sitting here trying to say that never in the history of the world has there been a construction site, road crew, or FARM without a “Rosie The Riveter” blood, sweat and tears WOMAN working on it. But don’t be foolish, ladies, we COULD NOT live without them, that’s the Jean Claude Van DAMN fucking hard truth, and NOPE, we are NOT “their equals”. Sorry ’boutcha! Let’s all just “normalize” emasculation! Yah! That’ll be fun! By the way, in case you haven’t figured it out by now, I’M AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY ABUSER! I don’t think ANYONE – man OR woman – should be throwing their one-abbed spouses under the marriage joke bus. But hey, what do I know, right? My GOSH, people, it’s hard enough for anyone out there to fight the good and valiant fight when the world at large just wants to rip the people livin’ in it apart. C’mon ladies, indeed it is true that if you don’t “crown” him, pick him up and value him, who else in this jacked up world will? PROTECT THE SANCTITY OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP! Marriage is hard. Being a HUMAN is hard. “Ha ha! Hee hee! My husband is one FAT fuck of a disappointing failure! Oh, but no! I’m just kidding! I’m only doing this for LIKES and CLICKS, so, it’s okay to bitch slap him just for fun!”

WAKE UP, WARRIORS!

In the meantime, boys and girls, and aside my disdain for this whole toxic masculinity bullshit that’s driving “huMANity” straight into the fucking shitter … ARE YOU? Are you being Jean-Claude Van DAMN crystal clear about what you want from your partner, or are you fighting tooth and nail with both them and yourself trying to figure out what the fuck messed you up so bad? Whataya want from them, and most importantly, whataya want from YOU? Just don’t give up. Keep workin’ it out. Take a second to breathe so you won’t let them down. Oh, and by “them” I mean everyone you come in contact with on your journey. Just sayin’.