AUGUST 5, 2020: “Open Up Your Eyes” …


Yesterday morning, I woke up to another one of those magical music moments I have come to love and cherish when my son communicates what he’s feeling by texting me a song. As I’ve said, his music messages are one of my greatest treasures, and ironically, Zack would often do the very same thing, which of course I treasured just as much. Sufficed to say, today my own eyes are open wide and I’m beyond thankful that my beautiful king finally found the peace he could never find:

But as they laid him in the ground, her heart would sing with out a sound. For the first time you can open your eyes and see the world without your sorrow when no one knows the pain you left behind and all the peace you could never find that’s waiting there to hold and keep you. Welcome to the first day of your life. Just open up your eyes.

{“Chris Daughtry}

I can only imagine what it was like for him that night, “August 22, 2019, “just before midnight“, in that split second after he pulled the trigger and his eyes closed for the very last time. What did he see when at last he opened them? WHO did he see when he opened them?


I just know it. God had His hand on my husband’s head at all times, even while he was roaming this Earth like the motherless and forsaken “trash can boy” he always saw when he looked into a mirror. I am still the most blessed woman I have ever known to have roamed this Earth as well. How is that even possible? It’s because God has had His hand on my head at all times as well during my greatest triumphs and joys and my darkest tragedies and traumas.

When Jesus heard this, He told them, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor – sick people do. I have come to call not those who think they are righteous, but those who know they are sinners.”

{MARK 2:17}

Make it a good day everyone and always keep the faith! Remember, “this is our temporary home“, nothing more, nothing less. The best part of all of this is still yet to come, and this pain has been a gift.

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