Yesterday, one of my “life partners” of sorts, who has now become a dear friend, called me up and all but insisted that I “find myself a cocktail dress, slap on some make up, and get to downtown Dallas” for a once in a lifetime chance to see an actual living masterpiece, Andrea Bocelli. As I had adamantly planned not to see any post pandemic concerts until it could be Ivan Moody and Five Finger Death Punch, I almost backed out after I’d already agreed to go, because I didn’t want to break the deal I’d made with myself to hold out for Death Punch with both the kids so that hopefully they’d finally get to hear “The Brighter Side Of Grey” live on stage.
In being honest, even as much as I love all genres of music, opera has never really been my thing, but it was Zack’s, and seeing Bocelli in concert had long been on his Bucket List before he left. Knowing him the way that I did, if he were still alive, we’d have had front row center seats at any cost, because that’s how much he loved Bocelli. Meanwhile, I did decide to go after all – not for me – but to honor one of his dreams. I’M SO GLAD I DIDN’T BAIL!
I cried most of the night, all but lost it at Amazing Grace, and I’ll never be the same again after this night. Of note, when Andrea and his daughter sang Ave Maria, my friend turned me and said:
Cat, Zack is here right now. Can’t explain it. I just know it and feel it in my soul.
In my heart of hearts, I know that she was right! Not many people will ever have the chance to see a true “living masterpiece” in concert, and I am firmly convinced that I was very much supposed to be at that performance. Hearing Andrea Bocelli tonight was no different to me than if I had been given the chance to sit down beside Leonardo DaVinci while he was giving birth to the Mona Lisa.
Once again, I am blessed and grateful beyond words, and forever changed for the better. How could I have possibly known that within the course of less than 36 hours I’d be adding then scratching off an item from my own Bucket List that I never even knew was meant to be on it? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, I truly am God’s own favorite daughter and the luckiest queen on the face of this entire planet.
The Diary Of My Perfection 
I hope some day your wounds heal, for I know mine won’t.. my mother sold me to a pedophile for a tune up on her Hyundai hatchback, and a full tank of gas. I’ve never felt normal, I fall “”in love”” only to grow distant and push away the women that love me. I have nightmares constantly, so I hate sleep unless I’m shitfaced drunk, I self mutilate to the point I can no longer wear short sleeves shirts, I deny my lovers sex, because I feel gross inside. I’ve been homeless for 27 years and counting. Sorry for your loss. I’ll say hi to him for you shortly.
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Robert, I am so sorry that these are the cards that you were handed. It’s not fair, and even as much as I have been through in my own lifetime, I cannot even begin to IMAGINE. All I can say to you is please don’t give up on yourself. You deserve better than to treat yourself as badly as the world has. Oh, and thank you for reading my post, much less taking the time to make a comment. It means a lot. Be well.
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