So, it’s “World Hunger Day 2023“, and here I am with a pit in my stomach still thinking about that moment last December when it finally punched me in the face that I owed my body an apology and not just a love letter.

On that day, I really was just sitting there in my bougie, cozy, fluffy pajamas and binging on Hallmark movies. Then, during a commercial break, I began scrolling around on Quora and stumbled upon a question, answer, and pictures that have both haunted and inspired me almost daily since:

This makes me so fucking sad. Meanwhile, I’m over here in my actual small castle binging on Lucky Charms, popcorn, and Skittles and watching cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies in my bougie, cozy, and WARM fluffy snowman pajamas like there’s no tomorrow.

I needed this reminder today, regardless of how I hate it. Despite any and all of the very worst “circumstances” in my lifetime – and trust me, there’ve been PLENTY – I literally have NOTHING to complain about. Not ONE single fucking thing!

For me, when I am reminded of the sobering reality that SO many people in this world literally fucking starve to death, it makes me even more ashamed of the fact that I had an eating disorder for more than half of my life. Well, maybe not necessarily “ashamed” of the actual eating disorder – it happened for a very sobering reason. Thankfully, I’m still alive to talk about it. Still, when I think of all the FOOD that was available to me, yet, I refused to eat when I was in my anorexia phases, and worse yet, all the precious FOOD I fucking WASTED binging and purging it down the toilet, it makes me so fucking mad at myself for being such a SICK and SELFISH asshole for taking the healthy body I was given and MUTILATING IT for all those years with all the blessings of FOOD I took so badly for granted. Thank you for sharing this post. I needed to be reminded of how lucky I am to have this life I was given and NOT to take anything in it for granted. Oh well, we live and we learn, right?

(The Real Cat Williamson On Quora)

… and, with that, how dare I have disrespected, abused, and punished this healthy body that the good Lord gave me and treated it as a punching bag on which to take out all my anger, sadness, and inner turmoil? It was my soul that that had been empty for more than 19 years in a row, not my stomach. It was my soul that needed to be fed the truth, silence, forgiveness, and acceptance it had been starving for all the while. Thank you, GOD, and thank you to MY BODY, that I was given the chance to atone and account for all the damage I had done to the beautiful, HEALTHY shell that I’d been desecrating.

Never again! Never give in!

(“Creatures” by Shinedown)

That God-forsaken creature is long gone and DEAD, because my soul has finally found the respite and nourishment it needed to make a safe place for me to live.

FEED YOUR SOUL

She goes around switching on lamps, ’cause the light, she tells me, is coming in slanted. I can’t get enough of the beauty alive behind the shadows. Why have I gone hungry? I’ve gone hungry in a land of plenty. Feed your soul. Feed your soul. If you are empty and you want to be whole, feed your soul on bread and water, truth and silence. All sons and daughters … feed your soul.

The heart cries, but the body growls, and the appetite of the flesh is louder than we thought. Let the flickering flame of our appointed days not thirst, nor die, but grow brighter. And when a longing haunts you, feed your soul. Feed your soul. If you are empty and you want to be whole, feed your soul on bread and water, truth and silence. All sons and daughters … feed your soul.

Hope born of promise that will not disappoint … that will not end in shame. You’ve got to cultivate the taste for the rich and true … for the goodness you have always craved. Feed your soul. Feed your soul. (Christa Wells)