“We train others how to treat us.” Perhaps six of the most important words I’ve ever heard in my life so far, echoed again today by a real estate teacher, author, and mentor of mine in a real estate class he was teaching. Ironically, I had already heard these exact words before from “Debbie G”, a colleague I’d called upon for some advice a year ago when dealing with a buyer that I just couldn’t come to terms with. She probably has no idea of the impact those six powerful words she spoke while coaching me through “the buyer from hell” ordeal had on not only my professional life, but my personal life as well. Ever since she said it, I have chanted them to myself on a daily basis.
I am so grateful to be living in a time, not only geographically, but socially and economically as well, that I can choose to further not only my education, but my wisdoms of life in general and feel completely supported in doing so. You see, I am a woman who was first a daughter, then a wife, then a mom, and then a real estate agent and home stager. A career in real estate was not a natural choice for me, and in fact, if left solely to my former self’s complete lack of self-confidence and subconscious “fear of succeeding”, I suppose I’d still be hiding somewhere in a perfectly manicured palace of oblivion on a road I have since left behind. I would never have fully realized not only my potential, but my true love and appreciation of life, learning and people in general. But alas, I turn to yet another one of my favorite all time mantras, “everything happens for a reason“! Yes, this is truly the edict I have chosen to adopt over the course of many lifetimes, loves and tragedies, and the one voice inside my psyche that faithfully pulls my little train down this ever rambling track I ride. That being said, even that “buyer transaction from hell”, brokerage colleagues and real estate teachers “happened for a reason”.
On my way home from school this afternoon I kept thinking about how much I wanted to literally jump out of my seat in class today when I heard my teacher say those words I now so fondly relish and yell, “Yes, yes, YES! This is what I’ve been saying to myself almost every day since Debbie G said these words to me during my buyer transaction from hell!” Wow, do you think they would have thought I was nuts, or what? During that same ride home I couldn’t help but notice that I was smiling from ear to ear, richer still with yet another treasured light bulb moment! My point being that I am inspired, on fire, and completely elated with my new found freedom to take every opportunity I can to absorb every shred of wisdom from those who have gone before me through doors I am constantly preparing to open. Of course, I will take and apply this principal to my real estate practice, and most especially where my agency is concerned. But more so than that, I am practicing this principal in my every day life as well, and I gotta tell ya, it sure feels good to know what I know and why I know it, and further, to daily permit myself to “just say no” now and again, rather than letting some people run me over with their chaos busses. Boundaries are superb my friends! They send a smokescreen into our atmosphere that reads …
No thank you, I’ll pass. I wouldn’t do that to myself, a loved one, or quite frankly even a stranger, so you may NOT do that to me.
What a coincidence that two people I have grown to respect in the fledgling state of my career have both said these most important “six words” to me! Perhaps I should tattoo them in reverse on my forehead so I see them every time I look in a mirror. This is me folks, like it or not:
I’ll train YOU how to treat ME, and that’s JUST the way that it is!
Respect for human boundaries of any shape or form is implicit in the survival of our very souls. And for the record, with this post I do so hope that both “the colleague and the coach” fully realize the impact those six words have had on me.