JANUARY 8, 2020: “The Ashes Of Eden” …

Having proceeded with this trip despite the literal and metaphorical ashes he left us in, I’d decided that this would be the perfect place to spread the first of his ashes. Not only because this was supposed to be his trip, too, but more so because it’s somewhere he belonged. Although he never lived here, after having traced his ancestry to find out who he really was, much to his surprise, he’d discovered that he was of predominantly European descent. So, when we stumbled upon the beautiful brook that runs about The Blarney Castle gardens, we just knew it was the perfect spot!

Since his “blood” never bothered to take him home, my kids and I have firmly decided that not only did they never deserve him in the first place, they will never get to have him again. In the years to come, we will include the ashes we had formerly set aside for them amongst those we will journey with to the many places his ancestors once called “home”, not the least of which is Wales, where we discovered the origin of his Williamson klan.

So, with that, I will end with my adaptation the most befitting lyrics for this moment …

Despite your many mistakes and all the ways you hurt us, I knew your heart AND your faith in God. I cannot and will not discount the unconditional forgiveness and grace that He showed in that moment He reached for your hand. I know your faith was rewarded when you came to your end, and no final warning did you miss. Yes, He called for you, and He saw your soul within, and yes, Zachariah, you were worthy. He was with you after all, and although the demon that was living in your head prevented you from hearing His voice or feeling His presence, indeed He was with you through it all as the ashes of Eden did fall. The darkness is no longer falling upon you. The air no longer grows thin. No more voices haunting. You have nothing left to fear. There is nothing left but the shining Light from Heaven above Who has taken your hand to His everlasting will.


Will the faithful be rewarded when we come to the end? Will I miss the final warning from the lie that I have lived? Is there anybody calling? I can see the soul within, and I am not worthy. I am not worthy of this. Are you with me after all? Why can’t I hear you? Are you with me through it all? Then why can’t I feel you? Stay with me don’t let me go because there’s nothing left at all. Stay with me don’t let me go until the ashes of Eden fall. Will the darkness fall upon me when the air is growing thin? Will the Light begin to pull me to its everlasting will? I can hear the voices haunting. There is nothing left to fear. And I am still calling. I am still calling to You. Heaven above me, take my hand. Shine until there’s nothing left but You. {Breaking Benjamin}