… when the doorbell rings and it’s the custom piece your friend and jeweler of 20 years had been creating just for you. It was born from the gold and diamonds my first two wedding bands and his. For those of you who don’t know this, Zack’s Life Path Number was 8, and it’s been working itself into some of the craziest moments since he left, not the least of which is the sobering reality that while we were very much hoping for the best with his spiraling mental health and passive suicidality, he had been preparing for the worst. Little did I know that on “8/8/19” he’d gone to Cabella’s and purchased the gun he used to end his life. So, from a numerology standpoint:

8+8 = 16

16+19 = 35

3+5 = 8

Not long before he died, he had also decided to have an infinity symbol, which is also an “8” when turned on its side, with both mine and Gia’s name tattooed on his left shoulder. This amazing woman even worked two semi colons into each end of the design for me, which we weren’t sure would even be possible, because as you know ...

“; my story isn’t over yet”

“Infinity” represents so much more to me than just the endless love I’ll carry in my heart for him until I see him again. It represents the truly endless love that God has for all of us, which is something I am ever mindful of, especially in the darkest moments of my life.

He had to be smiling from ear to ear as he watched me open that package with as much pure joy as the day he first slipped those rings on my finger, and I will treasure this masterpiece as long as I’m alive. Although Gia still has so much to process where Zack and the horrific way that he hurt her are concerned, when the day finally comes that I, too, have to move on to The Brighter Side Of Grey, hopefully she and maybe even her daughters will treasure and wear it proudly as they bask in the legacies of love, Light, and endless resilience their “Crazy Grandma Cat” and even Zack were determined to have live on through them infinitely.

ENDLESS

Before the start, beyond the end. As far as east is from the west. Measureless. From open sky to ocean depths. More than man can comprehend. Measureless. Your love is without limit, Your love is constant. Your love goes on forever. Your love is endless. Your love is overwhelming, I can’t contain it. Your love, Your love, Your love is endless! Oh, how vast, and oh how wide. Far beyond all space and time. Measureless. Your love is without limit. Your love is constant. Your love goes on forever. Your love is endless. No death, no height. No fear, no shame, no lie. I am convinced, even the grave could never separate. {Cory Asbury}