MARCH 4, 2020: “Endless” …

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“Before the start, beyond the end. As far as east is from the west. Measureless. From open sky to ocean depths. More than man can comprehend. Measureless. Your love is without limit, Your love is constant. Your love goes on forever. Your love is endless. Your love is overwhelming, I can’t contain it. Your love, Your love, Your love is endless! Oh how vast, and oh how wide. Far beyond all space and time. Measureless. Your love is without limit. Your love is constant. Your love goes on forever. Your love is endless. No death, no height. No fear, no shame, no lie. I am convinced, even the grave could never separate.” ~ Cory Asbury 

… when the doorbell rings and it’s the custom piece your friend and jeweler of 20 years had been creating just for you. It was born from the gold and diamonds my first two wedding bands and his. For those of you who don’t know this, Zack’s “Life Path Number” was 8, and that number has been working itself into some of the craziest moments since August 22, 2019, not the LEAST of which is the sobering reality that although we were both very much “hoping for the best” with his spiriling mental health and passive suicidality, he had been “preparing for the worst” all the while. Little did I know that on “8/8/19”, which day, on the surface, appeared to be just fine, he’d gone into Cabella’s and purchased the gun he used to end his life. So, from a numerology standpoint: “8 plus 8 is 16; 16 plus 19 is 35; 3 plus 5 is 8”. Not long before he died he had also decided to have an Infinity symbol (which is also an “8”) with both mine and Gia’s name on each end tattooed on his left shoulder. This amazing woman even worked two semi colons into each end of the design for me, which we weren’t sure would even be possible, because as you know, “; my story isn’t over yet”.

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“Infinity” represents so much more than just the endless love I will carry in my heart for him until I see him again. It represents the truly endless love that God has for all of us as well, which is something I am ever mindful of, especially in the darkest moments of my life.

I know that he was smiling from ear to ear watching me open that package with as much joy and excitement as the day he first slipped those rings on my finger! I will treasure this masterpiece until the day I leave this Earth. Although Gia still has so much still to process where Zack and the horrific way that he left and hurt her are concerned, when the day finally comes that I myself have to move on, hopefully both she and my future granddaughters will take it from there and wear and treasure it proudly as they bask in legacy of love, Light and endless resilience their “Crazy Grandma Cat” and even Zack was determined to have live on through them for “INFINITY”.

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5 thoughts on “MARCH 4, 2020: “Endless” …”

  1. This a beautiful story. The semi colon now has new meaning to me. Thank you. Amy Clarke is our precious friend also. She has blessed many with her genuine spirit and talent.

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    1. Elaine, I cannot thank you enough for the support and comment on this. Yes, Amy is precious to me as well. She’s got a very authentic demeanor and heart and I think it’s why her work is so masterful. And as for the semi colon … I am so stoked that you will now understand if you ever see someone “wearing one” on their clothing or their skin. It’s the not-so-secret logo for our stinkin’ rotten club. Again, THANK YOU!

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  2. Awesome stuff! I love numerology, you can learn so much about yourself. I just found out my life path number on slybu.com and the message I got, gave me a lot of confidence.

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