I DID IT!

I’m now “ASIST” (Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training) certified. I’d say it was an emotionally tough 48 hours, but that wouldn’t be quite true. I’m not gonna lie, there were definitely a couple of moments when I felt myself sliding backwards, like when we were watching the video reenactment of a 911 suicide call and heard the sound of a double-barrel shotgun being loaded and death certificates being filled out on the widescreen. No tears though. Not a single one. I refuse to look back with sorrow, agony, or regret at the devastation in my life. I only want to look forward!

In addition to the life-saving skills I learned in this class, perhaps the most powerful takeaway was not “skill related” at all. You see, when I walked in to that place Monday morning it was PACKED! Forty plus people were there to be trained, and most of our volunteer trainers traveled to Dallas from other states to teach the class. Keep in mind that an inventory of  who was there to be trained revealed that they were mostly “regular people” from many different jobs, professions, statuses and groups. And while “some”, like me, had either lost a loved one to suicide or survived an attempt of their own, “most” were not in either category. Meaning? It was a random group of concerned citizens who truly believe that suicide is a serious and growing epidemic society is facing and they just want to find a way to help. IT WAS COMFORTING, AND MOTIVATING, AND INSPIRATIONAL, AND IT MADE ME FEEL SO MUCH LESS ALONE AS A MEMBER OF THIS CLUB THAT NO ONE WANTS TO BELONG TO! It reminded me yet again that this world isn’t as dark and lonely as it sometimes seems and there are still good people in it, with warm hearts, genuine intentions, and wide open arms that just want to embrace other people with love. I am bound and determined to maintain every SINGLE ounce of the resilience I’ve fought so hard to earn going forward and for the REST of my days on this Earth.

I pray to God that I never get “that call” from someone who believes that someone they know may be in crisis. Statistically speaking, unfortunately, I just may get that call at some point. I’M PREPARED! God let me be broken so that I could become His “Light In The Dark” and live a life of use to others in His name.

TELL YOUR HEART TO BEAT AGAIN

You’re shattered like you’ve never been before. The life you knew in a thousand pieces on the floor. And words fall short in times like these when this world drives you to your knees. You think you’re never gonna get back to the you that used to be. Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in. Let the shadows fall away. Step into the light of grace. Yesterday’s a closing door. You don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been and tell your heart to beat again. “Beginning”. Just let that word wash over you. It’s alright now, love’s healing hands have pulled you through. So, get back up, take step one. Leave the darkness, feel the Sun. ‘Cause your story’s far from over and your journey’s just begun. Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in. Let the shadows fall away. Step into the light of grace. Yesterday’s a closing door. You don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been and tell your heart to beat again. Let every heartbreak and every scar be a picture that reminds you Who has carried you this far. ‘Cause love sees farther than you ever could. In this moment Heaven’s working everything for your good. {Danny Gokey}