Everything changed for the better this night on the thirty year anniversary of her death. Maybe she wasn’t really the devil incarnate … or evil … or my enemy. Maybe she was only ever meant to be the ying to my other Grandma’s yang and one of my greatest lessons in forgiveness, power, and grace of all. For that, I say this:
Grandma, if you can hear me, maybe I had this all wrong? I, of all people, know EXACTLY what it’s like to be a little girl hiding in grown woman’s body so desperately far away from The Sun. Maybe it really IS true that “hurt people HURT people”, and that you, like me, did the best that you could to just SURVIVE.
I’m sorry. SO sorry! Please forgive me for all of the things I’ve thought in my head, and worse yet, the many AWFUL words about you that I put out into the atmosphere. Hey, who knows? Maybe I’ll see, you, too, on the brighter side of all this GREY. I love you.
(PS) If you happen to see my baby, my husband, my Grandma Mary, and my GRANDPA, tell them all that I love them!
(PSS) Oh, and one last thing. If you happened to be watching us through your telescope, perhaps you saw this, too, today? It would appear that THIS, of all Christmas Eves since you left, was meant for some OTHER miracles of forgiveness, power, and grace, too …