DECEMBER 6, 2016: “The Anthem Of The Angels” …

Last night I had an epiphany and yet another piece of my puzzle fell safely into place. I spent many a summer with this beautiful woman. I wasn’t as physically close to her as many of my cousins, but have always been extremely fond of her. I was raised Roman Catholic, yet SHE was the one who first taught me about Jesus and that I could have a personal relationship with Him no matter what “church” I either did or didn’t dwell in, and that “just because you can’t see Him, it doesn’t mean He isn’t there.” IT WAS SHE THAT PLANTED THAT MUSTARD SEED IN MY PSYCHE SO MANY YEARS AGO! SHE taught me that it doesn’t really matter what anyone thinks of you, because at the end of the day, it’s between you, yourself, and the Lord to judge and hold you accountable (although years of self torture and cowering to “what people would think” occurred before I began to practice this preaching). SHE taught me that just because a woman is “divorced” it doesn’t mean that God will never forgive her or that she has to accept the accompanying guilt, shame and stigma that society and even her own family may burden her with. Most importantly, SHE taught me that it’s not the “things” in our lives that matter most – it’s what we learn from our life lessons and mistakes, our faith in God, and the people we love, trust and walk beside in our journeys that do. In short, SHE taught me about living with true conviction in my heart. SHE also taught me to be stubborn and feisty, and “O-M-SHE” … THAT’S WHERE I GOT IT!

Grandma, for as long as I am lucky enough to be alive here on this Earth, you will always be that warm bowl of Cream Of Wheat I eat on a crisp, cool Winter’s morning with my toast and a hot cup of coffee, and never will I part with this “seen better days” Scrabble board I treasure that we played together countless of times. And now that I think of it, I just realized that when I started this post I opened with the exactly wrong words. What I should have said was:

Last night I had an epiphany and yet another beautiful TILE fell safely into place in the Scrabble board that is my life!

It’s okay Grandma. We’re ready for you to take this game to the next, BEST level of all! It’s unbearable watching you suffer this way, so, to you we sing the Anthem Of The Angels …

White walls surround us. No light will touch your face again. Rain taps the window as we sleep among the dead. Days go on forever, but I have not left your side. We can chase the dark together. If you go then so will I. There is nothing left of you. I can see it in your eyes. Sing the anthem of the angels and say the last goodbye. Cold light above us. Hope fills the heart and fades away. Skin white as winter, as the sky returns to gray. Days go on forever, but I have not left your side. We can chase the dark together, if you go then so will I. {Breaking Benjamin}

~ MARY C. REYES ~

January 4, 1924 ~ December 15, 2016