FEBRUARY 23, 2021: “In The Living Years” …

I’m don’t think anything has hit me quite as hard as this quote in quite some time. And for the record, this little “life hack” doesn’t just apply to close family and loved ones, it applies to our friends as well. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again …

CHECK ON YOUR PEOPLE!

Yes, I know – we’re ALL fucking busy. We ALL have issues and feel like we’re drowning at times. I get it, I do! I mean, HELLO? Have you met me? Don’t make bullshit excuses! Inconvenience yourself if, damnit! Make the damn call or send the text …

Hi there! I’m not calling for a favor. I don’t have a question. I don’t need you to listen to my latest crisis. I just want you to know that you matter and I’m glad you exist!

Trust me when I say that there’s NEVER a bad time to reach out to someone you love. Also? It’s the right thing to do. Still can’t find the time? Still too busy with your “crisis”? Well, then close your eyes right this second and imagine yourself standing over their grave!

Damn, I wish I would have called them. I wonder if they really knew that they mattered?

There you have it, folks! There’s “NO TIME” like the present, and once all that time you could never find to spare for your people is gone – YA JUST CAN’T GET IT BACK!

If you’re a natural born taker, and not so much a giver, I get it, and can even appreciate it. There really is a place for both sides of the giver/taker coin, if not to exist solely as “ying” to another’s “yang”. I mean, how would anyone what “selfless” looks like if we didn’t know know what “selfish” looks like, too? Ya can’t see a light without the darkness behind it. It’s both practical logic and sobering, hard core truth. But here’s another even harder core truth …

One day you may just find yourself in that very lonely hour saying, “Wait! Where are my people? For God’s sake, WHO ARE MY PEOPLE? This is usually right about the time you start thinking about all the times you showed up for everyone else … even when your own cards were down, and going, Wow! What the fuck? REALLY?

Is it an evil necessary? SURE! Again, with the “light and the dark”. But it’s never too late to switch lanes and really get in the often inconvenient habit of putting your people into perspective and not taking them for granted before the day comes that they are gone.

And by the way, the pain we feel at a loved one’s death can be just as awful as the pain of existing here on Earth with someone you’re theoretically dead to. The phone rings both ways folks, and even the givingest of the givers have their limits. Sooner or later, we learn that though we may still love someone, we have to love them from afar, because our time, effort, and energy are way too valuable to spend on someone who takes our value for granted. Been there. Done that. With each passing day, I’m killing off living people left and right.

IN THE LIVING YEARS

Every generation blames the one before, and all of their frustrations come beating on your door. I know that I’m a prisoner to all my Father held so dear. I know that I’m a hostage to all his hopes and fears. I just wish I could have told him in the living years. Oh, crumpled bits of paper filled with imperfect thought. Stilted conversations – I’m afraid that’s all we’ve got. You say you just don’t see it – he says it’s perfect sense. You just can’t get agreement in this present tense. We all talk a different language talking in defense. Say it loud, say it clear. You can listen as well as you hear. It’s too late when we die to admit we don’t see eye to eye. So we open up a quarrel between the present and the past. We only sacrifice the future – it’s the bitterness that lasts. So don’t yield to the fortunes you sometimes see as fate. It may have a new perspective on a different day. And if you don’t give up, and don’t give in, you may just be okay. So say it loud, say it clear. I was e there that morning my Father passed away. I didn’t get to tell him all the things I had to say. I think I caught his spirit later that same year. I’m sure I heard his echo in my baby’s new born tears. I just wish I could have told him in the living years. {Mike & The Mechanics}

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