JULY 23, 2020: “Closer To The Heart” …


And the men who hold high places must be the ones who start to mold a new reality closer to the heart … The blacksmith and the artist reflect it in their art. They forge their creativity closer to the heart. Yes, closer to the heart … Philosophers and plowmen – each must know his part to sow a new mentality closer to the heart … You can be the captain and I will draw the chart sailing into destiny closer to the heart. {Rush}

And once again I am overwhelmed with overwhelmingness, which is a good thing of course! Tonight, I’m trying to catch back up with myself here at my desk. So, with that …

I dropped Gia and a friend at the mall today to get them out of the house and let her spend some of her birthday haul. When I picked them up, they jumped in the car with a small boatload of shopping bags each.

Whoa, looks like you both did some damage I see! What did you get?

Oh but WAIT until you see Mom! I’ll do the unveiling when we get home!

When we got home, she excitedly started the “unveiling”, saving the best three items for last. As she pulled them out of their respective bags, my heart literally lept out of my chest! Batman, Venom, and “A Farewell To Kings” vinyl with one of my favorite Rush songs EVER … “Closer To The Heart”. She is her mother’s daughter! Let me explain …

BATMAN! Have you heard anything I’ve said? He is and always will be my favorite superhero ever (though technically he’s not a “superhero”)! He’s a mortal man born with no magic powers who epitomizes the endless possibilities of the human spirit and metamorphosis under even the most dismal conditions. He’s the benchmark of achievement through heart, soul, discipline and determination – the juxtaposition of “light to dark”, “positive to negative” and “ying to yang”. BATMAN BECAME WHO HE WANTED TO BECOME BY PULLING HIMSELF OUT OF HIMSELF FOR THE BETTERMENT OF ALL MANKIND! So, yes, HOLY SMOKES BATMAN! She knows what I know, and Batman is her favorite superhero too. We both have capes by the way. You just can’t see them …


VENOM! Again, have you heard anything I’ve said? Let me fill you in on the “Venom” of it all by first clarifying who he is. There’s a great deal of debate in the Spider-Man community in this regard. “Is Venom also Spider-Man? Is he just Venom? Or, is he both?” Factually, the Venom movie has no correlation to Spider-Man, but within the Marvel comics it’s complicated.

Venom made his first appearance in 1984 as a new Spider-Man suit the “Secret Wars” storyline when Spider-Man came into possession of a mysterious new black suit that gave him extra powers, which suit is later revealed to be a malevolent alien symbiote that attached itself to Peter Parker. Although Peter soon rid himself of the suit because of it’s inherently evil nature and propensity to channel an inner darkness inside himself that he doesn’t want to channel, the symbiote ended up bonding with Eddie Brock, a reporter with a serious grudge against Spider-Man. Eddie Brock and the black suit then became symbiotically bonded as Venom. So then, no, Venom is not Spider-Man. “The suit”, however, does to me represent the dark alter ego of Spider-Man. It’s a thick, black, suffocative web of enmeshed and entangled emotions that overtakes and chokes the life out of its host, much like the one I fought so desperately to get the HELL off of me for more than forty years, the one my son still wears, and the one my beautiful husband was wearing as he slipped away into the abyss. “The Greatest Battle Lies Within” and the accompanying “Venom of it all” are so much more than words and comic book movie characters to me. And my daughter feels the same way!

… and finally …

“CLOSER TO THE HEART”! I’ve always loved this album. “A Farewell To Kings“? Of course there’s not a bit of irony with this in the “circadian life” I live, nor a need for me to go any further with this, as the words speak volumes all on their own. Sufficed to say, her little shopping spree today brought us even closer than we already are.


THANK YOU! For everything! The good. The bad. The ying. The yang. The pain. The beauty. The gifts You sent that I had to give back. THANK YOU FOR THE VENOM SUIT I HAD TO WEAR FOR ALL THOSE YEARS! Taking it off and finally being free wouldn’t have seemed so powerful if I hadn’t gotten to wear it in the first place. And thank you for the cape you wove for me as I’m flyin’ through Gotham tryin’ to be a Light in all this Dark! With each passing day I’m growing closer to YOUR heart most of all!

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