It was January of 1997 the first time I heard it while attending the first Bible study I’d ever been to in my life in a dear friend’s living room after I’d finally met the REAL Jesus I’d never really known outside of seeing the 30-foot tall crucified version of Him hanging over the altar at my Catholic elementary school.
Sadly, this was during a very fragile time in my life when I was still tortured by my abhorrent reflection in a mirror, having just come off the tail end of an unsuccessful attempt to end my own life on November 8, 1996 after a toxic entanglement with the second undiagnosed DSM-5 textbook malignant narcissist of my life straight from literal Hell. The first, of course, was my “father“, who for the longest time I correlated to God, so, of course I was scared to actual death of Him AND the FARTHEST thing from feeling truly “lovable” by anyone, much less myself. During that Bible study, the lights went down quietly so we could immerse ourselves in “the song of the night”. It was a moment that still gives me the chills and reduces me to tears to think about, and I will never forget the first time I heard those MOST impeccably strung together words:
These lonely hours like a fire refining, something that’s precious, something that’s shining. There in the darkness surrounded by coals, it’s starting to glow … and I think I see gold!
IT WAS HIM!
It was GOD singing those words to me that night, and although it was almost two full decades before I finally came to terms with EXACTLY “what, who, when, and where” I am when I look into the glass, which is “Nothing, Everything, ALL OF IT!” … fearfully, wonderfully, and IMPERFECTLY made in the MOST magnificent Father’s image that any child could be made in!
I’ve been listening to this song often for going on 28 years – even on my good days – as one of my “survival” tools. I’ve actually already Diaried it. So, if you’re someone reading this right now who’s let some mortal man or woman’s deflection of you believe you’re anything less than an actual brick of gold, please listen to it in a dark, quiet place and REMEMBER WHO YOU ARE! All that fire you’ve had to walk through was never meant to destroy you … it was meant to BURNISH and REFINE you! YOU’RE His favorite, too, by the way! You see, God’s kinda cool like that, and no one gets left in the ashes on His watch!
~ The Real GOLDEN Cat!
The Diary Of My Perfection 
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