FEBRUARY 11, 2021: “Right NOW!” …

… aaaaaand, all I have to say TODAY, is … best damn quote I’ve heard in a long time! Had to memorialize it in “a little bitta black, a little bitta white, and a LOTTA bitta grey”.

RIGHT NOW

Don’t wanna wait ’til tomorrow. Why put it off another day? One by one, little problems build up and stand in our way. Oh! One step ahead, one step behind it. Now you gotta run to get even. Make future plans – I’ll dream about yesterday. Hey! Come on turn, turn this thing around. (Right now!) Hey – it’s your tomorrow. (Right now!) Come on, it’s everything! (Right now!) Catch your magic moment. Do it right here and now. It means everything! Miss a beat, you lose the rhythm, and nothin’ falls into place. Aah! Only missed by a fraction. Slipped a little off your pace. Oh! The more things you get, the more you want. Just trade in one for another. Workin’ so hard to make it easy. Whoa! Got to turn! Come on! Turn this thing around! (Right now.) Hey – it’s your tomorrow. (Right now!) Come on, it’s everything! (Right now!) Catch your magic moment. Do it right here and now. It means everything! It’s enlightened me – right now! WHAT ARE YOU WAITIN’ FOR? {Van Halen}

FEBRUARY 10, 2021: “Hear Me NOW!” …

This afternoon, this exceptionally beautiful man I follow posted something so powerful, poignant, and relevant to yet another absolutely insane, if not mind-numbing trauma that “what’s what’s left of my little family” went through late last night and into the wee hours of the morning. His name is Tommy Vext, and yes he’s a musician, but note that it’s not how I first referenced him. I said, “beautiful man”, not “beautiful musician”, because if I’ve learned anything about myself in the last 540 days, as well as the last 52 years overall, it’s that I couldn’t give TWO SHITS about someone’s fame, fortune, or status. No offense to anyone “famous, fortunate, or STATELY”, but that’s just not how I roll. I’m all about the grey as far as the footprint we leave behind, and ZERO do “fame and fortune” have to do with a legacy of love.

This is what he posted …

… then he dropped this except from a writer who I never even knew existed until today:

Our basic recovery concept that never loses its power to work miracles is the concept called acceptance. We do not achieve acceptance in a moment. We often have to work through a mirage of feelings—sometimes anger, outrage, shame, self-pity, or sadness. But if acceptance is our goal, we will achieve it. What is more freeing than to laugh at our weaknesses and to be grateful for our strengths? To know the entire package called “us” —with all our feelings, thoughts, tendencies, and history—is worthy of acceptance and brings healing feelings. To accept our circumstances is another miraculous cure. For anything to change or anyone to change, we must first accept ourselves, others, and the circumstance exactly as they are. Then, we need to take it one step further. We need to become grateful for ourselves or our circumstances. We add a touch of faith by saying, “I know this is exactly the way it’s supposed to be for the moment.” No matter how complicated we get, the basics never lose their power to restore us to sanity.

{Melody Beattie ~ “Acceptance“}

HIS RESPONSE:

Today, God, help me practice the concept of acceptance in my life. Help me accept others, my circumstances, and myself. Take me one step further, and help me feel grateful.

{Tommy Vext @Instagram}

… at which point all I could say was:

ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?

What’s with this Cosmos always serving me these breakthroughs when I’m either driving, or sitting in a parking lot, or simply staring into the fog? It’s one of the most fucked up and AWESOME enigmas of my life! I’m not gonna lie … after the trauma that was visited upon us all last night at hands of someone who claims to “love us” … TODAY WE ARE SHAKEN TO THE CORE! Worse yet, it was my poor fucking son who’s trying SO hard to rise up and “love himself” out of that familiarly gifted Venom suit who bore the brunt of it ALL! Sooner or later, you know I’ll dig in to that, but in the meantime: I NEEDED THESE WORDS TODAY! Yes, God, PLEASE help me not to veer off the path of acceptance regardless of how painful the circumstances.

Can I just say this? Leave it to Destiny to show up right on time as is always par for my course. With that, I once again say I AM THE MOST blessed woman alive in this extraordinary lifetime I was lucky enough to be chosen to live! As for this song? While on the surface it appears to be a love song, tonight I sing it out loud, as if God was actually singing it to me Himself, because I deserve to hear EVERY word of this song from the one Father who’s never let me down. If you’re reading this right now, it is my true prayer that you too remember to love and accept yourself and your circumstances without condition always!

HEAR ME NOW

I’m at the bottom, can you come let me up? ‘Cause I brought a flower for you. Your friends are faded – let me fill up your cup and toast to the stars over the ocean’s flowing emotions in the air. I don’t wanna live for nothing. Just wanna be something. I never knew what it took to win. I don’t wanna live for nothing. Just wanna be something. I never knew we’d be more than friends. We spin the bottle till we’re kissing our cups. Felt like I’d die for you. You can’t explain it, it’s been years since we’ve touched, and I’ve waited none for you. I don’t wanna live for nothing. Just wanna be something. I never knew what it took to win. I don’t wanna live for nothing. Just wanna be something. I never knew we’d be more than friends. Come let me up. Can you hear me now? About half a block away out. Can you hear me now? The ocean’s flowing emotions in the air. I don’t wanna live for nothing. Just wanna be something. {Bad Wolves}

AUGUST 22, 2019 (Just Before “Quarter ‘Til Midnight”): “The Last Resort” …

~ A KING’S LAST WORDS ~
“I never should have been born … please forgive me”.

Cut my life into pieces … this is my last resort. Suffocation. No breathing. Don’t give a fuck if I cut my arm bleeding. This is my last resort.

Cut my life into pieces. I’ve reached my last resort. Suffocation. No breathing. Don’t give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding. Do you even care if I die bleeding? Would it be wrong? Would it be right? If I took my life tonight? Chances are that I might. Mutilation out of sight, and I’m contemplating suicide. ‘Cause I’m losing my sight. Losing my mind. Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine. Losing my sight. Losing my mind. Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine. I never realized I was spread too thin ’til it was too late and I was empty within. Hungry, feeding on chaos and living in sin. Downward spiral, where do I begin?

IT ALL STARTED WHEN I LOST MY MOTHER.

No love for myself and no love from another. Searching to find a lover on a higher level. Finding nothing but questions and devils. ‘Cause I’m losing my sight. Losing my mind. Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine. Losing my sight. Losing my mind. Wish somebody would tell me I’m fine. Nothing is alright. Nothing is fine. I’m running, and I’m cryin’.

I’m cryin’. I’m cryin’. I’m cryin’. I’m cryin’. I can’t go on living this way.

Cut my life into pieces. This is my last resort. Suffocation, no breathing. Don’t give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding. Would it be wrong? Would it be right? If I took my life tonight? Chances are that I might. Mutilation out of sight, and I’m contemplating suicide.

{Papa Roach cover by Tommy Vext}

~ The Back Side Of “The Note” ~
… The Last Page From “The Springfield” …