DECEMBER 31, 2012: “What It Really Means To Have EVERYTHING” …

TPMU

This Friday, Zack and I closed escrow on a brand new house for a dear friend and client. At almost 50, this GODLY, Nigerian man from London, England who’d been saving every penny for years finally got himself a piece of the “American dream”! There are no words to describe the look of pride, accomplishment, and gratitude on his face at the last signed closing document, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just done. He was like a little boy sitting in front of a tower of presents on Christmas morning! It was hard for me not to cry, but indeed I resisted, because this was his moment, not mine. He’d been living at his brother’s since having arrived from London three years ago. He’s a simple man of meager means, but after the closing Zack said to him:

So, when’s the big move? Can we arrange to get a truck or help in any way?
Oh, no truck necessary, friend. With the exception of my mattress and a small bedside table, everything I own will fit in my car.
Wait! What? You don’t have anything?
Oh, please don’t worry! My God has blessed me with a brand new house with a brand new roof to keep me warm and dry, and I have PLENTy of food to eat. I have the rest of my life to fill my beautiful new home with all the “things” I know God will provide.

With that, Zack and I both left feeling sick to our stomachs and wishing we had a million dollars to just zap him a home filled with “things”. Later that day, Zack shared the situation with his best friend, Rick, who generously gifted our client with a beautiful dinette. Such a blessing! So, we picked it up and headed to Tony’s with the surprise. He answered the door of his very empty house – and when I say empty – I mean empty! 1,700 empty square feet, except for the mattress on the floor in his bedroom, some blankets, pillows, a nightstand, two lamps, some pots, pans and some dishes.

Meanwhile, can I just tell you how genuinely happy this man is for all that he has been given? He said, “I’m not missing a thing”, and let me assure you that he meant it! He is just as content with his mattress on the floor as any of us would be with so much more.

Those of you who know me well know the some of the struggles I’ve overcome, not the least of which is that I was once a girl who had every “thing” a girl could want, yet still had nothing at all. I walked away from the life of a princess in hopes of finding not only myself, but more so than that, the truth. I didn’t quite get to the point where I had to live under a bridge, I do now know how it feels to be “homeless and broke”. More importantly, however, I now know what it means to “lose much but gain all“. I am SO beyond grateful for every single “thing” I have in my once again flourishing life, both tangible and intangible, and I thank God every single second of every single day for every breath that I am given.

Ironically, this client of ours is a clerk at the dry cleaner we patron. Not once in the years that I’ve known him has he failed to greet me with a smile. “How are you this blessed day my dear Catherine?” He watched my life go from better, to worse, to “EVERYTHING”! First, I’d rolled up in a hundred thousand dollar car, encrusted with diamonds, to an old Ford pick-up truck worth $500 bucks at most, and me just barely hanging on. All the while he was such an encouragement to me – always kind, always positive, and always reminding me to “keep my eyes upon the Cross and remember what’s most important … MY God, my health and my family”!

The day I passed my Texas real estate exam, I just so happened to stop by the dry cleaners on the way home. After my Husband, Sister and Son, he was the fourth human being I told, “I DID IT”! He literally almost cried tears of joy for me!

YOU SEE! I TOLD YOU YOU COULD DO IT! YOU HAD NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF!

And a few weeks later when I got finally got my business cards? Yup! You guessed it! I happened to stop by the cleaners! He was the first human being who I ever handed my card to! I truly believe this man is an angel in my life, and we are SO blessed to now call him friend and “family”!

DECEMBER 25, 2011: “A Man Of His Word” …

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If you loved someone, you loved him, and when you had nothing else to give, you still gave him love.

{George Orwell}

Merry Christmas Catherine!

Catherine I hope you know how much I love you and the things I plan for you. I know you have not had many princess moments so far but I WILL change that this year. I want to build you a castle of stone and brick, buy you the finest things money can buy and I want everyone to you how special you are as a person and to me. I want everyone to envy us, not for our money but for how great our relationship is and how much I do for you. Though we may not get to spend as much time together this year I promise you that I will make it the best times we have ever had together. I know I am flawed but I am go to do everything I can to be the perfect husband. I will forgive you for all your mistakes if you will forgive me for mine, so that is going to require a lot of forgiving from you! Today is Christmas you know and who was better at forgiving than Jesus? All I want is for us to be happy this year this year baby and I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. You are my princess and I will show you that this year. I am going to make you feel more special than you have ever felt. Catherine I love you please accept this promise with the gifts I got you.

Merry Christmas baby.

MAY 25, 2009: “Vindication” …

Hope, dangles on a string …

It happened on a Monday night at a hole in the wall pizza joint in McKinney, Texas, called Brooklyn’s Pizza. I could tell something was off with him and wasn’t quite sure what to make of it, but had chalked it up to stress and just tried to lighten the mood by being silly.

After he’d finished ordering our pizza, he returned to the table with a “look” on his face of something serious. For a minute, I thought he was about to say something along the lines of, “this relationship is just too much for me and I think it would be best if we go our separate ways.”

But then …

I remember it like it was yesterday and can still see his face, hear his voice, and feel the moment his hands reached across the table for mine:

So, listen, I need to talk to you …

(… at which point my stomach dropped …)

… do know that I love you, right?

(… and then I laughed back at him …)

Oh, so, you LOVE me, huh? Well I love ya too, Williamson!

Catherine, please! This isn’t meant to be funny. Be serious for a minute and listen. I don’t just ‘love ya’. I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU! I’ve tried to picture my life without you in it, but I can’t. So, yah, I kinda REALLY love you.

All I can remember after that is my jaw literally hitting the table. And, of course, me crying like a little girl. I’d already beaten him to that punch, of course, when I’d figured out that I loved him while I was away at The Meadows. The first morning I woke there to any sense of coherency, I knew it:

I LOVED HIM!

But you see, I had long since resolved myself to the fact that we would never work “that way” under the circumstances, and was okay just being friends. Even still, he was important to me. He’d already become my eyes, my ears, and the beating in my heart, but now he’d become my Williamson. It was a “vindication” for both of us and the first day of the rest of our lives. That Godforsaken black suit I’d been wearing since the day that I was born began falling to the ground in glorious tatters.

VINDICATED

Hope dangles on a string like slow-spinning redemption. Winding in and winding out, the shine of it has caught my eye. And roped me in so mesmerizing so hypnotizing. I am captivated. I am – Vindicated. I am selfish. I am wrong. I am right, I swear I’m right. Swear I knew it all along and I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well. I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself. So clear like the diamond in your ring. Cut to mirror your intention. Oversized and overwhelmed, the shine of which has caught my eye. And rendered me so isolated. So motivated. I am certain now that I am – Vindicated. I am selfish. I am wrong. I am right, I swear I’m right. Swear I knew it all along and I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well. I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself. So turn up the corners of your lips. Part them and feel my fingertips. Trace the moment, fall forever. Defense is paper thin. Just one touch and I’d be in too deep now to ever swim against the current. So let me slip away. So let me slip away. So let me slip away. So let me slip against the current. I am – Vindicated. I am selfish. I am wrong. I am right, I swear I’m right. Swear I knew it all along and I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well. I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself. {Dashboard Confessional}