Zachariah,

If you can hear or see me from wherever you are, and I’m surviving right now due in large part to my true faith that that you can, I want you to know that I love you. I Miss you. I FORGIVE YOU. I would NOT have made it to this crossroad in my journey without you, and you and I both know it’s true. I will never forget you, or replace you, nor dishonor, disgrace or disassemble the infinite trove of tools, gifts, strengths, and beauty that you and ONLY YOU had the patience, courage and foresight to help find buried deep within myself. You helped me find my reflection in a mirror where I once only saw a faceless monster, and turned me into a queen. That, my king, is something only you shall get the credit for. You refused to give up on me no matter how hard I made you try, and not a day will go by while I’m roaming this earth without you that I won’t pray to God that you’re STILL behind me silently pushing me like only you can do. There is so much work to be done here now, and I’m going to make you proud while my life continues to go on. Every day for the rest of my life I will count these darkened ashes piled beneath our feet and rise so far above them that it will be IMPOSSIBLE for them not to hear “our” voices.

If my wish has come true, you’ve safely made it to The Brighter Side Of Grey with your broken heart in one piece to The One parent whose intention was never to forsake you through all the loneliness and heartache you suffered in your lifetime. I’m hoping that not only have you gone and found my daughter by now, but that you’ve also caught up with that handsome Cajun boy you heard so much about who stole the first real piece of my heart and rode off with it in his “blaze of glory”. Don’t think that I will EVER forget how you not only welcomed him and everything he was, but even more so embraced him for all that I was because of what he’d brought into my world and let me carry him on our journey together. Few are the men that are capable of such selflessness and living with my ghosts the way that you did is one of the things I’ve thanked God for the most. I know that you’ll all be waiting hand in hand for me until I get there, a moment I literally picture in my mind quite often. So, until that day comes when I can see you all again, I love you more than words. Forever. Eternally. Unconditionally.

~ Catherine

BECAUSE YOU LOVED ME

For all those times you stood by me. For all the truth that you made me see. For all the joy you brought to my life. For all the wrong that you made right. For every dream you made come true. For all the love I found in you. I’ll be forever thankful baby. You’re the one who held me up and never let me fall. You’re the one who saw me through through it all. You were my strength when I was weak. You were my voice when I couldn’t speak. You were my eyes when I couldn’t see. You saw the best there was in me. Lifted me up when I couldn’t reach. You gave me faith ’cause you believed. I’m everything I am because you loved me. You gave me wings and made me fly. You touched my hand I could touch the sky. I lost my faith; you gave it back to me. You said no star was out of reach. You stood by me, and I stood tall. I had your love I had it all. I’m grateful for each day you gave me. Maybe I don’t know that much, but I know this much is true. I was blessed because I was loved by you. You were always there for me. The tender wind that carried me. A light in the dark shining your love into my life. You’ve been my inspiration. Through the lies you were the truth. My world is a better place because of you.”  {Celine Dion}