“You spoke a word and life began. Told oceans where to start and where to end. You set in motion time and space. But still You come and You call to me by name. But still You come and You call to me by name. If You can hold the stars in place, You can hold my heart the same. Whenever I fall away. Whenever I start to break. So here I am, lifting up my heart to The One who holds the stars. The deepest depths, the darkest nights. Can’t separate, can’t keep me from Your sight. I get so lost, forget my way. But still You love and You don’t forget my name. If You can hold the stars in place, You can hold my heart the same. Whenever I fall away. Whenever I start to break. So here I am, lifting up my heart to The One who holds the stars. If You can calm the raging sea, You can calm the storm in me. You’re never too far away. You never show up too late. So here I am, lifting up my heart to The One who holds the stars. Your love has called my name. What do I have to fear? What do I have to fear? Your love has called my name. What do I have to fear? What do I have to fear? ~ Skillet
Gia and I watched “The Shack” again last night, which by the way, if you haven’t ever seen it, I highly recommend that you do! It’s the story of a fictional tragedy that causes a father to crash into a dark depression and question everything about his faith until he receives a mysterious letter that insights his journey to “a shack” that reignites his bludgeoned soul back to The Truth.
When it first hit the box office in March of 2017 we went as a family to watch it – Zack, me, Gia and Christian. I had already read the book when I was at The Meadows and then again on one of my truck-driving scoots up to Kansas, but when I heard about the movie release I immediately secured our tickets because I just needed them all had to see it. It was a powerful night for the four of us together and like many others in the theatre that night we all just sat silently in our tears until well after the lights came on and the clean-up crew started their sweep. It seemed to hit Christian the hardest of all and at one point the three of us were all huddled around him in his seat just holding him as he literally was sobbing his eyes out. So yes, it hits you, just like that, and again, I can’t say it enough: If you havent seen it? GO SEE IT!
Meanwhile, one of the most powerful parts of the movie for me was this song I love called “Stars”. It’s about blind faith and how if you are a true believer, you trust that God is in control of everything. Hands down. Without question. Without hesitation. Without a doubt. HE’S GOT THIS! But not just the big things, the little things too, which I’m not gonna lie, even on my strongest days in The Light I too “forget to remember” that nothing happens by chance. Well, I take that back. I used to forget to remember. The old me. The scared and scarred me. The “I know He’s here but why is He just so mean” me. (Yes, that’s really what I used to think.) It took a long time for my mustard seed to grow into tree, which too was perfectly okay, because a mustard seed is all He ever asked for.
Whether you know me well or have just joined my journey, by now I’m sure you’ve noticed that am a gamut of emotions that can often mimic a gauntlet. I can be kind and loving, empathetic and caring, and fiercely protective of those who are in my bubble. I can also be a raging, angry, LUNATIC of a bitch with a vicious tongue that will take you to your knees if you’re the one facing the truth behind my words in a mirror. I will forgive anything 200% of the time but never forget those who hurt me or mine. My point being that although I can appear dark at times, and as God Himself is my witness, I live, breathe and will die by the message of Hope in this song. So please don’t let my dark side poke holes in my testimony. At the end of the day I’m still just a broken person who wants to live a life of use to others and tries her best to be as “Light” as possible under any circumstance but still screws up and gets bitter.
If you are struggling with brokenness, depression or “darkness” of your own please listen to this song. God may have His hands full with all the big stuff, but He does know who you are. He does know your name. He does bear your pain. He does cry when you cry. Look at me people! Shouldn’t I be curled up in a ball right now? Been there. Done that. I’ve run off and hid in “my shack” too many times to count, but He comes looking for me every time. He always has and always will. HE’S GOT THIS PEOPLE! And that, my friends, is The Truth.