Three total strangers at the restaurant where we had my son’s birthday dinner tonight said I had “a really infectious energy”, and as we were leaving, one of our waitstaff quickly pulled me aside and said, “You have such a happy spirit, girl. You make me smile!” I almost cried! So, on the drive home alone, I shut off my radio and allowed myself the safe and quiet space to think out loud and just talk to myself. Lol! Yes, I even answered myself back!
How, Catherine? HOW? How in the actual ‘you’ve survived HELL‘ are you not a miserable, jaded, toxic fucking bitch? How do you still smile? How do you still laugh? How are you still so happy? How do you always manage to turn shit storms into sunshine and chaos into creation?
Umm, DUH! Have you MET you? You’re a positively infectious QUEEN, because it’s what you CHOOSE to be!
Indeed, this is the conversation “me and me” had. Guess what? IT’S TRUE! I do have a genuinely happy spirit. I own, cherish, revel in, and embrace it! Meanwhile, if you could be inside my skin and feel how I feel right now, you would think I just won Miss Universe.
If I’m not meant to “walk on” through another 86,400 seconds tomorrow, knowing I’ve made some people in my path feel “positively infected” means I’m living a life of use to others. What if someone who crossed my path tonight is barely hanging on and my “infection” was a glimmer of Light in their darkness? What if one of them really needed someone to make them smile?
Beauty fades, folks, AND IT WILL, but not only does the energy we put out into the atmosphere not fade away, it will linger on infinitely long after our mortal bodies are but ashes returned to the ground. Thank you, Jesus, that I hi hi got my energy right, ’cause being a “good infection” in a all too often toxic world is all want to be. I want to leave this place and the people I meet along my way better than I found them.
Although I had already used this song that has infected my soul since first hearing it over twenty years ago, it wasn’t until my “quiet drive home” last night that one of the lines literally crawled up my spine in every best way possible, and fully circled its way back around to me:
You’re packing a suitcase for a place none of us has been … a place that has to be believed to be seen. You could have flown away, a singing bird in an open cage who will only fly, only fly for freedom. What you got you can’t deny it, can’t sell it or buy it. Walk on. Walk On!
Little did I know that one day I’d look back and finally understand that the reason I ever loved it in the first place was because someday I would actually be the little birdie in the song. What I’ve got, I can’t deny it, can’t sell it, or buy it. All I can do is just keep walking on in all my inner beauty, power, and grace, always flying Home to the freedom I’ve found in my infectious soul and making everyone around me as positively sick as I possibly can.
Tonight, I’ll sleep in such sweet peace, as the most blessed queen of the world! Kinda like “Glinda The GOOD Witch”, but instead, I’m “REAL Cat The Beautifully INFECTIOUS Bitch!” Besides, “all I get to KEEP is all I share!” So, I’m just gonna stay contagious and keep sharing my infection!