Although I do believe it’s “possible” for childhood trauma to be “repaired”, I do not believe that the resulting residual or collateral damage can ever be “reversed”. Under optimal circumstances and with a healthy support system, if a person can first revisit, acknowledge, and accept the trauma itself, it is possible that they can then attain the coping skills and mechanisms necessary to carry them through their adulthood “if and when” the trauma rears it’s head. You can forgive, accept, acknowledge and even make peace with it … BUT … you can never forget or erase it. As an adult survivor of childhood trauma of my own, I speak from experience in this regard. Thankfully, however, I did.
Unfortunately, I also have first hand experience on the flip side of this coin; that is, “irreversible childhood trauma”. My husband, who I recently lost to suicide this past August 22, 2019, suffered from extreme childhood trauma that sadly proved to be the death of him. He was larger than life with a heart the size of an ocean, but had been thrown away like garbage by his “mother THING” at birth. She abandoned him permanently at 18 months, and although his father did the best he could, he was and still is nothing but a child himself. He was left alone frequently from a very young age and his basic needs were never properly attended to.
Unfortunately, he never even realized that his “Abandoned Child Syndrome” existed until five years into our marriage, but once he was faced with the sobering truths of his childhood, every bit of strength and fortitude he’d managed to muster and thus survive with in his life of solitude before us, the first and only real home and family he’d ever had, began to slip right out from under him. The abandonment issues that led to his mental illness were further complicated by the fact that not just his mother, but his entire family abandoned him.They literally shattered his heart into pieces that could never fully be put back together.
There were demons living inside of the hole the “mother” left inside his soul that he tried desperately to swim out of it. We tried desperately to keep him from drowning in it. In the end, the demons won. The last few months of his life it appeared as though he was in the early stages of some type of dissociative psychosis, if not schizophrenia. He’d been hearing voices, seeing things, missing “blocks of time”, and ultimately just disappeared inside himself. He said “he couldn’t feel anything anymore”, and honestly, we lost him months before he put that gun to his head. It was a living nightmare to watch and the worst kind of heartbreak to witness. I appreciate any of you who are reading this by the way. It’s tough to digest, much less conceive, but the truth nonetheless. His “traumatic childhood” LITERALLY “broke his heart”.
I'm a Warrior. Motivator. SURVIVOR;
Welcome to my journey. I hope it inspires you to find The Light in your own Darkness and the voice to speak your truths.
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