JUNE 16, 2019: “The King Of The Supermen” …


Dear Superman,


No man in his right mind could have grown up dreaming of the day he’d run into mentally exhausted single mom in $35,000 worth of debt and on the verge of a nervous breakdown, but here you are standing strong and fearless, a beacon of light shining brightly behind me, my two living babies and the ghost of another, ever present, always faithful, and often at the sacrifice of yourself.

How could you have known that as you arrived to work that October day in 2008 that every plan you’d ever planned, dream you’d ever dreamt, or wish you’d ever wished for your own life, family or future was completely unraveling in that one exact moment in time?

He was standing in front of that one big window at the gym, turned his head, our eyes locked!

(“A Sky Full Of Stars In The Window“)

YOU KNOW THE REST! You made me sick, I ran away, didn’t come back for months, and so the story goes. By then it was too late, though, and little did we know that Destiny had already began weaving the fabric of “us” on Her loom. If only someone could have told you, then maybe you could have worn one of those ever-so-cliche’ expectant father t-shirts with sparkly pink letters across your chest that screamed “I’M GONNA BE A DAD! IT’S A GIRL”! Hell, you could have even passed out some cigars!

I want you to know that I am ever so aware that none of this has ever been easy for you, although to those who don’t know what really lies beneath the frosting of the beautiful cake that you are you DO make it all seem so effortless. But this job you never imagined you’d be showing up for on an equally cool night the following November came with so many unseen challenges and struggles, most of which have fallen on your shoulders without complaint.  I know we weren’t the family you were expecting – “some other guy’s leftovers”. And I’m guessing she wasn’t quite the “little pink bundle of joy” you may have once pondered welcoming into your very private world.

As for all the things you have been, done and given? You didn’t have to do ANY of them! No one ever asked you. You just did … and still do. All the tears you have cried with her. For her, and about her? They matter, and I’ve counted them all! He breaks her. You fix her. He makes excuses. You look for solutions. He hurts her. He hurts you. He lets them both down, but you keep picking them up. I suppose the defining moment as to who and what you are as a father was that morning just a few weeks ago when you were first reduced to tears at the realization of how much she has grown in the years since you first met her and how quickly time is speeding by:

I only have five years left with her, and then she’ll be going to college. It seems like a lifetime when she’s only gone for two days, so what’s going to happen when she’s gone for months at a time? And then gone for good? Even just thinking about it makes me physically ill, and I don’t know how I’ll survive it!

Meanwhile, it appears as though “dad” is just counting the minutes until he finally gets to live the life he really wants to live with the woman and her child whose words, deeds, and actions have all but slain both my children.

You’re a beautiful human being, Zachariah, and your heart’s depths knows no bounds. You could have had anything. Anyone. To this DAY I cannot understand why you’ve done the things you have done for us, and more than that, why you didn’t run as FAR away as any other man’s legs could possibly have carried him. I was so beaten down, tired, weary and ragged and had literally NOTHING to offer you whatsoever. A father who wouldn’t accept you. An ex-husband who maligned you. A pile of debt. A broken body. An empty womb. The two ghosts. And “his” kids. Still, you chose us.

I want to say thank you my true and faithful King. Thank you from the depths of my soul. You are so much of everything and then some. You’re the love of my life that I never knew I’d never had until that that moment I finally knew what the selfless, unconditional love of a man and a father was supposed to be. I know this may sound crazy, but it’s because of YOU that I now fully realize how God pours His own love into all of us. When I look at you? I see Him. You’re just a mortal man, imperfect in so many ways, but your honor, intentions, and steadfast love and devotion to this family are unwavering, and always “for better worse”.

These are your truths that are held as self-evident:

You’re the beating of our hearts, the voice that calms our fears, the words to all our songs, the hand that wipes our tears, our eyes when we can’t see, our lungs when we can’t breathe, our legs when we can’t walk, and our arms when we can’t hold ourselves upright. You have made us both believe we’re the two most treasured prizes a man could have won, and that our many flaws and weaknesses are just as beautiful as you claim we both truly are. You are the mirror we gaze into when our reflections fail us, and we are never more confident and proud than when we’re standing behind you, beside you, or with you at our backs. We belong to you Zachariah, and for some reason it was just supposed to be this way. You have given us a home … and your heart … and pretty much everything we have today. We love you more than any of my endless words could ever say.

Happy Father’s Day to the real life “Superman” we waited for so long to show up. We love you “Everyday” from now until the end of Eternity.

~ Us