The inability to receive support from others is a trauma response. Your “I don’t need anyone; I’ll just do it all myself” conditioning is a survival tactic. You needed it to shield your heart from the abuse, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment from those who could not or would not be there for you. From the parent who was absent and abandoned you, perhaps by choice. From the parent didn’t intend to abandon you but was never home because they were working three jobs to feed and house you. From the lovers who offered sexual intimacy, but never offered a safe haven to honor your heart. From friendships and family who ALWAYS took more than they ever gave. From all the situations when someone told you, “We’re in this together” or “I got you”, then, they ended up leaving you behind to pick up all the pieces when shit got real … leaving you to handle not just your part, but sometimes their part, too, in the messes that were made in your life. From all of those lies and betrayals along the way, you learned that you just really couldn’t trust people – OR – that you COULD trust people, but only up to that point when “being there for you” was convenient or not such a hassle for them.

{“The Fortress Behind These Walls“}

So, you’re that person who “doesn’t need anyone”. You have fortified yourself as a living shield against the trauma, abuse, neglect, and betrayals you’ve already suffered at the hands of the ones who were supposed to love and protect you. Oh, my battle born friend, I’ve been right where you are and know too well that THIS is how you survive in the stronghold you built all alone. Still, treasures are meant to be shared, my friends, not buried and lost forever.

So, yes, guard the keep well, but don’t you dare board up every window. You are worthy of a love that will rule the kingdom with you hand in hand, but you’re not gonna find it hiding crouched behind those walls in the dark. Find something to believe in, hold on tight to your faith, and never stop looking for The Light. Just sayin’.

So, with that, and in honor of the 10th birthday of one of THE most powerful, poignant, bittersweet and EPIC Death Punches of my lifetime, let’s revisit The Fortress and dig a little deeper into being truly “battle born” …

… unless you’re my friend, George, the 37 year old KING of the land sharks and legendary resident of the American Eagle Foundation in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. For the record, if any handsome man on the face of this planet has earned the right to run around biting peoples’ ankles, IT’S GEORGE! Lol. Sometimes I wish I could run around biting peoples’ ankles!

With that, and in honor of National Vulture Awareness Day 2023, let’s have another little “don’t be mean to vultures” chat. In case you didn’t know, vultures are one of my favorite animals, and one of the most misunderstood (a plight I know all too well).

Vultures, Cat? Eww, gross!

Don’t go there, people! We couldn’t survive without these birds with iron stomachs, lest we be consumed by the disease ridden bacteria they consume. Meanwhile, despite their relatively weak legs and feet and lack of a voice box, their “disabilities” don’t stop them from accomplishing their life’s work. Their wings and bills are mighty (they can float like feathers, yet shred dead animal steak like paper), and although they can’t sing like other birds, they manage to thrive with only primitive grunts, screeches, and hisses.

I’m so thankful for this damn bird and even more thankful that I get to live on this big blue marble with his brethren. The next time you see one cleaning up a carcass on the side of the road, PLEASE remember what you’ve learned here and think kindly of them. Besides … beauty is in the eye of the beholder, right? Well, I think George is just STUNNING!

Try as I may for the longest time to express my affection for Keanu Reeves, I have yet to find the perfect words. So, in celebration of his birthday today, I honor, celebrate, and finally give proper credence to the “Wicken” of it all in my life via this brilliant fellow Quoran, whose perfect words I’m stealing. They say everything I could have thought to say:

“I know that ones who love us will miss us.”

This is what Keanu said when Stephen Colbert asked him what happens to us when we die. He understands misery unlike anybody else in Hollywood. His dad left when he was 3. He struggled with dyslexia, attending 4 different high schools before dropping out. His best friend died of a drug overdose at 23. His girlfriend, Jennifer Syme, had a stillbirth 8 months into pregnancy. She later died in a car accident not too long after. Even with his hardships, he hasn’t let his success get to his head. He helped his sister get cured of leukemia, and since then has donated an anonymous amount of money to hospitals that treat the disease through his private charitable foundation. He’s worth over a couple hundred million dollars, but he still takes the subway. He doesn’t really have many fancy things. It is rumored that he gave up a considerable portion of his pay for the latter two Matrix films so that the stunt and design and costume teams could help make the movie as amazing as possible. Many sources claim the amount he cut from his own pay ranged just a touch above $30 million. When his flight had an emergency landing enroute to Los Angeles in Bakersfield, he not only opted to rent a large vehicle and drive the rest of the way, but he took a good number of people on the flight with him. He’s known for paying attention to detail: There is a story about him on Twitter where he bought an ice cream just to get the receipt paper so he could autograph it for a fan. He later tossed that ice cream away. He is one of the few actors who gets to know everybody working on the set of his projects. Several accounts of him genuinely asking people about their day and wellbeing. He treats everybody with the same amount of kindness. Someone on Reddit recalled a friend who was stranded on the highway outside of Los Angeles. Keanu Reeves pulled up, tried to jump the car to no success, and then drove her 50 miles out of the way to get her home. Not only that, he gave her his number to call in case she needed help with anything. When he found out one of the crew members on the set of John Wick was struggling, he gave him $20,000 as a Christmas bonus. There is another story of him giving every member of his stunt team for The Matrix a Harley Davidson.

Keanu just loves.

HE IS LOVE INCARNATE.

There is no additional component to his character. He’s stayed the same human throughout the worst and the best in his life. He’s pure … and people see that.

(Anthony Andranik Moumjian on Quora)

Quite frankly, I can think of no finer words to befit the life of “love incarnate” this living angel on Earth embodies. Meanwhile, if I could pick just four simple words to describe the legacy I’m working tirelessly to leave behind one day for not just “mine”, but anyone whose path I cross, if only for a minute, that they would emulate the words that just described Keanu:

She was love incarnate.

Happy Birthday, Dear John! I SEE YOU! May your masterpiece of love continue growing forward, outward, and upward for as long as humanity is blessed by your epic life of use to others on this Earth. You are loved, and I’m so proud to be a practicing “Wicken”.

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but never forget that most people really are attracted to things that are unaffordable, hard to get, or altogether unattainable. You aren’t just “you”, my friend … you’re the sum of all the pain, sorrow, beauty, joy, and infinite energy in this world that ever was or ever will be. You are “nothing, everything, and ALL OF IT!” … a one of a kind, limited edition, highly valuable commodity. There is NOT and will NEVER be another YOU!

It might be hard to hear, but let me tell you, dear. If you could see what I can see, I know you would believe that isn’t who you are. There’s more to who you are! So when it’s late … you’re wide awake … too much to take … don’t you dare forget that in the pain, you can be brave and safe. You can be brave, and safe. You truly ARE a rose in bloom!

Lol! Why do you think I’m so stingy with my hugs and won’t so much as let another human being touch me (unless, of course, I gave birth to them)? I refuse to run around giving free access to the TEMPLE that shrouds my soul to just anyone.

So, with that, don’t you dare be giving what you have to just anyone, and never give it away for free! Learn your value, THEN ADD TAX, because your time, energy, and electricity are PRICELESS!

Did you know that I’m a “Quoran” writer? Since 2020, upwards of 3M people worldwide have read my MIND-BLOWING rants, raves, and theories (2.75M of whom have been agitated by my “Life According To REAL Cat” bombs). This particular answer to an age old question is one of my top movers, shakers, and agitators. Why? BECAUSE IT’S TRUE!

“SIGNS THAT SOMEONE IS A GOOD PERSON”

While there are clearly no textbook signs as to whether someone is “good”, I believe that when an animal naturally takes to someone, it’s usually a pretty good sign. This isn’t to be confused by a person who CLAIMS to love animals, as some the most wicked “things” that walk upright amongst us are masters at cunning and deception. They’re the living tricks the devil plays on us, but THAT’S another answer for another day. So, if you really want to know what lies beneath another’s skin, bring a dog to them. I’m no an animal expert, FYI, but do know that it’s widely held that, “the animals” … they know things. They sense things. They SEE what we can’t see! They’re, like, God’s little “peopmometers” that seem to be able to take the temperature of a human soul – OR – sense the ABSENCE of a soul within a “thing” that only LOOKS like a human. By the way, if MY “Lord Walter The Williamson” doesn’t like you …. NEITHER DO I! Just sayin’!

(The Real Cat Williamson On Quora)

Yeah! I really AM just sayin’!

FUR the record and in celebration of National Dog Day, I honor the reigning Lord of my life, my magnificent beast of a German Shepherd who has, unfortunately, more than proven himself to be a demon detector. I shall remain in his servitude for as long he shall live!

… that moment it’s the morning of The Mona Lisa’s 18th birthday soirée and you literally just got done asking God for another sign to let you know that the King who had to leave The Kingdom he built for his girls is, indeed, truly here in spirit for the day’s events.

Look … I know that some people think I’m crazy. I know that others think I’m a fool to believe in “signs and messages” from The Brighter Side Of Grey … and for even believing in “God” in the first place. But here’s the deal, folks …

I … don’t … CARE!

YUP! To everyone else, this is just a bug on the front door of our home, but …

When the lights go down, know that I am never far away. When the Sun burns out, I’ll be waiting on The Brighter Side Of Grey.

Okay, that’s all, folks. Me and the bug have a birthday girl to celebrate today.

… because sometimes the only thing I really have to say are the words to a song that won’t stop playing in my head. Oh, and THIS …

How lucky am I to be wandering through this beautifully twisted maze at the end of these not so lonely halls of with The One who has never let me down or “lost me”?

Hi everyone! It’s me, CAT … God’s actual favorite daughter, divine apostrophe, and the most blessed woman in the world.

“LOST“

Can I be dreaming once again? I’m reaching … helpless I descend. You lead me deeper through this maze … I’m not afraid. Your whispers fill these empty halls. I’m searching for You as you call. I’m racing … chasing after you … I need You more. I could never be the same … something that I never could erase … I could never look away.

I’m lost in You … everywhere I run … everywhere I turn … I’m finding something new. Lost in You … something I can’t fight … I cannot escape. I could spend my life lost in You. I lost myself in you! It’s all over now! Lost in you!

On this day in 2004, Breaking Benjamin released their “We Are Not Alone” album. Although I do so love every song, my hands-down favorite that I still listen to frequently is “Follow”. With that, the first thing that comes to my mind is one of the burning questions I’ve been asked a time or two over the course of the last two or three years:

So, Cat, how’s all that ancestral healing and being a Light in the dark working for ya with all your ‘lil grudges, door slams, and running away?

Lol! First of all, it’s not running away … it’s WALKING away. There’s a difference! Second of all, it’s working out PRETTY good! But, umm, and I only slam the door when the people, places, and things I’ve allowed in my space become toxic, parasitic, or worse yet, take advantage of me.

They’re called BOUNDARIES, people, not “grudges”! Of course we should strive to be loving, kind, patient, forgiving, and empathetic foremost and above all things, but not if that means throwing our good energy after bad.

Meanwhile, let’s be clear … I’m not just “me”. I’m the sum of all the pain, sorrow, joy, beauty, and infinite energy in this world that ever was or ever will be. I’m nothing … everything … ALL OF IT! I’m a enigma. I’M AN APOSTROPHE, my own magic wand, and I really am alright.

So, follow me – or don’t – ’cause not only are my time, energy, and electricity priceless, but queens don’t mind sitting at the table alone if it means not sitting at the table with people who only offer scraps. Look, it’s one thing if all someone has to offer is scraps, but a totally different scene when someone has more to offer, but not for you.

I’m losing sight … don’t count on me. I chase The Sun … it chases me. You know my name. You know my face. You’d know my heart, if you knew my place. I’ll walk straight down as far as I can go.

Guess what? This QUEEN really IS expensive and she’ll be walking straight down without some bitches every day of the rest of her life going forward. Imma bring it ALL to those who are lucky enough to be in my halo. So, they’re gonna have to bring it ALL, too, or go find some other cheap hooker SELLOUT who enjoys eating leftovers and little scraps of bullshit, ’cause I … am NOT … the one!

When in Rome“, we were fortunate to visit the remains of Pompei, the once thriving city that seems to have been eternally frozen in time by Mount Vesuvius in AD 79. It was ethereal! After the tour, we visited the nearby Cellini Gallery, where I scored this bauble made from Mount Vesuvius lava. Fashioned from the Her core, not only do these beads ground me back to Mother Earth herself, but with my ancestral roots that trace back to right there in Southern Italy, even more so do they connect me to the ancient mariners who came before me: They’re the pirates who came before me and the zephyrs in my sky who forged this path and built this mountain for me to stand on as they push me into the perpetual state of punctuation and magic I’ve become as I navigate this sea of madness. In the meantime, as I continue to soar through these golden years of mine, “I’ll be wearing steel that’s bright and true and carrying the news that must get through!

{“Risen From THEIR Ashes“}

… meanwhile, not four months later at my parents’ dinner table during a belated Father’s Day celebration, I discovered yet another ancient doorway to my past and “my cosmic skin kaleidoscope“. As it turns out, not only did some of “my people” survive and rise from ashes, they survived and rose from an earthquake, too.

I’ll kill myself if you leave me!

It seems like a no-win situation. When someone you’re close to says something like this, it can feel like the world just stopped spinning.

{“When My Partner Threatens Suicide“}

The sobering fact is that regardless of whether we ever truly know the truth behind another’s intentions, when words such as those leave another person’s lips, it’s always a cry for help.

Should’ve stayed? Were there signs I ignored? Can I help you not to hurt anymore?

{“One More Light“}

… and therein lies the problem!

While I desperately hope that his family took the information she relayed dead seriously, “emotional manipulation” or otherwise, I’m thankful she found “the serenity to accept the things she couldn’t change, the courage to change the things she could, and the wisdom to know the difference”.

If you are the parent, grandparent, teacher, or young adult caretaker of any kind, I cannot encourage you enough to take the time to educate and prepare yourself for “times like these“, and even more so, when appropriate, educate the kids in your halo about the warning signs of both suicidality and “manipulation“. Unfortunately, the black hole of mental illness is growing deeper and darker daily. The chances are high that a child may be faced with a situation like this at least once before they’ve reach adulthood and even remotely equipped to handle it alone. Just start that conversation like this:

Human beings can’t be each other’s duct tape, sweet child. So, let’s talk about what do should the day ever come that someone asks you to be theirs.

Williamson and I are determined to build our daughter into a mentally wealthy, confident, and strong woman who will never have to wonder who she is and run away to save her own soul like I did. She’ll live life on her terms like the QUEEN she’s destined to be, “no reins” whatsoever, and I’ll fight for her to have that freedom until the day I’m gone and beyond.

… meanwhile, here we stand at the precipice of the wide open range she’s just raring at the bit to go flyin’ out across. My little girl is making me smile again … and cry my damn eyes out … because in less than twelve months from this very night I’ll be moving her to Lubbock, Texas to take the ride of her life. I couldn’t be any prouder of her if I wanted to. By the way? I MADE HER! Me! It was me! I’m the one who created this masterpiece! Just sayin’!

I am nothing, everything, and all of it at once, and nope, I’m not that special. Meanwhile, can I just say this? I’m in love with this “Being” I cannot see, yet, I feel everywhere in every thing. Yes, I very much do still fall for Him like suns fall for skies. I know. I know. It’s sounds kinda crazy, right? Well, it doesn’t mean it isn’t true.

While “You Reign” will always be my go-to love song to The Power that’s running my “all of this”, this one is giving it a run for the money. When I sing it, I SING IT OUT LOUD! I sing it to HIM as my heart literally feels like it’s bursting out of my chest the way it did the very first time I heard it. Then I weep … because if only I could “poof” this magic thing I have to everyone I meet, oh, what a world this would be!

Dear God,

I push my feet to the edge. I look, and I face my world. This lonely scene … I take it in. It’s hard to say where all of it begins and I end. And I waited for the sky to change, but, oh, it never did, and I almost dropped my head and lost my faith. Then I saw You from a distance … You were worlds away. Oh, but You had me from the vision … I never looked away again. I walk these streets of loneliness. A tranquil sea on all horizons. This empty scene of might-have-beens … I stare at starless skies that call to me and I still wish. They said that we both were too different … that all of the shine would fade away. But I wish that I never listened, ’cause You pulled me through the grey. I still fall for You like suns do for skies. Cerulean pouring in from Your eyes. Just a hollow moon that You colorized. So powerful. I feel so small … but so alive … like watching the Earthrise.

I Love You, God … Me

Can U imagine being 18, 19, or 20 and getting in this metal coffin to travel across the English Channel while standing in an ankle deep mixture of cold sea water and puke knowing that when that door drops, U have to step out, and if everything goes right, U’ll be on a beach in France? And if everything doesn’t go perfectly, U’ll step out and swim to a beach lugging 80lbs of gear into a hail of bullets and mortars and the sound of 1,000 machine guns meant to send U to Ur Maker. This was not, “Oh, shit! I forgot to study for my Physics test!”, or, “I can’t find a job!”, or, “Damnit! I can’t pay my cell phone bill this month!”, or, “My girlfriend broke up with me!” or, God forbid, “They didn’t call me by my right pronouns!” … or any other tragedies that might wake up a 19 year old today. No. U’ve been handed a gun, a helmet, and some some rations, and U’ve been told good luck by some officers back in Dover who know, at best, 50% U aren’t coming home, and if things go sideways, 90% of U may bleed out on a beach a few miles away or drown just trying to get there. The bravery and the terror is never quite captured in the photos. Even the very best of them.

{Craig Chase}

Meanwhile …

It’s hard to tell these days and which way that we’re falling. I’m not sure any more what’s right or what is wrong. It hurts to feel … to think … to know I may be nothing. But then again, I’ve been wrong before. I’ve opened up my eyes just to wish that I’d stayed blind!

It’s hard to fathom just how fast we all are spinning. It’s hard to know that there’s a heaven beyond hell. It burns a hole right through my soul to think it’s ending. But then again, I’ve been right before. I’ve opened up my eyes just to find out you’re all blind!

Make a wish … say a prayer … hope that Someone is out there. Build a bridge to Babylon then burn it to the ground!

Blacken out the sky and let the arrows fly. It’s never over … not ’til it’s over. Outside looking in, when do the nightmares end? Over and over, until it’s over! The end!

{Five Finger Death Punch}

For the record, I truly am an outside the box, highly conservative yet liberal woman who believes that love should always win regardless of its race, color, creed, or orientation. I won’t stand for bashing, slurs, or hate of any kind against human beings who also live outside a black and white box with no room for grace from those who don’t adhere to the principle of “to each his own“.

As I said in the video, while “the pronoun war” is not mine to fight and way over my pay grade, anyone whose flag is different than mine is judgment free and safe in my company. Imma leave that whole ordeal up to The Pro and just pray there will be plenty of grace for me when it’s my turn to step out of that proverbial U-boat in the sky and face my Maker. Good GRIEF is my infraction list gonna take an eternity to comb through.

Lol! And to think that my Cleveland Brown lovin’ friend wasn’t trying to be profound! You see, that’s what made his words profound. In the end, the truth doesn’t require profundity. It’s self-evident. Wake up, my friends! Open up your eyes and welcome to fuckin’ Babylon!

(ps)

Here’s betting that the vast majority of adults who read this, much less today’s “woke but going NOWHERE” kids won’t understand why “you” was spelled “U” in my friend’s “Wake Up U Awoken Ones” post.

(pSs)

Sometimes “outside looking in” fucking BLOWS!

(psSs)

It’s World Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Day 2023, and I’m thankful for “that day that I woke up” from one of the most twisted living nightmares a human being can ever live through, survive, then RISE to tell about:

“What Lied Beneath“

As for the devil? He never ONCE turned back see what he had done! It was such an easy choice for him to just discard me as the unwanted “baggage” he’d once referred to as my son. As for me? It was everything, because I loved him (or so I thought), trusted him, and had given him every piece of my already broken heart I could have given.

“Starving A Narcissist“

At first, he gaslight it back to my insanity, but a friend hooked my phone up to a recording device so I could at least try to bait the truth out of him in what he thought was a private conversation. Lol! The dumb fuck actually fell for it! I then took the recording to the used car dealership that Angie’s family owned and played it for her father and brother, who was one of John’s best friends. Needless to say, it didn’t end well for the small man and dear, sweet ‘lil Angie. I’d been vindicated! Believe me when I say that although this tale seems way too far fetched, the people who helped me bust “Hoovery McNarcissist” at what was almost his best mind fuck EVER are both still very much alive to tell about it.

“Hoovery MacHooverson“

“Hey you! I was just thumbing through my text stream and realized that my text to you this morning was green, and I’m like “did you block me” and then I went straight to your voicemail when calling, so … did you block me before or after I sent you that text?” Lol. You were just “thumbing through your text stream”, huh? Umm, NO, little man MacHoovy Hoove, you were checking your old supply! We all know that little narcissist boys just don’t like being bored or alone, and I Jean Claude Van DAMN bet that you’d REALLY “value” a conversation. What’s the matter MacHoovy? Are ya feeling unadored? Well now, ain’t that a kick in the go take a dirt nap ya purely evil mini-bastard!

“The Chronicles Of MacHoovery“

At this point, these chronicles are getting kinda funny. Be it known, however, that although this Diary entry is dated February 20, 2022, because that’s when the little fucker called me yet again, I didn’t find it on my phone until a week later. Why is that you ask? Well, my friends, “Catherine Marie” (throwing up in my own mouth) has left the building, Satan is BLOCKED and DISREGARDED, and long gone are the days that I go digging through fuckin’ trashcans. Well, wait. I take that back. Rebirthing and reinventing seemingly useless things is one of my favorite things to do, but only if that garbage is worth my time and attention.

“Old MacHOOVER Had A Farm“

Meanwhile, guess who’s still calling who after 23 fucking years, still keeping our “special dates” on his calendar, and still thinking of ME when he sees a a drop dead gorgeous woman on social media. Although, I must admit that he was dead-on, tiny balls accurate in that correlation, ’cause, umm, for a “fifty-THREE-it’s-SO-good-to-be-ME” year old biotch, I STILL look pretty good. So, with that, “Hey, you … MacHeebie FUCKING Jeebie?

HOW DO YA LIKE ME NOW?

Narcissistic abuse is both psychological and emotional. As such, because there are no physical scars, it’s wreckage is all but impossible to prove. Meanwhile, since there are no laws against mind fucking, name calling, belittling, degrading, and isolating their victims, narcissists can literally fly under the radar unscathed, unrecognized, and unpunished for entire lifetimes. It’s imperative to note that most people diagnosed with NPD have a pattern of NOT taking responsibility for their behaviors, impulsivity, and a lack of empathy. This makes them relatively resistant to treatment or change. After all, ya can’t fix something you don’t think is broken:

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism.

{The Mayo Clinic}

The ONLY way to end narcissistic abuse is to raise awareness and educate people about what it is, the often subtle warning signs, and how to avoid these “things” that walk among us all together. Knowledge, awareness, and education are the critical armor needed to avoid being tangled in their webs. Those THAT (not “who”) are narcissistic abusers tend to seek out prey that are already in a weakened and vulnerable psychological state. Why is that you ask? Because these SPAWN are so weak in the mind and faint of any real heart, that the only prey they can run after are the ones even weaker than they are. It’s laughable to think about.

To anyone reading this who has ever been ensnared by one of these animals, BE PROUD! Actually? Now that I think of it, calling them “animals” is an abysmal discredit to the animal kingdom, since studies have shown that most animals are sentient and therefore capable of “feelings”. Narcissists are not! At any rate, please listen to this song if you or someone you know is a narc abuse survivor, then celebrate today for having awakened and risen from their chaos. Breaking free from one of those THING’S cages is not for the faint of heart and ONLY the strong survive them!

CHAOS

Each day is a war. A fight we must face. Our backs to the wall. Our hands bound and tied. Our feet in the grave. Sometimes, I feel it’s what kills me inside. Sometimes, I feel it’s what keeps me alive. So, take the world that you hate … the pain that you face … ’cause only the strong will survive! Break the cage of your life. Awaken the fire inside! Let the chaos bring you to life! The deeper we fall, the higher we soar. The scars show us all we will survive when we can’t take anymore. Sometimes, I feel it’s what keeps me alive. So, take the world that you hate … the pain that you face … ’cause only the strong will survive! Break the cage of your life. Awaken the fire inside! Let the chaos bring you to life! Drain the world ’til it’s all gone! {Like A Storm}

There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza. There’s a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, there’s a hole. Then fix it, dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry. Then fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, FIX it! With what should I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza? With what should I fix it, dear Liza, with what?

While I’d originally made this live video this past Wednesday, June 21st, and was planning to drop it here in The Diary that day, while I was scrolling around on the World Wide Web in search of the perfect image as the cover, I happened upon THIS gem diddy of a nugget:

So, I ended up back-dating it a few weeks in honor of it’s this officially official “National Hole In My Bucket Day”! Who woulda ever THUNK IT? Meanwhile, Hi everyone, it’s me, HENRY! While, indeed, it’s true that the proverbial bucket your mama delivered you in was never gonna perfect or pristine once humanity and life in general got a hold of you, you can, indeed, make yourself WHOLE again.

Well, fix them, dear people, dear people, dear people. Well, fix them, dear people, dear people, FIX THEM!

So, grab yourself some metaphorical E600 miracle fix all and start a patchin’, spackelin’ and pluggin’ all those “toxic trait” leaks ASAP!

… but (ps):

In case you didn’t already know this by now, that “miracle adhesive” is the beautifully flawed, EPIC human disaster of a MASTERPIECE you see standing in the mirror, and the manufacturer of that wonder compound is The Master who created you in the first place. Look for His blood-soaked paintbrush, my friends! He’s just waiting to hand you that ever-loving tube of the best permanent cement that is currently not on the market courtesy of His son, Jesus, whose grace and forgiveness are the main ingredients!

Call your name every day when I feel so helpless. I’ve fallen down, but I’ll rise above this, rise above this. I’ll mend myself before it gets me.

{Seether}

Thank you to those of you who have reached out to me this last week, even though I haven’t returned a SINGLE call or text. I appreciate you more than you’ll ever know. Imma be alright, though. Not only do I have no other choice, but I wouldn’t even WANT another choice. Falling and rising over and over again are what I was meant to do.

~ Real Bat

(I mean, Real CAT!)

“You wanna GO?”

I’LL JUST SAY NO!

Who wants to guess what THE best argument I’ve ever had was?

Wait for it …

Wait for it …

DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! The best argument I’ve ever had is the ones I never had by simply refusing to argue. I’m not gonna lie, folks – the demon on my shoulder that still rears its head now and then loves it when the people who want me to argue with them only get a smirk and laugh they can’t hear but KNOW is happening in my head when they’re trying to take me toe to toe on something but they can’t! I WIN! THEY LOSE!

If you’ve never felt the utmost power of not giving people the satisfaction of letting them revert you back to the toddler you once were who couldn’t control their emotions, I cannot recommend it enough. Once you’ve felt it, it actually becomes addictive, and the mastery of your OWN art of war will reach new and epic heights. It’s the “Art Of War” SUPREME, my friends, and it probably makes Sun Tzu smile even bigger than those little trolls from our dark side that we keep on a leash do! Why not give it a try?

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change.

{Charles Darwin}

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy not on the fighting the old, but on building the new.

{Socrates}

There are two options: adapt or die.

{Andrew Grove}

Adaptability is not imitation. It means power of resistance and assimilation.

{Mahatma Gandhi}

Adaptability is being able to adjust to any situation at any given time.

{John Wooden}

Empty your mind. Be formless, shapeless, like water. You put water into a cup, it becomes the cup.

{Bruce Lee}

The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water molds itself to the pitcher.

{Unknown}

Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.

{Stephen Hawking}

I just can’t stand another day when you’re in my way … long time brewing … it’s time to kiss your ass goodbye.

{Sully Erna}

Be the reason people are forced to adapt!

{Gia Embach}

Jean-Claude Van DAMN, my kid’s an ACTUAL genius! Meanwhile, just as true as Darwin said that only the strong and most adaptable of a species survive, your goal should be to become the strongest and most adaptable of the strong and adaptable, such that the others have to adapt to you! THAT, my friends, is what will set you far above and apart from even the strongest of “survivors”. Be the one who bends just enough to never ever break, and let them bend to YOU! Just sayin’.

My time is on its’ way … I’ll fall, but I won’t break. The road I walk is paved with broken promises I’ve made. At least a million times I’ve fallen, but NEVER will I break!

{3 Doors Down}

In honor of “International SUN Day“, lemme ask you a question:

Are you focused on what YOU are after? The key to YOUR next open chapter?

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but not only is no one gonna steal The Sun for you, but literally, no one else can! Loving yourself and SAVING yourself are inside jobs my friends. Yes, they are choices! YES, THEY ARE ALLOWED!

… and above all things, don’t forget to shine your Light, fly from the inside, and spread your infection everywhere you roam! Sing and scream your joy so loud that even strangers will feel it oozing from your soul!

(“When The Sun Is Hard To Find“)

(ps)

In case you didn’t know this already, there’s enough of Her to go around for all of us! She can shine simultaneously in infinite spaces and lifetimes and illuminate our independent universes at once. She’s kinda magic that way, so, there’s no competition necessary or need whatsoever to dampen or extinguish anyone else’s sunshine.

If you’re that cranky parasite running around out there that no one wants to be around, who literally make peoples’ skin crawl with an ass ugly scowl permanently etched across your face, or worse yet, who people are gonna have to find a way to “fake cry” through your funeral one day, DO BETTER! Do ya hear me? Being a toxic wasteland of a sunshine killer is fucking gross, I’m tellin’ ya! IT’S GROSS!

Are you malignant “misery” just waiting for a place to happen and don’t even wanna try to get out of your own way and CHOOSE joy? Well, then do the rest of us who are mindfully and willfully making the best of our humanity gig here beneath The Sun a favor, just stay the fuck home and save us all from YOU!

Lol! Why do you think I keep this little circle of mine so small rather than trying to win a bunch of friends and followers by jumping onto everyone else’s bullshit and misery bandwagons? I’m in this game to KILL it, not to win any popularity contests. Lol, perhaps if I was better at “peopling” or could fake a better personality that mirrors everyone else’s, I’d have a much bigger platform by now. But alas, if it isn’t making me a better person, serving, equipping, fortifying and educating me, or aligning with the path that I’m forging, I’M OUT before I’m IN and want absolutely nothing to do with it!

So, with that, I’mma just be SCREAM singing this epic tune all this live long day today in my ever so carefully curated blissful oblivion and staying focused on the key to MY next open chapter and noone else’s!

(pSs)

This is yet another one of those songs that has earned a place in this Diary more than once!

In closing, while in the process of writing this to you, I think I’ve discovered that in a way, these words are not just from me to you, but from me to me. It appears that we are both standing at a crossroad right now, aren’t we? Congratulations my graduate, I LOVE YOU! It’s time for you to FLY FROM THE INSIDE!

(“Fly From The Inside“)

FLY FROM THE INSIDE

Is the weight of the world on my shoulders? Is the weight of the world on my shoulders? On my shoulders … All alone I pierce the chain. And all in all the sting remains. And dying eyes consume me now. The voice inside screams out loud, I am focused on what I am after. The key to the next open chapter. Cause I found a way to steal the sun from the sky. Long live that day that I decided to fly from the inside. Every day a new deception. Pick your scene and take direction. And all in all I search to connect. But I don’t wear a mask and I have no regrets. I am focused on what I am after. The key to the next open chapter. ‘Cause I found a way to steal the sun from the sky. Long live that day that I decided to fly from the inside. I can’t escape the pain. I can’t control the rage. Sometimes I think that I’m gonna go insane. I’m not against what’s right. I’m not for what’s wrong. I’m just making my way and I’m gone. {Shinedown}

Lift me up above this. The broken, the empty. Lift me up and help me to fly away. I’m gonna change history … enlighten the world … teach ’em how to see through my eyes. I’m gonna lash back … check that fate as a heart attack … stomp out all the ugliest lies!

In honor of this 10th birthday of one of THE most epic phoenix battle cries of all times, here’s to all the ones like ME who say:

FUCK all those ashes this world tried to DUST me in! LIFT ME UP!

… then find the strength to pick themselves back up off a ground that was meant to keep them there in pieces and RISE! Just sayin’.

I LOVE THIS QUESTION!

“Some people” do understand people and “some people” simply do not. In my opinion, the people who do understand people the most are those who understand themselves. Which is not to say that understanding ourselves is always easy. It’s not! The process of our understanding of ourselves begins at our first breath the day we are born, through other people’s lenses, perspectives, realities and experiences. Such that, if our first understanding of ourselves is through the eyes, words, thoughts and actions of emotionally mature, healthy and functional people, it is easier to get know and understand who we really are, and thus perpetuate that outwards to other people. UNDERSTANDING that “we are what we reflect” is the key to all understanding! Well, at least where people are concerned, that is. What we see and understand in our own mirrors is what we see and understand (or not see and understand) in others:

“At the end of the day, neither projection, deflection, or any clinical words, phrases, or diagnoses mean a hill of beans. PERCEPTION IS EVERYTHING, my friends, and aside from our faith, the only thing we really need to understand to navigate this “peopling” gig. We are NOT what people think of us … we are what people think of THEMSELVES! So, try to remember that the next time you think about letting other peoples’ opinions control your life or define you. Someone else’s opinion of you is merely a reflection of their own personal experiences, beliefs, and realities, and sometimes a reflection of a war they’re battling within themselves. Only take what is useful and valuable from other peoples’ words, thoughts, and “opinions”. NOTHING MORE! NOTHING LESS! Only YOU know the size and shape of the shoes you’ve been walking in every single day since the minute you were born, and only YOU know how the comfort, fit, and style of those shoes have shaped YOU! In being honest and taking this even further, for me, it’s only my self-reflection through God’s eyes that matters to me. But hey, you know what? My faith journey is my faith journey, and although I do so wish you ALL well on your own faith journeys, that’s a totally different Diary entry for another day. In the meantime, you just do whatever it takes to make friends with that person you see standing in the mirror, because like it or not, that beautiful creature looking back at you is your ride or die from this day ’til eternity! How YOU feel and what YOU think of YOU is EVERYTHING!”

(“The Stranger In The Mirror” from The Diary Of My Perfection )

Okay, my Quoran peeps, that’s all she wrote. Lol. “Umm, but she wrote an entire dissertation.” I know, RIGHT? It’s what I do! Oh, and for the record, while I am NOT a doctor, mental health professional, or “peopling” expert, I am just over a half a century old, with a vast wealth of hard-earned “understanding people” experience. Dare I say that, like most of us girls and boys who are skipping and SCREAMING through our epic GOLDEN years, I probably should have a masters degree in human survival and the accompanying white sheet and lamppost of the most learned philosophers in history. I JUST KNOW SHIT, and I love to tell it, because I’m pretty sure that’s what we’re ALL meant to do. Gate keeping all these human survival skills would just be WRONG!

(“The Real Cat Williamson On Quora“)